Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 sneak: BWAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!! THE SAMMICH ONE IS THE BEST!!!! That really made my sick day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 Simpsons Scripts all seasons... http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html SHOW ME WHERE YOU HIDE TEH JEW GOLD!!!! no links brah, just text. if yous do, i show you half nipples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 yuo guyshave to request stuff...rental is comign through Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 jangles; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 no links brah, just text. if yous do, i show you half nipples. Fuck hang on I am working on it... BERNOULLI’S BOTTLE Materials: 1 empty beer bottle, and a small piece of a paper napkin. The trick: Try to get someone to blow a napkin ball into an empty beer bottle. How to do it: This trick is based on scientist Daniel Bernoulli’s principle stating that flowing air has less pressure than inert air. Be sure the neck of the empty beer bottle is dry before attempting this trick. Tear off a small piece of napkin and crumple it into a ball. This ball should be smaller than the bottle opening. Holding the bottle horizontally, place the napkin ball inside so that it rests on the lip of the bottle. Keeping the bottle horizontal, hold the opening up to someone and bet that they cannot blow the napkin into the bottle. Because of Bernoulli’s principle, the ball will be met with resistance from the air inside the bottle. This will cause the ball to blow back out into the participant’s face every time. CAPTURE THE BULLS-EYE Materials: Dry paper napkin, pencil or pen The trick: Mark a dot in the middle of a napkin and, without lifting the pencil or pen, draw a circle around the dot. There should be no lines connecting the dot and the circle. How to do it: Begin by folding in a corner of the napkin to the center of the square. Draw a dot at the napkin’s center, ending with the pen on the tip of the folded corner. Keep the pen on this corner while slowing easing the corner of the napkin away from the dot. At any distance away from the dot, draw a circle. At no point did the pen have to leave the surface of the napkin. THE BIG SNEEZE Materials: Linen napkin, utensil such as a fork or spoon The trick: Blow your nose with such force that it causes a napkin to fly upward in a comical fashion. How to do it: This is less a bar bet than a bar amusement, but it always seems to get a laugh, so we shall include it. To achieve this stunt, sneeze. Grab a napkin and unfold it to blow your nose. Secret the utensil inside the napkin before bringing the napkin to your nose. At this point, the utensil should be hidden under the napkin. When the napkin is to your nose, you should place the utensil in your mouth in such a way that when you bite, it will cause the utensil to rise upward until it is perpendicular to your face. The napkin will rise as if by a forceful blow. Feel free to make exaggerated blowing noises. Enjoy the surprised expressions of your drinking mates EVERYBODY LIKES MAJIK AFTER ALL ITS WHAT I AM MADE OF!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Alriiiiiiiiiiiight. Giggity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Don't make me post my book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 who knew this thread would take such a turn? so weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Dearest Female- This last Saturday (june-23) our week of preparations came to a head. You see I’ve been working with my family cleaning up the house, pitching tents (real tents not boners), cooking, and searching for that prefect present that could cover 2 occasions, last year’s birthday and his graduation. I’ve never meant to be, but at times I’m forgetful not because I lack consideration but I honestly believe it is due to my rampant drug use in my early teens. The entire story of my adolescences is irrelevant to the story at hand but since we are here… I was born a Christ loving Lutheran in a German family, 2nd of three male boys to Paula and Rich, I chose wisely (in hindsight) to rebel. I’ve always been told I’m not like any middle child anyone has ever meet, perhaps for the reason that I have never cared enough to acknowledge the possibility of one of my brothers to be greater than I. Well getting back into it… it’s strange, I refer to my younger brother as “my little brother”, he is a man know… I know and understand this, my older brother doesn’t refer to me as “little” but yet this flow out naturally. This story is about my little brother, Jon… well actually buying Jon a gift. Dim lights, the smell of dank books and a labyrinth of selves packed with antique ornaments ready my senses for the possibility of anything. I need to find this gift. I am obsessed with pairing the right item, to the right person, for the right occasion, I can swear it’s a mild form of retardation, arrrrgggggrowl, I’m wasting my time. Comparable to an ogre, Gunter’s stats where 5’2” at 265 lb. He sat where I assume he had always sat, the seat’s cochin worn thin, patches of stuffing protrude and holstered his obese self evoking thoughts of the plump Cupid, swollen from wedding cake, sitting on clouds looking down at his deeds, but yet never experiencing happiness itself. Clattering, reminiscent to that of the burglar alarms I once built with my little brother from empty cans of orange and grape crush, this clattering was a causation of the miserable German man cussing over the phone lines while sporadically dangling his dwarfed legs knocking around empties of DAB Original. This was the right place. Share a juicey (wink-wink) story with me if you want more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 some1: from the internet, like your message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GamblersGrin Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 you sunk my battleship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 Dearest Female- This last Saturday (june-23) our week of preparations came to a head. You see I’ve been working with my family cleaning up the house, pitching tents (real tents not boners), cooking, and searching for that prefect present that could cover 2 occasions, last year’s birthday and his graduation. I’ve never meant to be, but at times I’m forgetful not because I lack consideration but I honestly believe it is due to my rampant drug use in my early teens. The entire story of my adolescences is irrelevant to the story at hand but since we are here… I was born a Christ loving Lutheran in a German family, 2nd of three male boys to Paula and Rich, I chose wisely (in hindsight) to rebel. I’ve always been told I’m not like any middle child anyone has ever meet, perhaps for the reason that I have never cared enough to acknowledge the possibility of one of my brothers to be greater than I. Well getting back into it… it’s strange, I refer to my younger brother as “my little brother”, he is a