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...tacos are good...(aka-astrology for 7/18)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Jul 13, 2001.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    ....three hours of sleep...i need all the help i can get....rOe

    ARIES (March 21-April 19)

    Would you cover your eyes to shut out the darkness? Of course not. Would you close your mouth to protest injustice? Hell, no. So please, Aries, as your need to be touched grows to fever-pitch intensity, don't stop reaching out. I'm not talking about begging and groveling. But the weird thing is that you will end up begging and groveling at a later date if you try to repress your awesome longings now. The best approach is to adapt the Goldilocks strategy: Find the middle ground between desperation and aloofness.


    TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

    What fun is your hard-earned stability unless every once in a while you bite off more than you can chew, dive in over your head, and drown your clich├ęs in a flood of outrageously mixed metaphors? I do want to warn you, however, as you warm to the fertile possibilities of sprawling and careening, to be a wise fool, not just a fool. Create a stunning new look without shaving off your eyebrows. Visit The Land That Time Forgot, but don't move in yet. Stick your tongue out at the world, but not while a Very Important Primate is checking you out.


    GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

    Karma, destiny, kismet: Whatever name you give to the mysterious workings of fate, it will soon bring you loads of luck if you reinvent your basic facts of life. It's an excellent time, in other words, to dream up new ways of walking, talking, eating, sleeping, laughing, and making love. To feel as freely experimental as you need to, you may have to go to a part of town where no one knows you. It's very important that you not get dragged back to boring reality by people with strong ideas about who you're supposed to be.


    CANCER (June 21-July 22)

    Since you first started your reincarnation cycle millennia ago, you've probably never had a more comfy lifetime than your current one. I can understand why you've opted for relative peace and quiet this time around, considering that in your past lives you endured so much in the way of war, poverty, natural disasters, and political tyranny. But I fear that maybe you've now gone a little too far in the direction of cozy convenience and soothing snugness, Cancerian. Luckily, my analysis of your astrological omens reveals that inspirational help is on the way. That's because the buried memories of all the explorers, gypsies, eccentrics, and mavericks you've been in previous incarnations are now bubbling up from their hiding places in your subconscious mind.


    LEO (July 23-Aug 22)

    Attention control freaks, authoritarian tyrants, and manipulative nice guys who think everyone should be like you: Give it up or else.
    Attention lack-of-control freaks, willing victims who collude with your tormentors, and passive-aggressive whiners who think you're better than everyone else on odd days and worse than everyone else on even days: Give it up or else.
    Attention everyone else, including especially you hard-working, fair-minded people who're always getting squeezed on one side by the control freaks and on the other side by the lack-of-control freaks: Give it up or else.


    VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22)

    During the next six months, I vow to prove to you that astrology is neither a science that can pinpoint the precise path of your evolution, nor an irrational belief system that obliterates your free will. Instead, I intend to show that it's a profound art form that can guide your choices by illuminating the hidden and unconscious factors at work in your life. As for what empowering promises you might make to yourself in the second half of 2001, Virgo, I'll suggest that the best way to begin will be to give up your attraction to crystalline certainty. The rest of the year will be about learning to love and thrive on ambiguity, not just tolerate it. Your challenge will be to make confident decisions without relying on tried-and-true formulas.


    LIBRA (Sept 23-Oct 22)

    This is the week before the turning point that could change your life. Five years from now, you may look back at the second half of July, 2001 as the moment when you finally got a definitive answer to the age-old question, "Am I really a brilliant and lovable work of art?" Curiously, though, Libra, the next few days could turn out to be even more important than the mythic time to come. You've heard the folk wisdom that says genius is two percent inspiration and 98 percent perspiration? Well if you hope to ride a tidal wave of inspiration in the immediate future, I suggest you sweat an ocean now.


    SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21)

    If you're thinking of trying to push the river to suit your moods and specifications, Scorpio, you'd better not go about it half-heartedly. Like hire an arsenal of giant bulldozers, for instance. Or appeal to a really skilled shaman to intercede on your behalf with the god of the river. Whatever you do, though, don't worry for a moment about getting inflamed with hubris. To be successful, you'll have to be a lean, mean, disciplined machine that's brimming with an almost over-the-top confidence.


    SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21)

    America's premier eventologist is Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith. One of the 1,200 new holidays she has created is Skeptics' Day, which occurs every Friday the 13th. This week's observance happens to coincide with the most heretical and rebellious phase of your own astrological cycle. I suggest you celebrate with a double dose of freethinking. Summon a strong dose of crisp, clean reason as you question everything you take on faith. And please don't forget to challenge your cynicism. Koopersmith suggests that you especially "examine those issues about which you are most skeptical, and be skeptical towards your skepticism." It's likely that your dark mistrust needs as much rational dissection as your sweet belief.


    CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19)

    The question of the week is this: What brand of bath soap will make you feel sexiest and heighten your confidence the most? Just kidding, kind of. . . . But it will be a rather lite week, Capricorn. Superficial appearances will count for too much. People around you will act as if boredom were an art form. You may be moved to learn new synonyms for the word "bland." Oh, there could be an apparent breakdown that's actually a breakthrough in your main relationship. And after much love talk disguised as convoluted arguments, you'll hopefully end up pelting each other with roses instead of garbage. But other than that, it'll probably be an excruciatingly normal week.


    AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18)

    I urge you to stir up a flurry of self-critique, Aquarius, but not an orgy of self-doubt. The object is to ease yourself out of your unconscious bad habits, not to pummel yourself for honest mistakes. As for which unconscious bad habit you might start with, may I suggest the glitch in the way you balance giving and taking? Fixing it will allow you to attract more love into your life. For inspiration, devour this poem, "The Sun Never Says," by the Sufi mystic poet Hafiz: "Even/ After/ All this time/ The sun never says to the earth/ 'You owe me.'/ Look/ What happens/ With a love like that,/ It lights up the/ Whole/ Sky."


    PISCES (Feb 19-March 20)

    No chickens should be allowed at the love feast you're invited to. No wimps, cowards, or sissies, either. We're talking about Brave New Love here, absolutely free of decisions based on guilt and fear. Please note, however, that "brave" does not mean reckless. Ten brash flirtations with 10 beautiful strangers would require less courage than what you'll need for one tender exploration at the poignant frontiers of intimacy.
  2. bic

    bic New Jack

    Joined: May 27, 2001 Messages: 57 Likes Received: 0
    ...you finally got a definitive answer to the age-old question, "Am I really a brilliant and lovable work of art?"...

    can't wait
  3. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    "Even/ After/ All this time/ The sun never says to the earth/ 'You owe me.'/ Look/ What happens/ With a love like that,/ It lights up the/ Whole/ Sky."

    oh gosh
  4. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    ...wanted to add the fact that on top of 3hrs, im hungover as fuck, and if any wants to piece a freight they are currently rumbling through my head like no tomorrow, and i think something died in my mouth last nite too...uncut coffebeans into the main line please...rOe
  5. jades_blue

    jades_blue Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 1,019 Likes Received: 0
    my my -- just the other day, the love of my life said I spoke in metaphors. Ones, that do not make sense...

    living in a land of dreams.. but lost in reality...
    where oh where can you be....
  6. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Thanks a lot R. mine ment a lot to me.
  7. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 3
    gosh it looks like i have to get some more confidence in me. hm, i wonder what's going to happen, but it better not ruin my friday the 13th dammit. lets see...."i'm a beautiful person, i'm a beautiful person, i'm a beautiful person....."
  8. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  9. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 3
    roe, you're too much for me! london baby yeaaaa.
  10. JSUN

    JSUN Guest

    nice topic name..

    na i'm just playin around..

    did u read my post or something?

    i ain't too big of horoscopes though..

  11. brown twinkie

    brown twinkie Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2001 Messages: 8,127 Likes Received: 0
    yea.....me too...i guess..............
  12. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    now ive got "age of aquarius" stuck in my head....bastard

    brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...
  13. jungle cat

    jungle cat Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 19, 2000 Messages: 3,453 Likes Received: 0
  14. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    ...bump cause mondays sucks...r