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stupid shit

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by iCEBERG, May 31, 2002.

  1. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    Pistol reminded me of some stupid shit that happened in school so if you got stories post em

    heh this polish kid artkadius said some shit like that once in science class a few years ago. he called a bucket of pig fetus's... fig petus's in his polish accent and they had to stop class cause i was laughin so hard.

    which brings me to a fine point in english class, i used to sit behind this dude wes an we were supposed to be readin like chocolate war or some shit. anyways we took a test which i failed with flying colors and im guessin he did too but the teacher was givin out oral extra credit afterwards askin people shit.

    an one question was "what happened that became a turning point in so and so's life?" so he turned around like "you read this shit? lemme get the answer i need these points" so i was like "ya i read this shit, this dude got caught makin out with some kid in the schools bathroom" heh he was like "nah hell no he didnt" an nobody else could figure what happened out an im tryin to convince him some dude got caught makin out with his boy in the bathroom stall, earlier in the book i guess some dude got caught jerkin off in the stall at school so i used that to vouch my shit for the truth so i said "man its the same dude that got caught jerkin his shit in the bathroom earlier, you think he does that shit an he dont make out with his boys? whatever but its your grade tho"

    so when the teacher called him an asked what was the turning point or whatever in this characters life homeboy said "uhhh yea he got caught makin out with his boy in the bathroom"


    the whole class was like "what the fuck?" i never laughed so hard in my life. my teacher was heated but fuck it i didnt get in trouble.

    another time at lunch this guy wes was sittin around outside an this was back when i was a freshman an everyone was all into hazing and shit. i was cool with everyone cause i had already been knowin them for awhile through my older brother so id only catch an ass woopin on my birthday. so everyone was sittin outside at lunch just bullshittin an this dude jayray came outside with a paddle like "imma fuck someone the fuck up" an wes was an easy target... he was like "bend the fuck over" an wes was like "nah nah" so two kids started fuckin him up goin "bend the fuck over an take it like a [email protected]#!$" yellin at him an snuffin him an shit. im just chillin watchin this go on so finally he gives in an gets the shit paddled outta him. i had next period algebra with wes an once again he sat next to me an when he came in he had to sit down in his seat like he was gettin into a tub of hot water :lol:

    story number 324093428

    at lunch we used to be able to chill outside and id smoke bowls with these older dudes everyday at lunch. i always had science after lunch too and id be high as fuck sittin there not payin attention for shit an my boys or whoever would walk by makin me lose the concentration i never had in the first place and i ended up getting tested for add when in reality i was just high as fuck and didnt have an attention span worth a shit.

    story number 351358913

    this dude alex drew a picture of a dick on a peice of paper and wrote "sit on this" on it and gave it to me bein stupid. so i was like "your corny" an threw it at this kid seth. heh seth was like imma give this to the teacher an tell him you said to give it to him... :lol: i was like "go ahead... fuck it" tryin to call his bluff... homeboy went up to the teacher an gave him that picture an pointed to me goin "he told me to give you this" that teacher was normally cool as fuck but that shit got him ripped and i got kindly excused for the day goin "he was the one who gave it to you, i dont even know why hes walkin around with a drawing of a dick, an your gettin me in trouble for this?"

    story number 34289743

    my boy skipped math and went outside to smoke a blunt on the side of the school. he didnt know it was the side where his math class windows were an when they were smokin people were flickerin the blinds an he didnt know if he was just seein shit. but some dude was tryin to tell him the whole class and the teacher were standing in the window watching him smoke a blunt with this chick instead of being in their class heh

    story number 46436

    this dude germaine i grew up with was a freshman at the time who could seriously bang out with anyone. so some senior was beefin with him about it... and germaine whooped his fucking ass in like 13 seconds, picked the dude up over his shoulder walked him down to the nurses office and left him on the waiting bench :lol: an just left school :lol:

    story number 7

    this kid allo brought a quarter stick of dynamite to school and lit a cigarrette in the bathroom and stuck the wick through the end of it so when it burned down it would ignite and stuck it behind a toilet in the bathroom. well that shit blew off when this dude tommy was walking into the bathroom and temporarily made him deaf on one side. he found out who did it and at lunch for everyone to see (this dude tommys big as fuck, allos kinda tiny) picked allo up and put him through a lunch table before proceeding to mash out on allos face.