man know… I know and understand this, my older brother doesn’t refer to me as “little” but yet this flow out naturally. This story is about my little brother, Jon… well actually buying Jon a gift. Dim lights, the smell of dank books and a labyrinth of selves packed with antique ornaments ready my senses for the possibility of anything. I need to find this gift. I am obsessed with pairing the right item, to the right person, for the right occasion, I can swear it’s a mild form of retardation, arrrrgggggrowl, I’m wasting my time. Comparable to an ogre, Gunter’s stats where 5’2” at 265 lb. He sat where I assume he had always sat, the seat’s cochin worn thin, patches of stuffing protrude and holstered his obese self evoking thoughts of the plump Cupid, swollen from wedding cake, sitting on clouds looking down at his deeds, but yet never experiencing happiness itself. Clattering, reminiscent to that of the burglar alarms I once built with my little brother from empty cans of orange and grape crush, this clattering was a causation of the miserable German man cussing over the phone lines while sporadically dangling his dwarfed legs knocking around empties of DAB Original. This was the right place. Share a juicey (wink-wink) story with me if you want more. wtf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 i fixed it! ewww rental... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 if you give me crap, i give you crap. doi! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 no i fixed it! Its bar tricks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deterrent Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Rental- Seriously that was gold. Now make the juice squirt in your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 bar tricks is not a nice or funny message to my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 I thought this was about entertaining!!!? WTF?! I she could learn how to do bar tricks...THATS ENTERTAINING!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 its about messages to my sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 alright, i want to see what photo prize i can pull out of the grab bag.... dear rentals sister, that zip line looks fucking awesome. its really too bad the military is full of rigid assholes because a couple of zodiacs in the water and a keg could take that thing from functional to a one way ticket on the party express. seriously. how fun would that be? anyway, france sounds like fun. ive never been but if i were to take a trip i would be so full of wine a cheese that i wouldnt have any time or energy to do anything else. did you have some good cheese? i hope so. if not you should just lie and tell rental you did. it would probably make her jealous. oh, and if you happen to make it up near the arctic circle and find yourself in norway, dont bother picking up the new turbonegro album. its not really good enough to justify the kroner to dollar exchange. seriously, its hard to believe but im listening to it right now and am only feeling minimal amounts of rock. maybe they should start doing more hard drugs. well, im looking forward to hearing from you. hopefully you dont have to deal with too many "seaman" jokes. if i was a female in the navy i would probably get pretty annoyed with that. at least there is that village people song, "in the navy". im sure you can figure out how to use that as a tool to suggest homosexuality amongst your male counterparts. until next time, boogie hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 bravo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 mr hands: wow, slightly morbid, but okay...she was in norway. she went to stavanger and i had to look up stuff on the internet for her. you get my friend cherish who just got married! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 she appears to be crushing a walnut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 its true, she looks very tense there. i think the mister just caught her when she had a moment and was taking a deep breath in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 mr hands: wow, slightly morbid, but okay... hahhaha....yes!!! i turned the weirdness dial up to 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 here, lets up the weirdness level a little more: cherish was a virgin until that night. or maybe until they actually got to key west, but im betting it was that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 i write a wierd letter in the vein of a mentally unstable man-child and i get a picture of virgin in return. youre right....the weirdness level has been upped. ps - they didnt wait. key west isnt that special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rental Posted June 25, 2007 Author Share Posted June 25, 2007 hah. okay, um, i dont know if i can get any weirder than your post without delving into personal matters. wait wait wait! maybe i can. my mom has a dachshund named winnie: sometimes when we re over there, she comes and hangs out with me and abc on the couch. a smell wafts through the air and when i recognize it, i usually notify abc of what it is: doggie vagina. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Dear Rental's Sister, Navy? My grandfather was in the seabees during ww2. He used to tell me the seabees had the best food because they would rob the officers stash when the ships came onto his island, not so long ago I got comformation of this from an old naval officer. The story goes that they found an old Duck left over from the invasion and they repaired it in secret. On day they decided when a battleship came in that they where going to get some better food then the rations they had been eating. So they snuck onto the ship and robbed the commanders personal stash of food which included steak and other meat. The ship left the next day and no one was the wiser. He has alot of great stories, I'm sure you have some good stories too. You should pass them along. I hope you enjoy your tour and that its not too stressful. Be safe. Sincerely, MAR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayabusa Posted June 25, 2007 Share Posted June 25, 2007 Dear Rental's Sister I don;t know you, and you probably don't know me, but HI whats up? I really enjoyed seeing your pictures. I can't imagine what it must be like to be on a ship for that long and more or less travel around the world. I guess it is true what they say...join the navy, see the world...etc are navy men really feminine? anyways, I hope that we here at teh Oz. are entertaining you and helping your time aboard the vessel pass by quicker and more easily. When I get some time, and if I don't forget I'll draw you something super cool. Anyways, i look forward to seeing some more cool photos from your journey, hope all is well, and so on. Rental is cool too i guess. Well, thats it for now, peace out -Hayabusa hey rental, does your sister actually answer back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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