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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

$429

 

 

NEXT

 

thanks tho tess.

i prob wont buy one. i'll "buy" one. (is that how you do that? haaha)

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

http://www.tweaper.com/

 

What is Tweaper? Tweaper is a generic ini files tweaking utility for games. Tweaper was designed to let you improve your games performance and quality, as-is, and save you the costs of buying expensive new hardware. Download ready-to-use tweaks packages and apply them to the game by point & click, without manually editing the files. Keep track of what you changed and easily go back. Tweaper helps you avoid spending time searching the internet for tweaks and saves you expensive hardware money.

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

A Few Words From Tech Support

 

1. Don't write anything down. We can play back the error messages from here.

2. When a tech says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing to us to remember 481 screen saver passwords.

3. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and Popsicle art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. Don't put your phone extension in your emails to the help desk. We need to keep an eye on the address book performance.

6. When tech support sends you an email with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing the public groups.

7. When a tech is eating lunch in his cube, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

8. When a tech is having a smoke outside, ask him a computer question. The only reason why we smoke at all is to ferret out those clients who don't have email or a telephone line.

9. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

10. When you call a tech's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an email straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. After all, you're entitled to common courtesy.

11. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

12. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your line from here.

13. When you have a dozen CGA monitors to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

14. When some

ame, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

15. If you hate your mouse, get some other pointing device and discard the manual. We know all the keyboard accelerators.

16. When a tech tells you that computer monitors don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

17. When you get a message about insufficient disk space, delete everything in the Windows directory. It's nothing but trouble anyway.

18. When you get a message about a hard disk controller failure, and then you reboot and it looks okay, don't call tech support. We'd much rather troubleshoot it when it's dead as a doornail.

19. When you have a tech on the phone walking you through changing a setting, read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to do anything. We just love to hear ourselves talk.

20. When a tech tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That'll get us going.

21. If you have a 14-inch monitor that says VGA on it, set the display to true color, 1024 x 768. You'll never again have to worry about people reading confidential files over your shoulder.

22. When we offer training on the upcoming OS upgrade, don't bother. We'll be there to hold your hand after it's done.

23. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

24. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the building. One of them is bound to work.

25. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy's outta whack".

26. Don't use online help. Online help is for wimps.

27. If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for your all your co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime money.

28. When a tech makes popcorn, help yourself while he's checking out your access rights. And we keep chocolate in the top drawer, too.

29. When you have a tech fixing your computer at a quarter past noon, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when slightly dizzy.

30. Don't ever thank us. We're getting paid for this.

31. If you're an intern, feel free to bring in all your friends from college and have your Daddy complain to our boss when we won't let them use the scanner. We had no friends when we were in college; that's why we're such a bunch of tight-assed little twerps.

32. When a tech asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie. It's nothing's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a tech's chair with no nbody's business what you've got on your computer.

33. When a tech finds the AOL shortcuts in your Recycle Bin, tell him you've never seen those before. We couldn't tell bullshit if it kicked us in the face.

34. If you have NT, feel free to change the local administrator's password to "blowjob" and promptly forget it. We like installing NT.

35. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 45 lbs. of computer sitting on top of them.

36. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

37. When you receive the new Yanni CD for your birthday, shove it into any slot on the front of your computer. We like getting physical with 5.25 floppy drives.

38. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?", click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

39. When you find a tech on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

40. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

41. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call tech support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

42. When you can't find someone in the government directory, call tech support. Due to budget restrictions, we double as 411.

43. When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call tech support. We love to hack.

44. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know jack shit about the problem.

45. When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We got lots of disk space on that mail server.

46. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

47. When your eyes fall on the family pictures on a tech's desk, exclaim in a flabbergasted tone of voice: "YOU have a child?!?" We need to be reminded of how lucky we were to ever have gotten laid.

48. When a tech gets on the elevator pushing 15,000 kilograms worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that cracks us up no end.

49. When the Finance folks are printing a 100-page spreadsheet on the LaserJet, send your black and white print job to the color printer. We get the black toner for free.

50. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire department. People out in Yellowknife like to keep abreast of what's going on.

51. When you bump into a tech at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We don't do weekends.

52. When you see a tech having a beer with a member of the opposite sex on a Friday night, walk right up to them and ask a computer question. We don't do dating; the reason why we have that horny look on our faces is because we're discussing the new Intel processor.

53. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature in NT 4.0; they won't be doing anything useful until the next major release.

