Jump to content

The Nonsense thread


Overtime

Recommended Posts

This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.

http://img5.photobucket.com/albums/v15/Cluetwo/12oz/connections.jpg'>

 

Mama, I'm Coming Home

 

Times have changed and times are strange

Here I come, but I ain't the same

Mama, I'm coming home

Times gone by seem to be

You could have been a better friend to me

Mama, I'm coming home

 

Took me in and you drove me out

Yeah, you had me hypnotized

Lost and found and turned around

By the fire in your eyes

 

You made me cry, told me lies,

But I can't stand to say goodbye

Mama, I'm coming home

I could be right, I could be wrong

Hurts so bad, it's been so long

Mama, I'm coming home

 

Selfish love yeah we're both alone

The ride before a fall

But I'm gonna take this heart of stone

I just got to have it all

 

I've seen your face a hundred times

Everyday we've been apart

I don't care about the sunshine, yeah

 

'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home

I'm coming home

 

You took me in and you drove me out

Yeah, you had me hypnotized

Lost and found and turned around

By the fire in your eyes

 

I've seen your face a thousand times

Everyday we've been apart

I don't care about the sunshine, yeah

 

'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

Link to comment
Share on other sites

instructions for the ladies

 

click below and instead of saving, open so it can play, and read along as the music plays

 

HERE

 

now, ease back baby. let black jebus take control of the situation. black jebus is down on his kness for ya, darlin'

http://www.musefinds.com/AnAfroKinStore/BlackFigurines/287PrayingJesus_TN.jpg'>

black jebus just wants you to know that he can't get enough of your love, baby

http://www.kyloui.ang.af.mil/artphoto/begging.jpg'>

don't make black jebus beg. c'mon, now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dear john the southern baptist.

i have an alcohol substance abuse program meeting this week, but my friend wants me to go to florida for a week of binge drinking and sex with fat chicks. what do you think i should do?

my friend and yours,

bill

 

Dear William,

 

Your life is nothing more than a boiling cauldron of sin. You make an honest God fearing man such as myself cry a little inside. Your cohorts at AA need to reject their crutch of their liberal pandering, and accept our Lord Jesus into their lives. The drink is Satan's will, and he will have his way with you, and your Godless heathen support system. And William, a night of mindblowing sin with hefty women will

not bring your dead mother back. Our Lord Jesus does smile upon your good will towards fat chicks, but you are a sinner that will burn in eternal hellfire nonetheless. I recommend a public declaration of your acceptance of Jesus, followed by a reckless act, preferably that ends with you dying. Also, try O'Doules. It's really not a bad alternative for a damned alchoholic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it's time for (drum roll)

 

FUN AND INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT THE VAGINA !!!!!!!

(commentary provided by: casek)

 

 

Average Depth of a Vagina: between 3 to 6 inches. (neat!)

Largest Vagina: the female blue whale with a normal length of 6 to 8 feet. (oh my gosh!)

Largest Human Vagina: belonged to a woman who was 7'8" tall. (haha)

Smallest Vagina: 2 or 3 centimeters - surgery is required for correction. (they shoulda left it alone so tease could have sex)

Longest Clitoris: recorded at 4½ inches long and 1½ inches diameter. (another tease reference could be made)

Longest Labia Minora: some African tribes enlarge their labia to 7 inches in length. (my god! why?)

Largest Buttocks: Hottentot tribe have buttocks that each can be two or three feet. (a place for the ashtray and multiple beers)

Largest Breasts: 44-pounds breasts measuring 33 inches in circumference. (satan must exist)

Most Breasts: In 1886 a french woman was recorded with ten individual breasts. (if only she were a stripper...and a midget, that would be more interesting)

Most Orgasms: 134 in one hour for a woman - 16 for a man. (women always lie)

Longest Recorded Orgasm: 43-seconds with 25 consecutive contractions. (i can vouch for this, i was there)

Longest Recorded Pubic Hair: 28" (71.12 cm) long. (don king?)

 

 

 

*According The Solitary Vice, a book for doctors that came out in the 1890s, women who masturbate tend to eat a lot of foods containing mustard and vinegar.

 

*According to the Hite Report, candles are the artificial device used more frequently by women when masturbating. (wax on, wax off)

 

*The vagina and the eye are self-cleaning organs (what about people who wear contacts?)

 

*Having an orgasm relieves menstrual cramps because the vigorous

muscle action moves blood and other fluids away from congested organs.(no more excuses, ladies)

 

*The modern psychiatric definition of nymphomaniac is a woman who cannot experience sexual satisfaction regardless of the number of orgasms or partners she has.

 

*A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.(no more excuses!)

 

*It is ancient legend that Cleopatra of the Nile had 2 orgasms a day and manufactured her diaphragm our of cow dung.(no comment)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...