One Man Banned

One spot we had an online rolodex with people's pictures included. The pics were pretty unflattering, made worse if you had worked there a bit and styles had changed since your pic. I'd print out people's pics and load them into the copy machine. I'd also print pics, touch them up with a sharpie, and then put them in the copier.

One place I worked, we would get these sandwiches sent over from the kitchen/cafeteria, pretty plain deli meat on a grinder roll, but free. Anyhow, if someone was busy when they arrived I would occasionally slip a maxi pad into someone's sandwich. More phone pranks: being able to see where people sat I would call their phone the day after we had ordered out food, like Thai food. I'd do a stupid accent and be like "You order Thai food yesterday? Why you no give driver good tip?!" Totally have the person off guard and defending themself before they would be like "wait, OMB? Is this you?!" And they'd turn and see me on the phone laughing at them. When people started catching on to my phone hijinks by catching that it was my extension calling them, I found that I could dial out for an outside line, then just call the main number at work and put in the person's extension. It would look like a call coming from outside work and they'd pick up every time.

Standard was always dropping the height on people's adjustable chairs down to the lowest, made a lot of people fall back into their seats on that. One place we used to put lotion or similar inside the earpiece of the phone. Because the bathroom was nearby I put some more on the door handle so the person would get it again, and also on the inner door handle so they got it a third time on the way out. At another spot I could see everyone at their own desk, and I would put lotion in the earpiece of their phone and then call them. Also being able to see where people were relative to their phone, I would call a person's extension and then hang up right as they got there. Then when they walked away I'd repeat. Even better with people who tend to rush to their phone or when someone's coming in with their hands full etc., etc. Too many to type out right now.

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This afternoon's potato salad has left me farting all day