    story number 867454343

    one time the school got evacuated cause a bunch of solids came onto the school grounds lookin for kings. that shit was kinda dope. well not really but we got outta school early. it was crazy sittin at school with solids walkin around like they owned the place. they were makin me nervous as fuck an everyone got sent home an the police were called an all this other shit. nothin happened because half the police force got called out an we got the day off. this dude darren said "you stand in front of me" so i could block the view of his lakers jersey from a buncha solids at one of the doors :lol: i was like "homeboy your gettin fucked up of you dont do somethin about that shit quick, an im not takin nothin for that lakers jersey, i dont even like the lakers"

    i got a million more but yall can post up some of yours, i think thats a few for now so post your shit up if you got any
  2. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    fig petuses
  3. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3
    story # 899.112
    a bunch of friends and i were partyin in this park , this really chillin park . and my buddy was pissed out of his tree and decided to dive off a picnic table onto the 'water' . he proceeded to dive off the table all giddy and care free , where he landed and broke his front tooth and sprain his wrist . haha it was so funny until he started crying and we had to drunken drive him to the hospital . then we went back to the party :dazed:
  4. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    ahah drunk people are stupid as shit

    my boy chris was all drunk and took a dump on some like wannabe cops hood of his car in his driveway and fell and ended up sitting in his own shit. an since he was drunk and already had sat in his own shit on this guys hood, decided to smear it around with his asscheecks

    :lol: yea it was a nasty as you think

    yea fuck it imma change this thread to just stupid storyies, school or non school related.
  5. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3
    hahaha , that'd be pretty bad .

    one halloween we were running around lighting bags of poop on fire and putting them on doorsteps ( great fun when it works )....and my buddy manny as he ran up to the house his fingers broke through the bag and he got shit all over them , but he didnt notice at first , then as he was running back he goes to wipe the hair out of his eyes .......haha and smearts shit across his face . ohh lord it was soo funny , he notices and ironically screams " ohh shit " , then we all ran away .
  6. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    I remember this one Halloween me and 2 homies are chilling with these 2 girls that claimed to be from 18st. They were nice looking though not chola at all. So we had some 1800 and they were drinking. They were acting all goofy like this is some 18oo etc. One wasn't drinking until the other one started saying do it for 18 show these guys hopw we do type shit. The one i was gonna be with was the non-drinker. Well after the bottle is threw one goes to the side of the garage and throws up. Well she was there for awhile so we tell her homegirl to go check up on her to make sure she's still breathing. So she goes to check on her and I guess she starts puking too. They were both kinda on the floor laying in puke. So by then our other homie shows up. So me and him go to the store to get some papers. We come to the stop sign by the dead end and see cops at my homies house. So we take off and cruise Whittier Blvd to see if we can pick up any less drunker horror pies. We come back and some friend of my homies show up. I don't know these fools but whatever. We get out the car and try to find out what happened. And the 2 guys I don't know are in the backyard with these 2 broads trying to get head or something. Why else would they be alone with them back there. Please remember these chicks both throw up and were laying in it and never cleaned up inside.
    skanless fools.