54. When you can't access some shared directory on your boss's machine, just tell us that you've lost your X: drive. We know all that shit by heart.

55. If you need to buy a computer for your daughter in college, feel free to pick our brains while we're taking a leak. We're good at talking shop with our dicks in our hands.

56. If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual Basic 6.0 makes your Access 95 database flip out.

57. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find the jumper settings on the Internet.

58. We're aware of that problem with computers just sitting there and not doing anything. We're confident that with the next service pack they'll be able to dance the jig.

59. The correct location to store important files is the Recycle Bin. It's just like a real office, where you keep your tax receipts in the blue can under your desk.

60. If you curse every morning when you start to type your password and the Virus Shield splash screen pops up in your face, disable the Virus Shield. Again, this is just like real life: if you don't like condoms, just don't use them, that's all.

61. If you hate PCs, get on the Internet and download one of those desktop enhancements that make your computer look just like a Mac, down to the sad faces replacing verbose error messages. We find it refreshing to troubleshoot the nuances in that sad little face instead of some cold forbidding hexadecimal integer.

62. When you detect a French accent in a tech's voice, switch to French. We don't mind that your level of fluency is that of a mildly retarded 4-year-old; you don't make a whole lot of sense in your own mother tongue either.

63. We don't really believe that you're a bunch of ungrateful twits. It hurts our feelings that you could even think such a thing. We wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of clueless losers portrayed herein, without whom none of this would have been remotely possible.

64. Have you ever wondered what Tech Support does while you are on hold? Think about how long it takes to write a 64 point memo!

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

Problemo..........

When playing in an mp3 im having weird problems with audio volume. It happens both in windows media and real player. i havent tried any others.

 

Basically if i set the volume to a low volume on the player and play a song all is well, but if i switch to a different part of the song the volume suddenly comes out full volume but the player still says its down low. and then if i bring the volume back up on the player, the sound comes out muffled and quiet until i click to a different part of the song. then it goes back to proper volume.

 

I dont know if this is to do with my speakers or what.... occasionly the sound distorts a bit as if there is a loose connection but i dont think there is one.

 

I probably didnt explain that too well... anyone got a clue?

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

PC Support

Get all your Windows, Hardware, Networking, and software support questions answered here

 

PC Tips and Tricks, Modding

 

Linux/Unix Support

Get all your Linux/Unix questions answered here

 

Linux/Unix Tips and Tricks

 

Mac Support

Get all your mac questions answered here

 

Mac Tips and Tricks

 

Electronics

Get all your questions on MP3 players, Digital Cameras, Digital Video Cameras, TV's, etc. answered here

 

hey for the viewers what the hell do you want to see posted here add yer comments

 

What Do You Want To See Here

 

Computer Graphics

Computer Hardware

Computer Security

Computers

Cyberculture

Databases

Embedded Systems

Encryption

Firefox

Hacking

IT

Instant Messaging

Internet

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Linux/Unix

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Perl

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Webhosting

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

Problemo..........

When playing in an mp3 im having weird problems with audio volume. It happens both in windows media and real player. i havent tried any others.

 

Basically if i set the volume to a low volume on the player and play a song all is well, but if i switch to a different part of the song the volume suddenly comes out full volume but the player still says its down low. and then if i bring the volume back up on the player, the sound comes out muffled and quiet until i click to a different part of the song. then it goes back to proper volume.

 

I dont know if this is to do with my speakers or what.... occasionly the sound distorts a bit as if there is a loose connection but i dont think there is one.

 

I probably didnt explain that too well... anyone got a clue?

 

 

do a test

 

go to the run box and type dxdiag

 

run the test see if everything is good

 

might be the soundcard (never heard of the problem) might be the way you explained it

 

 

 

do your speakers have a volume control

 

do you run your volume from the keyboard

 

while playing music open up your volume controls double click the speaker on your taskbar (startmenu)

 

play music and see if any of the bars move by themselves

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

Think Centrino technology is only for notebooks? Think again. An Intel presentation partially leaked onto the web this week makes clear the next generation of the platform, codenamed 'Santa Rosa', will also be pitched at desktops when it's introduced "mid-Q1 to mid-Q2 2007".

'Desktop' is not quite the right word, of course, as we're talking living room systems. Crucially, the slides - posted by Chinese-language site HKEPC - claim Santa Rosa will "enable form-factor innovation", allowing manufacturers to offer Viiv-style entertainment PCs and ultra-sleek and mini systems for the home.

