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Everything posted by Frate_Raper

  1. And one more thing KEEPITFUCKEDUPHILLBILLY.........get a new saw my dude that shit doesn't have a break on it and should be put on a shelve in a hillbilly rec room cause it's vintage and could kill you from inproper use.
  2. soooo let me get this fucking straight.........WERE NOT allowed porno threads because it could fuck with advertising revenues BUT a thread with some fucked up hill billy cutting up road kill with a FUCKING CHAINSAW is kosher? Cool
  3. smash them chubby mami's...the one with the two flicks in the alley actually looks very much like my girl
  4. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law good question about Franks abilities to swim....I'll find out....seeing as he is almost a walrus I don't see why not.
  5. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Frank loves to pee ont he seat, when ever my chicks over there she always sits in it. She started to leave extremely detailed notes as to proper peeing protocol. Dude went through this phase about 4 years ago of not flushing the toilet and leaving the seat up so the whole place at the aromatics of frank. His dad lost his head and told him if he didn't start taking care of that shit he would throw his ass out.
  6. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law we have talked about making shirts that have his body on it....sleeveless of course. When he used to roll around with semi boners I would almost die. He does this thing when hes nervous where he slides his hands down the back of his boxers and scratches his ass with the tops of his hands. I stopped touching everything the house.
  7. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law i should get a relax shirt for frank,he is a man of leisure but if you get him talking... in typical portuguese fashion he starts bitching about how hard he works.
  8. or when they line a dirty sweeds pockets?
  9. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law aight so Frank has quite an extensive palette when it comes to eating............hamburgers,hotdogs,pizza,chips,icecream and popcicles THATS IT... let me tell you about this fuckers table manors they dont exist His mom has cried over it, she doesn't know where he learned to eat like a pig, anytime they tell him to breath,or put a shirt on at the table he freaks out and stomps off talking all kinds of shit.Her normal brother and I will fist fight over who has to sit next to him at family shit......he's like a weight loss program called GROSS ME THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SMACKING SHIT! Never seen this du eat fruit,or veggies either.If it doesn't have Ketchup on it or Franks red hot,he don't eat it.
  10. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law nope Dude Frank only cooks on the Foremen grill....no stirring needed! swag
  11. So I go to Ikea with my girl....I wanted to eat, she wants to buy "cute" shit. I ate,I wondered,I got lost in that fucking masse I felt like was circling the place.....so I grabbed some mini pencils and started to draw mini dicks every where to see if I was. I find my girl and shes like in a rush and wants to jet. She saw all these wangs every where and knew it was me and heard an employee freaking out about it. ALL CITY WANGS CREW!.....say it like the guy from city wok in south park
  12. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law In high school Frank was forced to take ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE for 5 years........Dude speaks english but he sounds like he just got off the boat....upon hearing this i asked her normal brother if his Portuguese was stronger then his english. Dude turns to his dad and says some shit......they start laughing. Dude turns back to me and says.................."my dad said 5 years of esl couldn't teach him english....everyone argued with me...I kept telling them 18 years of use speaking portuguese couldn't teach him not to ask for seconds....waste of tax money" As this was going on Frank walked by the garage eating a hotdog.....WE ALL LAUGHED
  13. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law After reading up about the case, they knew it was that guy. They just needed DNA and a warrant....Frank turning himself in would have been fucking awesome!
  14. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law My girls normal brother once alerted me to Franks close resemblance to Superman.....he rolls in the house and in a blink of an eye he's in his boxers walking around........he called him TARDMAN. Shit was banger!
  15. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law So Franky hates wearing coats......he will layer multiple hoods to get the desired warmth that his body hair doesn't provide. Thats not the issue or the funny part, as alot of people don't wear coats in the winter in CANADA! The awesome part about Frank wearing his 5 exco hoodies is the method he uses to remove them. one by one he latches the hood over the banister, bends down with his hands over his head and backs out of them. While grunting and making noises only a fat man can make. HE'S 33 YEARS FUCKING OLD!
