DGK404

That isn't a Bitch Beer, this is a Bitch Beer. . . or rather a Beer Bitch, and a Bierbitzch. That is enough puns for a few months I reckon.

How to save money on batteries(watch and AAA) A23(12 volt) batteries contain 8(1.5 volt) batteries inside them which are typically used in watches. 9 volt batteries contain 6 AAAA batteries, AAAA are identical to AAA in voltage(1.5) but they are smaller which brings us to tip 2. If the contact piece on your remote control or other battery powered item is missing or loose, just wad up some aluminum foil and put it in between the battery to make the contacts connect again.

In the movie American Me JD plays with one leg, and the majority of the kids would play even after getting anally raped the night before because they weren't pussies. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I4xq1cQ_ig

Mail prank http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng56DVOxCTs Ferrofluid http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=me5Zzm2TXh4

How many empties did it take before you could max out at 100?

Jehovah's witnesses catch me when I just got home from school and am trying to relax.

^Last Friday night he sat on his right hand for an hour then dipped it in a bucket of ice, then gave himself a stranger to imitate the sensation of someone else jacking him off.

^Right hand is visibly bigger than his left hand from 15 feet away, because he jacks off that much.

Apparently you can die from drinking eye drop solutions, so I would stick with the liquid laxative solution, and actually read the warning labels on used products, before you attempt to lace someones drink with it.

Fake good relations for about a week with them, then invite them to go to an event that will guarantee they will wear dresses. Then before "taking" them to said event drink some green tea with them at your house. . .lace their tea with extra strength laxative, and a squirt of some eye drop solution. Wait approximately one hour before leaving your house, then go through their purses and replace all their change with pennies, and take away their phones. Once in the car offer to massage their feet, and take off their shoes. Once you begin massaging their feet, have the driver stop the car, kick them out of the car with their purses, but keep their shoes. Drive away with the satisfaction of knowing that they have to walk home or to said event with a bad case of the hershey squirts in a short dress, and they are searching for quarters in their purses to call for help, but can only find pennies. Thus they will either have to walk miles back home and be ridiculed on the streets for their horrendous stench and appearance, or a short ways to your planned event in front of their peers to get help.

For one it appears that the sun is rising over a field of grass and clouds. So I'm guessing this guy has a messed up since of perspective and common sense.

^Watches the food network, and fantasizes about Paula Deen, and Guy Fieri rubbing pancake batter over his naked body.

Speaking of conserving resources in the bathroom. My friend told me his grandpa or uncle or someone either in WWII or Vietnam I forgot which (not relevant to the main story), told him a secret to make a roll of toilet paper last a few months. Your supposed to take a single sheet of TP, rip a hole in the center, then stick your finger through the hole. Next you insert said finger into your anus, pull out fecal residue, grab sheet of TP and pull sheet off your finger. The messed up part is I don't know if his source of info was joking or if he really had to do this when he served.

I'm garbage at keeping original pic's hair, so here is a quick crop and paste. Photobucket is sucking it up and posting excess white space that isn't in originial pic also.

In class we would use mechanical pencils to shoot staples at each other. Later we thought it was funny to dip the end of the staple in a glue stick, and shoot all the staples at one person's back so the entire day they would walk around with a load of purple staples sticking on their back and in their hair.

Nice, me and my neighbor and his little brother used to play with the exact same looking gun. They also had a wooden rifle, and two dual hammer pistols. We would fight over who got the rifle, then who got the sawed off shotgun. I always ended up getting the two dual hammer pistols and thought it was weak until I found out you could hold the right hammer down, pull the trigger and release the hammers one at a time. This resulted in everyone wanting the pistols to shoot off 4 rounds like a bad ass without tearing and reloading another sheet of cap gun paper. Also used to bust out the old super soakers every summer, every year they were more sunfaded and bore more marks of wear and tear but still worked as long as the main tank wasn't cracked, or the pump handle wasn't snapped off. I remember if we had a lot of kids we would either play a game type like a prison escape(kind of like reverse man hunt), where a few main people had super soakers and had to tag the escapees out with water, before they could make their way from my friends house all the way to our local park. Or if it was just me and my neighbors in his backyard we would do the classic, fully pumped everyone shoot straight up in different random directions, then run around like asses trying to dodge the water, or see who could find a spot to stand where they barely got hit by water. Those were some good times combined with the fact that his parents would get pissed off when we hit the house windows and sliding glass door, screaming at us to cut that shit out. Then we would stop and continue about a min later. I remember the days when we were young we could have fun with damn near any toy or natural item outside, and we didn't care what the weather was like we were still active, now myself and most kids just say screw playing outside, using the weather as an excuse. Props to Lonnie Johnson for inventing the supersoaker

^Forum name is derived from a life lesson he gained years ago in prison. He fell asleep before his cellmate did, therefore he ended up losing his butt virginity.

Leave a box of videos labeled "Chicks with Dicks" blatantly in the open next to your dvd player, and tell your house sitters feel free to watch any tv or movies they want to. Replace the room where they will be sleeping (if they are sleeping at your place) lights with a good black light, and either snap some glow stick tubes in half or get some washable glow in the dark substance and write Red Rum on at least one wall, or a giant pentacle. Replace every picture in your house with pictures of them. Piss in your toilet water tanks before you leave, so when they flush the bowl's water gets replaced with more urine. Leave a dark secluded closet slightly open and have a extension cord running to it with a shop light turned on in it. Then replace all of the inside objects with candles and a picture of a goat. Put a bunch of pictures of yourself in the bathroom.

^Can write your name on a piece of rice. . . using his ass.

The 360 version free, or is this pc/ps3 only?

^Parents dressed him up in his older sister's clothes for the first 10 years of his life to save money.