 

According to Intel's slides, Santa Rosa will deliver better acoustics - good for silent or near-silent systems - and enable thinner form-factors. The company admits the motherboard costs will be higher - approximately $95.88 to the $77.76 a board based on current Centrino technology costs - but with passive cooling and a superior integrated graphics core, overall system costs will be lower.

But why is form-factor so important? The slides say Intel-commissioned market research from September 2005 suggests that, after price, box size is the second most important factor in consumers' buying criteria. Branding comes third, with - surprise, surprise - the processor top of the list of component brands buyers look for.

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

Man clocks Pentium Extreme to 5GHz

27th April 2006 09:44 GMT

 

Japanese enthusiasts have been treated to a demo of an Intel Pentium Extreme Edition 965 chip running at over 5GHz, a frequency 35.8 per cent higher than the part was designed to be clocked to. The chip usually runs at just 3.73GHz.

 

A peek inside the casing reveals Danish cooling specialist Asetek's VapoChill Extreme Edition II refrigeration system, using to pull the CPU temperature down to a mere 5°C. The 65nm, dual-core, HyperThreading-enabled 965 is fitted onto a standard Intel D975XBX motherboard.

 

According to a report on Japanese-language site Akiba PC Watch, which covered the demo, the CPU's voltage needs to be dropped from 1.5V to 1.42V before it can be overclocked to the 5.066GHz.

 

vapochill_1.jpg

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

British shirt-maker Thomas Pink has begun selling a limited edition tie with an integrated iPod holder, the better to allow City gents to groove to their favourite beat combos as they battle their way to work every morning.

 

The £49 ($86) tie is bright red - ideal, perhaps, for the much-rumoured red AIDS-awareness iPod - and made from silk and nothing else. On the back is a small pocket in which to place the player, and there's a handy cable tidy a little further up, closer to the knot.

 

Dubbed the Commuter Tie, the accessory is also available in navy and the company's trademark pink.

 

pink_tie.jpg

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

If you sell your iPod and don't remove your music first, you could find yourself with the Recording Industry Ass. of America (RIAA) breathing down your back. The organisation last week told sellers in the US that doing so is a clear violation of copyright law and warned them that it's sniffing out for infringers.

 

Apple's rapid iPod refresh schedule, not to mention those of its competitors, have generated a tide of old music player offers in classified ads columns and on sites like eBay. Rather too many sellers are shipping their old machines with music libraries intact - some we've seen even make a virtue of the fact.

 

But it's illegal, not only in the US but also in the UK and the rest of Europe. As, incidentally, is ripping all your CDs and LPs to MP3 then selling or even giving away the originals. By disposing of your physical media, you're ending your right to use the music they contain. The RIAA's point, made in an MTV online report is that handing over music on a music player is no different from duplicating a CD and selling the copy.

 

The only way around the problem is to either erase the iPod, or make sure it ships with only copies of the music - downloads if that's how they were obtained, or the original physical media. And don't keep copies yourself.

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/6271.html#

macs and viruses...hehe.

 

 

www.the-underdogs.info

abandond ware gamez. these guys are the kings

 

mac's have always been vulnerable to virsus and the like. it's just the world is 99% windows/pc based, so the people writing these viruses are of course, going to go for the mass.

 

it is my outlook that more people are switching to mac's, so there is probably going to more more viruses written for the apple os

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Re: «<< 12Oz Computer Tech Support >>>

 

maxell_dvd.jpg

 

Using an innovative nanoimprint technology, Hitachi Maxell, LTD have succeeded in creating the world’s thinnest DVD media at 0.092mm thick. This makes the new disc approximately 1/13th the thickness of existing DVD media, yet allows it to retain the full 4.7Gb capacity. Obviously a single disc isn’t going to gain you any benefits simply by being thinner, but if you were to take a stack of say 100-discs, make them double-sided (9.4Gb), stuff them into a cartridge 2.5-inches thick, and slap a fancy acronym like SVOD on it, you’d have a digital library cartidge with almost 1TB of capacity (940 MB Gb). SVOD, which stands for Stacked Volumetric Optical Disc, really starts to shine when coupled with the next generation of blue laser technology, as a stack of 50Gb discs could increase storage capacity to 5TB.

 

When released the discs will be priced at under $325 for a 100-disc cartridge.

 

 

 

wtf is the point its already a pain in the ass to get dvd's out of the case without cracking them these bend like a piece of paper stick them on a desk and a wind gust comes there goes 5/10 gb worth of information

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