1.) ha the lotion? it's a good fucking moisturizer.....they don't produce as much grease as you white mother fuckers. ESPECIALLY you Italian peoples.
2.) Mayo? shit's nasty, son! hook up with some spicy mustard or a good cucumber sauce. it works well for anything you'd like that jizz cream on. you'll thank me later, i promise it.
3.) the attitude?.....eh, i'll give you that, but the crazy...? c'mon, ya'll know that WHITE GIRLS are the absolute craziest. they get stuck like white on rice. they are attached from the get-go. do not break up with a white girl or they will call all your family cryin and show up at your job and wait in the parking lot..... crazy fucking bitches!