the jagged kicks look out of place, and some of them just look plain bad
try and minimize the number of kicks and get a hold of some letter structure first
^^^ agreed
stick to something and work on it
you'll never get any better if you keep jumping about from word to word
stick to knews for a bit and see where you get with it
or just throw yourself out of a tenth story window
don't bring your pre pubescent angst on to 12oz
no one wants you, not even your parents
you're adopted, so tuck yourself in at night