    needless to say i didn't get any that night.
    to top it off I stayed around just chilling and then the girls needed a ride home @ 4am. I was gonna leave them and there smelly asses at the homies pad but then sacrificed my cars interior so they wouldn't stink up my friends pad.
  7. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    head from a puke coverd chick is definitely NOT appealing.:spent:
  8. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
    at a hell rich girls party one night,and the girls that were there where the snobbiest little sluts u could meet and the guys were these rower dicks.anyways me and a few mates decide we had to fuck this party up one way or another.so it was like me my freind sam and johnny and johnnys gf ummm fuck forgot her name well call her sara.so we had an idea that we thought would work.me sam and johnny took 6 empty beer bottles around the corner and filled them up with great diffuculty in not getting piss on ourselves.we head back to the party and act like weve just been down to the bottle shop with a 6 pack and start handing them out to the girls and guys.they crack the beers and scull them down hard and fast and look up with a verry confused look on their faces but were so drunk they kept drinkin.the only thing they asked was how come the beer was warm...
    awhile passes at this same party and johnny and sara walk off to go do their thing.now johnny and sam have the type of relationship were they like to fuck with people for a laugh and will do most often anything in the name of fun.so there off for like 30mins or watever and come back and johnnys got a big grin on his face as he comes up to us.sara goes off to get us some beers and he tells us he just got head off sara and to watch her for a second.so me and sam are like um yeh ok.saras off chatting to some dude that was there big beefcake mofo and were like whats goin on but johnnys like just wait man just wait.we turn back and saras hookin up with this guy infront of everyone,johnny walks up to the both of them and turns to the guy and says "so how do i taste?"the guy looks at johnny and asks what?johhny turns to him and says "u know that bitter taste a girls ment to taste after shes just given head to her bf and hes cum all in her mouth and around her lips?i was just wondering how i tasted on ur lips" the guy looks up and looks at johnny puts his hands to his mouth and goes "arrghhh"starts spitting everywhere and he cheks to see where johnny is to beat the shit out of him but by that time were all legging it down the road to saras house laughing our asss off...
  9. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    im sorry,
    i dont know how to read.
  10. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    :lol: that cup-o-noodles shit had me rollin cause i could picture myself gettin down like that :lol:

    one time me an my boy got real drunk an somehow ended up back at my house stumbled past my parents and were chillin in my room. well my mom goes in the bathroom and starts takin a shower at like i dunno 10:30 at night for some reason. an he goes "imma puke" and was swayin everywhere and shit so im like "umm hold up" so im bangin on the bathroom door like "yo mom hurry up marks gotta take a real bad shit but he dont wanna say nothin an im tellin you so he dont shit all over my room" :lol: i was drunk as fuck an didnt really care what i said to get her outta the bathroom. anyways she takes too long gettin out an my boy puts his hand over his mouth and his cheecks blow up an im like "you better swallow that shit or else imma fuck you up" he then heaved again an that shit sprayed out a little bit on the walls an i was like "fuuuck this" an i ran to to kitchen and grabbed the garbage can up an blew our spots an my parents laughed for like 3 days straight after i told them why i finally gave in an just got the garbage can
  11. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    nobody got no stories? damn heres another one...

    my boy justins a little crazy. hes liked fucked up in the head from doing disgusting amounts of acid shrooms extacy coke whatever whatever.

    one time he got stuck in a k hole in english class but thats another story.

    he used to carry a cracker an whippits in school with him and do whippits in the bathroom between periods. well when we had swimmin the pool area had its own personal bathroom thing, an everyone would be swimmen an everyday hed go "could i use the bathroom?" an the teacher would be like "justin again? go ahead" and hed go in an shut the door. now if you knew to listen for it you could here him crack a whippit and fill up his balloon everytime he went in :lol: that shit was hilarious. and hed come out stumblin an everything :lol:

    story number [email protected]$%^$

    justin used to live in the wealthy part, on the outskirts an shit bordering like farmtown... town type places. an if you went past his backyard there was a chicken coop type shit. anyways he was prolly smokin weed or some shit an lollygaggin around this fucking field and found a long pole. so he decided itd be fun to go over and break into the chicken coop and fuck up his neighbors chickens. well he killed like 7 and bounced. heh he got caught by leaving behind a cooler full of flowers with his name and address on it :lol:
  12. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    no fucking stories? fuck you, you got stories you just dont want to share so ill share with you the first time i got jumped

    it was in a different city an people from where i lived went over there. now where im from theirs nothing to do but pop shit. anyways when we got there kids from where i lived was already there an this big dude had already gotten snuffed and had a huge fucking egg on his eye.

    the ratio was like 1/10 us/them and shit broke out cause this dude we called big johnny who could pretty much rag the fuck outta anyone there got his has whooped because he was on all types of drugs. so theres a huge crowd of them and a tiny crowd of us. an im all yell "johnny fuck that dude up, hes fuckin you up you actin like abitch blah blah" which brought a nice amount of attention to me (yea smart huh?)