  16. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law So in her family when ever a person dies they will have a nice meal on that persons birthday as a "salute". Grandmas dead...remember Frank dumping the flowers and water out in the church?swag! We go out for this family meal, 50 deep easily.All the grand kids on one side and the adults etc on the other....oh by the way....we only eat at portuguese spots cause her ignant family wont eat anything not pork chop......So the Benfica(shitty foot ball team) games on and Franks Dad is swagging beers and watching it spazzing out. One of the other cakers that married in to the family loves to play tricks on my girls dad....it's their bro time. So when ever Dads not looking he reaches up and turns the channel. Dad freaks out at the waiter shits all gravy and super funny. Frank doesn't like social situations in which he is not the centre of attention, he finds reasons not to go to weddings, parties, family shit etc. He makes up friends,dates or starts beefs amongst people to not go, or make the thing about him. Frank tried his hardest to get out of this dinner but after his mom says "frank you dont have a date or any friends"....but yo thick thick portuguese accent and very monotone. He's pissed and out for blood. He screams at the dude thats turning the TV off "STOP FUCKING MY DADDY", cause you don't know what hes like, he drinks and goes crazy and beats me.....and when he comes after me i'm coming after you" then he runs out of the place but like a 3 year old all retarded and unsteady WE ALL GO OFFFFFF LAUGHING! Her dad doesn't really drink and is the nicest man I've ever met, wouldn't hurt a fly let alone beat up his fat retarded son.
  17. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Don't get it twisted guys....Frank is always pretty nice to me.It's just that he is so fucked and self absorbed that he does shit to EVERYONE that sucks....thus making me hate him. When ever I'm at his parents place he will roll up to me with his porn smuggler and offer it to me to read the paper...... I AINT TOUCHING THAT SHIT!
  18. If you are a gear head go buy something used that you can keep running and looking slick. Cars piss me off so much. I buy a nice german car thinking it will be a dream boat and it was, I trade it in on my next nazi wagon, got 2700 dollars on a 30000 dollar car? are you fucking kidding me. This nazi wagon is a sack of shit and cost me a bunch of cash. When it runs it runs and is a great car, when it goes down it's always 1000's and a pain in the ass.
  19. wtf chick looks like the little brother from the movie dazed and confused
  20. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law A girl went missing here and it was a huge fucking deal. It was in my girls parents hood....her name was holly jones,look it up. The police and an fbi profiler made up a profile and released it. It outlined an over weight, porn addicted loser etc etc. Frank reads the the profile in his porno smuggler and FREAKS OUT.........it fit Frank to a fucking TEEEEEE. He sits his mom down and tells her that he killed Holly Jones. His mom freaks out, everyones going nuts and I roll up to the house and drop the bomb. "YO THEY CUAGHT THE FUCKER THAT KILLED JONES TURN ON THE TV" It wasn't Frank
  21. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Franks pretty smart, he smuggles his porn into the house by using news papers.......so for christmas I thought a great way to fuck with him and to look good to the rest of the family was to buy him a subscription and have it delivered. My girl freaked out saying I was being mean and that I'm smarter then him and all this other shit.......i ran it by her normal brother and he thought it was fucking amazing. I chickened out.
  22. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Frank loves Black on Blondes..........
  23. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law like tottally,omfg you dontz?
  24. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Quick Frank lol Back when the ol lady and I first hooked up she told me her mom will offer me orange juice but it's really tang, I fucking love euro moms and the loss of translation of languages. BUT She tells me not to take the Tang....EVER,EVER,EVER! WHY?.....she grabs her normal brother and gets him to show me why. FRANK MAKES THE TANG.....he uses all of his resources to make the Tangist Tang known to man......by forgoing the measuring instruments and necessary stirring tools he has his own methodology, Poor tang powder in to jug add water stir with hand/arm slurp tang off said hand/arm repeat process until desired Tangness is reached. If you ever roll threw my girls rents crib she isn't feeling you...you get the TARDANG
  25. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law Yo buzz kill this isn't about your tardoligist skills.....it's about Frank the retard being fucking hilarious. And if you most know....frank lives in a windowless room with his wrestling mags and porn collection!
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