I was a teenage asshole.

[imported_YEAHMANWORD]

After reading these stories, I'm pretty shocked that I haven't seen more appauling shit.

 

I think the wildest story so far goes to Frate Raper & Fermentor. He had more laughing out loud with that part about the cake batter.

 

Here's one of the stupidest things I've ever been involved in.

 

I grew up in Queens, NY until 1993. We moved out to Long Island the summer before going into 5th grade. Up until that point, I was a model student....straight A's....the whole nine. I was getting invited to places in Manhattan to take tests and all sorts of shit. Kind of like that movie Little Man Tate. Anyway, I fell in with the local crew of hooligans almost immidiately. Anywhere we went was pretty much garaunteed to turn into a fucking melee.

 

Our chill spot was called "The Trestle". Well yeah it was a fucking train trestle in the woods that the Long Island Rail Road went over. There was a decent size stream that ran underneath. It was all the rain water and shit from the streets & highway nearby. We would go back there and just do what eighth grade boys do...light shit on fire, set off fireworks, throw shit off it and just basically shoot the shit with each other for hours on end.

 

 

Fast Forward to a gorgeous Saturday in April of 1997. School is winding down and we're all excited about going to high school in the fall and shit. About 8 of us are skating some grammar school in the neighborhood next to ours. It's a real nice day out and at about 1:30pm, we decide to go up to this luncheonette a few blocks away for a couple of sodas and what have you. I didn't think anything of it at the time...and I also think I was the only one who noticed.....that that library across the street from the school was giving away free books, magazines, and VHS tapes. They were all stacked up on a big hand cart right on the front stairs.

 

So we go up to eat, and upon walking out, I see an empty shopping cart sitting on the corner. Sparks start shooting off in my brain and I came up with the most moronic idea ever.

 

"Hey guys! Let's take this cart, we'll fill it with all those books and magazines....and light it on fire! Then we'll throw the thing off the top of the trestle!" You should've seen the look on my friends faces. It was priceless. The eight of us immidiately take off for the library like giddy school girl faggots. We get to the library and walk the cart up the stairs to where all the books are. We fill it to the brim and it took three of us to lift. Looking back, that fucker mustve weighed 200lbs. I'm talking fucking outdated musty encyclopedias.

 

We start walking up to the street we have to go down and we see a group of these three scumbags. These 2 white kids Danny and John and their boy Jerrel or something. So of course they want in on the action and walk along with us. Now we see 4 more of our boys up the street and what eighth grader wouldn't wanna tag along for this shit?.

Picture 14 eighth graders heading down the street with a shopping cart full of books and magazines. I could see in peoples faces that they just knew we were up to no good.

 

We finally get to where the street ends and we've gotta drag this thing through about 100 yards of fucking soggy grass and mud. So the whole time we're having a blast....falling in the mud, hitting eachother with the books....you know, just the gang having some laughs. We finally get to the foot of the trestle and its a 20 foot embankment thats made up of loose rocks. So we try to drag it up and we keep sliding back down cause it was so fucking heavy. All in all it took about 15 minutes before we finally got it up. I think I pissed my pants from laughing so hard too.

 

So the cart is at the top and someone pulls out a lighter and we're ready for the pinnacle of our pyrotechnic careers. But I take one look at some houses off in the distance and say "Yo lets move this thing to the other side of the tracks...those houses might notice the fire and call the cops." So of course everyone is in agreement. After all.....it was a logical idea.

 

So five of us lift it up and we're all fucking straining to keep this thing from dropping and tipping over.

 

We're moving inch by inch. We get on top of the tracks and it gets to a point where I'm standing on the rail cover to the electrified 3rd rail.

 

This is it.

 

It was like an epiphany. We all look up and for a split second we all see the fucking fear in each others eyes.

 

The cart drops and connects with the live 3rd rail and one of the tracks and I shit you not i got knocked right on my fucking ass. I look up and see fucking lightning bolts shooting out in every direction and fucking fireballs flying around. It was wild. Me and scumbag Danny were the only kids that were on the far side of the tracks so we scrambled to our feet and ran down the other side of the trestle and had no choice but to slog through 2 feet of dirty polluted rainwater.

As I'm running through i see everyone already off in the distance running their fucking asses off. I emerge from the other side and look back to see flames fucking 20 feet high shooting out of the cart.

We catch up to everyone else and at this point half of us are in shock and the other half looked like they were about to cry.

 

Long story short, we all watched the 5 & 6 o clock news for anything relating to the incident. None of us saw anything about "Passenger Train Derails....Idiot Youths Believed To Be Involved!". So a few of us went back at around 7 and all we found was charred books scattered everywhere, a big gouge in the third rail, and a fucking blast radius of charred rocks, wood, and train track.

 

Sorry that took so long.

[bodice_ripper]

I was that fat girl all the other posts talk about torturing. I was lucky that I was in an all girls school, but there were maybe 7 lads on the bus in the morning who used to give me endless shit about it. I ignored them. And then they started the same shit with me little sister.

 

I flipped out. I still can't really remember it happening. I jumped up and went for one guy's face, and I clawed it up really bad. the rest of the way to school he had a huge wad of tissues trying to stem the bleeding. His parents' tried to come after me for assault, but he shot himself in the foot by claiming to anyone who wasn't there that he had been attacked by 4 big lads.

 

It was horrible, he didn't heal up completely for about 8 months. When I got to school that day i had lumps of skin under my nails and blood all over my uniform....

[Frate_Raper]

That whole story is REAL,I wouldn't lie about being an asshole.I left some of the best shit out because it will give my where abouts and personal info out.

 

 

THE FIGHT WHERE I BROKE HOMIES FACE IS ON FILM!

[imported_YEAHMANWORD]

give me more stories

[Frate_Raper]

In the 8th grade my other fat friend and I found our schools CHOIRS brand new sweaters,they were like those 1050's sweaters with the school logo on the side.

 

 

We put them on and would flex our guts and rip the buttons off,or rip the backs out,what ever was funny ya know.We went through two whole boxes.

 

So this assembly is called,at said assembly they offer up a 100 bones to rat on whom ever did this,the school had a some sing off thing and bought those sweaters as a surprise to the choir club and when they went to the singing comp they opened the boxes to find them trashed!

 

 

we laughed so hard...the kids were crying and the money the school spent on them was fundraiser cash HAHA

[bobthebuilder]

AT 16 i prank called this one kids house who I knew, I told them that their son shot my son and my son was in the hospital and I was going to sue them. His mother bought it, called the cops on him, he got stopped infront of a house at gunpoint, he had weed and a pipe on him. He got sent to rehab and he got into a whole bunch of shit. It was funny.

[flippingreat]

Frate raper make a book lol, nice thread . . :D