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psm026

11 HOE STATS

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11. "The Undercover Hoe" - This type of hoe often goes unnoticed in the community, and can only be detected by the trained eye. She holds down a decent job during the day, but is secretly hoeing around with at least 5 different trifling men. Two of these men are married, and at least one of these men is dating her best friend.

 

10. "The Church Hoe" - Her hair and nails are always done. This hoe is in church every Sunday and, carries a Bible with her at all times, but spends Tuesday through Saturday night of every week in a different club. She is sometimes mistaken for the Undercover Hoe.

 

9. "High Class Hoe" - (also known as the "Glamour Hoe") - This type of hoe rocks Prada and Versace, and only dates players, ballers, and shot callers. She is most often the cause of some fights in a club (i.e. Source Awards). She tries to act like she's got class but confuses regular English with Ebonics. She also has trouble with simple arithmetic.

 

8. "Old Hoe" - The OLD' Hoe used to be tight "in her day," and thinks she still looks good for her age." She tries to wear all of the VOGUE fashions, thinking that she will blend in with the rest of the hunnies. You can find her at any club on any given night, grinding on the dance floor during any song, with any man, of any age.

 

7. "Nasty Hoe" - This hoe has not exactly been blessed in the looks department, but is usually very popular with the men for her other talents. Most often, she has a "tight" body and can be found working in a strip club.

 

6. "Sneaky Hoe" - The sneaky hoe cannot be trusted in anyone's home or with anyone's man. Money and other personal items "turn up missing" not long after she's gone. She is always "dipped" and can never remember where she's purchased the coveted item of clothing. The Sneaky Hoe aspires to be Undercover Hoe but, has already made too many enemies by stealing.

 

5. "Bourgeios Hoe" - This type of hoe is educated and a professional woman with many credits to her name, she dresses well and has a sophisticated circle of friends. To the outside, these women are perfect, however these Hoes have multiple partners and sleep with married men like "Undercover Hoe," perpetrate on Sunday like "Church Hoe," get played by men just like "Stupid Hoe," obsessed with name brands and status like "High Class Hoe," and best of all... Bourgeois Hoe looks down on all the other Hoes.

 

4. "Project Hoe" - This Hoe is living ghetto faboulous, squeezing money and trinkets out of her drug dealing "babies daddies." She likes to fight, and you will most often hear her before you see her.

 

3. "Stupid Hoe" - She is usually very cute. The Stupid Hoe keeps a string of men who constantly come over after midnight for booty calls. They often return to eat her food, watch her cable, and borrow her car and/or money. She complains about them to her friends (i.e., Sneaky Hoe and Project Hoe but, never does anything about it.

 

2. "Crazy Hoe" - This is a popular hoe. Although she is very smart, the Crazy Hoe is virtually an upgrade from the Stupid Hoe. She has the same terrible luck with men, but unlike the Stupid Hoe, she seeks revenge. Her areas of expertise include slashing tires, keying cars, making prank calls from unlisted numbers, visiting the trifling man (or other Hoes) jobs, and appearing on Judge Mathis for any of the aforementioned activities.

 

1. "The Stank Hoe" - This is perhaps the most popular Hoe of them all. the Stank Hoe has appeared on shows such as Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. She has eluded herself into believing that she is beautiful, and she sleeps with everyone to justify it. Her choice of wardrobe most often includes spandex (of every color), bra tops, and stripper shoes. She has a permanent "unwashed" look about her that cannot be removed with any amount of water or soap.

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YOU GOTTA ASK HER IF THAT BITCH GOT A PLAN

LIKE "YO BITCH, YOU GOT A PLAN?"

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Iono about you, but generally if I know my girlfriend is one of the above...well, then she's not my girlfriend

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