    anyways suddenly this dude from my city runs around just cuttin people left and right with some bigass fucking kitchen knife he stole from dudes kitchen while at the same time this other dude hopped in someones suv and opened all four doors. well he went barrelling into the crowd of people with the suv to even the odds and ran over some girl an sent he to the hospital seriously fucked up, that wasnt too cool. anyways since he had all the doors open people gather round trying to hop inside and he throws it into reverse and the doors just scooped and tossed mass amount of people while he backed up over this girl again. he almost hit my ass. some dude tried playin superman and went to jump inside of the suv but got rolled like a toy heh. he got it pretty bad so it turned basically into this clique verse that clique and i guess we already established were fightin dirty cause of the odds.

    anyways about 8-9 dudes circle around me an someone gets me in a headlock an is like "who was that?#[email protected]" an i didnt know at the time but i didnt say nothin, he tried to snuff me in the face but i put my head down like in some movie i seen an snuffed the top of my head and broke like 2 fingers or some shit and let me go. then his friends all took turns snuffing the shit outta me :lol:

    everytime i got hit id have to like "reset" and figure out where everyone else was all over again. i snuffed the fuck outta one dude at the same exact time i got tagged and ended up punching him with my palm to his upper row of teeth and too this day i have a dental record of him on my hand. one of his boys tried tackleing me from behind but i somehow threw the spin move on him an he busted his ass.

    i figured if i got taken off my feet i was pretty much getting stomped all the way to the hospital. anyways i somehow through all this duckin an weavin an getting the shit snuffed outta me an avoiding the tackle never left my feet an threw like 1 punch to their fucking 27 snuffs. the police came an said they were gonna charge me with fucking breach of peace because after it got broken up i tried fuckin up some of these dudes one on one cause i was pretty heated. and eventually made my escape.

    durin the scuffle my boy steve came through and kicked one of the kids that was taggin me up in the face :lol:

    it was the sloppiest kung fu wannabe kick ive ever seen in my life but i cant complain he got that dude off me. an another one of my boys ran up an snuffed another one who turned around and started scufflin with him. and another one of my boys was dusted and used that as an excuse as to why he didnt do shit for me.

    it was crazy, it was like royal rumble.

    this chick was standing on the balcony throwing beer bottles and anything else that was glass into this crowd of rumbling people. it was like a fucking war an the odds werent on our side. that shit was a crazy ass night. my jaw got swole up pretty good an my lip was cut and my hand had a bite taken out of it when it was all over.
  13. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    bump for my friday nighters
  14. deadlydnut

    deadlydnut Guest

    should of bombed their cars..

    Heres some of mine when I was in like 4th grade, their were really fucked up kids in my class, anyway one was some fat kid obsessed with aliens whois head was bigger than his body and his name was Zack but we called him the Mortonator because his last name was morton, and some other dude in my class had a fucked up head and it looked flat, and we called him flat faced brad, and he acted like a hard ass, and then their was this kid named corey who talked slow as fuck, and his head was in the shape of a watermelon and was obsessed with wrestling anyway, one day me and my friend were like, lets do some shit thats funny, so were on recess break and we go to the restrooms, and our school was old and ghetto, so their were coat racks and shit in their...

    So we convinced zacks dumbass to go pick up brad and hang him on a coat hanger, and we left him on their and we got back like 20 minutes later and our teacher was like wheres brad? and I was like he said he had to take a shit. it was fucking like 2 hours later and the teachers like I'm going to check up on brad, and his ass was still hanging their, it was funny as hell....

    The second one was when corey was all in the class, and the teacher hated all of us because she was like 70 and still not retired, anyway corey was like (Now remember it takes corey 6 seconds to pronounce a word longer than 6 letters) "Um teacher I think i'm going to get sick" teacher was like "BULLSHIT COREY YOU JUST WANT TO FUCKING GO HOME YOU FUCKING SLACKER" Corey was like "No um Sick i'm gong to be" and the teacher started gabbing and right in the middle of her bitching Corey barfs all over her legs and shoes I mean he fucking barfed like a mad man took like 2 minutes was funny as hell...
  15. iCEBERG

    iCEBERG Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2001 Messages: 2,039 Likes Received: 0
    there was this crazy kid in my school named lewis who always wore a trenchcoat and had long hair and always put it in a sloppy ponytail and had to use a little telescope to look out of his bad eye... yea i got no stories he was just kinda crazy lookin when he would look at you through his tiny telescope