Welcome!

By registering with us, you'll be able to discuss, share and private message with other members of our community.

  1. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum...
    You are currently logged out and viewing our forum as a guest which only allows limited access to our discussions, photos and other forum features. If you are a 12ozProphet Member please login to get the full experience.

    If you are not a 12ozProphet Member, please take a moment to register to gain full access to our website and all of its features. As a 12ozProphet Member you will be able to post comments, start discussions, communicate privately with other members and access members-only content. Registration is fast, simple and free, so join today and be a part of the largest and longest running Graffiti, Art, Style & Culture forum online.

    Please note, if you are a 12ozProphet Member and are locked out of your account, you can recover your account using the 'lost password' link in the login form. If you no longer have access to the email you registered with, please email us at [email protected] and we'll help you recover your account. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum (and don't forget to follow @12ozprophet in Instagram)!

bikers, beer and blood

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by When, May 29, 2003.

  1. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    yea well last night i got pretty good and drunk with my friend and we
    decided to go longboarding to the liquor store to get some smokes
    (we were both way too gone to drive)

    well on the way there i am fiending for a smoke so bad, i decide
    to stop at this local biker bar to try to bum a smoke off of someone
    my friend had taken off ahead of me at this point because he doesnt like the place

    i remember pretty much nothing after asking this one biker for a smoke
    except for him swinging at me, and me swinging back
    i think i won, then i proceeded to walk away
    (i say i think i won because if you dont, you dont walk away that bar)
    because my friend saw me walking down the street and passing the fuck out, i woke up a few minutes later with my friend looking at me funny
    he said i was snoring, and im not sure if i passed out from the beer
    or because i got my chin split by that fucking biker

    i still havent gone for stitches in my chin and its been about 24 hours
    so i dont even think they can stitch anymore
    meh, here are some pictures for your enjoyment...

    my portion of the drinking
    (i hate budlight but i didnt have enough for two 12s of newcastle)
    http://www.fatcap.co.uk/host/files/beer.JPG'>

    the aftermath
    (not my blood)
    [img]http://www.fatcap.co.uk/host/files/fisttwo.JPG'>

    damn bikers
     
  2. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    your fist looks like you fucked someone up, good job
     
  3. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    but your probably going to get a disease
     
  4. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    you totally look like my brother
     
  5. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    hope not, after i took the picture i dumped rubbing alcohol all over my hands
     
  6. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    how so? and maybe i am.
     
  7. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    It is near the end of the school year, and the teacher has already turned in her grades. There is really not much to do. All the kids are restless because they are ready for the summer break.

    The teacher says, "The first person to correctly answer each of my questions may leave early."

    Little Johnny thinks, "Good. I wanna get outta here. I'm smart. I'll answer first."

    The teacher asks, "Who said, 'Four score and seven years ago?'"

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

    The teacher says, "That's right, Susie. You may leave."

    Johnny is mad that Susie answered first.

    The teacher asks, "Who said, 'I have a dream?'"

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary answers, "Martin Luther King."

    The teacher says, "That's right, Mary. You may leave."

    Johnny is even madder that Mary answered first.

    The teacher asks, "Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you?'"

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John Kennedy."

    The teacher says, "That's right, Nancy. You may leave."

    Johnny is boiling mad that Nancy answered first.

    Then the teacher turns her back, and Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

    The teacher says, "WHO SAID THAT?"

    Johnny answers, "Bill Clinton. May I go now?"
     
  8. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    If you live in cali and build cars....
     
  9. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    youre a funny guy
     
  10. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we all love!

    An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

    A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

    Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

    With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, F*** you!"

    Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
     
  11. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    SHE CALLED HIM OUT!
     
  12. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    No, really though, you bear more than a passing resembelance to my bro.
     
  13. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

    Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

    She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

    Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

    With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

    The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

    She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
     
  14. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    did your mom ever live in california and get knocked up while working in a hotel?
    my mom did, then she gave me away
    so theres always a chance
     
  15. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    haha! Brother! Long time no see!


    *our mom was a slut!
     
Top