SMdoubleXL

This made up ass graphic I found online is a fair representation of mental state and how it can quickly fluctuate for those who aren’t healed or balanced correctly. (Like myself) The upward motion is always more difficult but when you’re flyin high, you’re really flying high and thriving! But the downward spiral happens quick and heavy and feels impossible to crawl out of. I have fallen in that hole about 3 times in the last 6 yrs. Those 6 years have been the sober years after 16 yrs of opioids misuse those 3 times I can remember vividly. -I went to walk off a bridge -I asked for my dudes gun -I had no plans I just know I didn’t want to be here anymore all 3 times I had to push my mental soooo fucking far to the front to convince myself that 24HOURS CHANGES SO MANY THINGS and to sleep it off. As much as my soul and my heart are depleted I know it’s the wrong move. I take anything I can to knock me out ( some advil pm or NyQuil. Benedryl. Idc. As long as it sleeps me. I put my earbuds in to a song on repeat that makes me think of my daughter, I curl up in the corner of the bed and bawl myself to sleep. becaue at that moment she is the ONLY thing keeping me here. I don’t know who I’ve ever shared that with but here we are on an open forum. I have a great life looking in. And I’m the typical “strong friend”. But I can distinctly recall three hugs that someone reached out to me and said “can I hug you?” Those hugs were incredibly poignant. 3. Since 2020. And the few that check in. I’ll be forever grateful for you @mr.yuck im usually the hugger. The cheerleader. The vibey one. The “.you got this” or “how can I help you get through this” one my uncle commited suicidal at 45 my gramma rested herself peacefully at 56 One aunt went “missing’ and was found deceased with ‘natural causes’ at 55 (victim on a case which aired on “America’s Most Wanted” several years prior) other aunt had heart failure at 57 mother is still alive at 68 (not sure of health. Haven’t spoke in 20 yrs) she has outlived any previousq family member. We were mad at my uncle. SO MAD!! how selfish! (He left a family) And then suddenly you have your back against the wall and you feel there is really No. Other. Choice. People have often mentioned when I’m being standoffish that they just let me be and they create distance. This is probably the worst thing to do when you sense that. go hug someone.

Those are cool plants. Lovin everyone’s gardens!!!

Throat Sphincter 🤷🏻‍♀️ Honest inquiry here that I will never be able to figure the answer out on my own does it feel the same/react the same to the penis?

thank you It’s not all bad. It’s just a lot. also I just opened my 2nd work comp claim at work because my hands are numb 75% of the time now so screen time has been majorly compromised

Y’all! This life bullshit is for the birds!!! but for real. It’s nice to be thought of I’ll lay low for a bit but I’ll never leave!!

I’m diggin the whack a mole concept but I would probably just stare it until it got uncomfortable or try to poke something inside it’s hole idk Ask it to pay rent? but in the end I would probbaly ask owner to follow up with sticking his finger through the hole to see if my nail bed/penis size theory still holds.

Every bit of it reminds me summertime in my home town of Roosevelt, Utah. in the backseat of a blue Malibu—cigarette smoke blowin in my face hahaha

This is one of them

we’ve had this on at work all week You can only imagine the music that is stuck in my head.

you can see him and his red back pack to the far right/middle of this photo IMG_4390.MOV

We checked in to the above place and went a few miles away to China Ranch Date Farm to walk some of the Amargosa river trail. read somewhat recently that someone stole the China Ranch Sign above.

We just walked, smoked, climbed, shroomed, and dipped in the springs. Stayed one night. i def recommend if you’re gonna be nearby to stay a night. Worth a re charge/reset

Tecopa hot springs. Feb 2017 the Ultimate disconnect no service whatsoever and it was amazing good ole key for the room. (No card swiping) phone at the office if needed. this place had rooms, areas for tents, or RV pads since our visit. It has opened another (or two) motels/lodges, I believe. trails to walk. Small mounts to climb. rooms in the motel had another door inside which lead to a hallway with the hot spring tubs. Everyone was very respectful.

i must take a flik of this every time I visit LA.

2010

2010