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ZENYTH.ASP

IMPORTANT note to all of my cave-mates,...Love Osama.

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Hi guys.

We've all be putting in long hours lately but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no 'I' in 'team'" as well as the one that says "Hang in there baby." That cat is hilarious.

 

However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. Frankly, I have a few concerns.

 

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.  I've posted a sign-up sheet at the main cave opening.

 

Second, it's not often I make a video address, but when I do I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping please don't use the Karaoke machine in the cave, the sound echoes ... just while we're taping. Thanks.

 

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

 

Fourth, food. I bought a box of Twinkies recently and clearly wrote "Osama" on the front and put it on the top shelf. Today my Twinkies were gone.  Consideration, that's all I'm saying.

 

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. The first patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar and Petey.

 

Love you lots.

 

Osama.

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Please poop in the LARGE holes or the buckets we provide. Apparently some of our sweeping volunteers are tired of scooping up 'piles'... I'm looking at you Ali Akbahr...

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Guest got tha feva

and if i catch one more of you looking at the full page spread of my sister's knee caps I will personally paddle you with a cactus until your testicles fall off! It's a Jihad people, get your damned minds out of the gutter.

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The Karaoke got me picturing that little bitch Osama singing "Heart of Glass" by Blondie in the back of a cave all drunk...

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Guest HESHIANDET

you guys get the "hello taliban...." movie?

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Guest Dusty Lipschitz

holy shit that was funny....

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Guest Dusty Lipschitz

here's one i found...

 

Taliban TV Guide

 

 

 

MONDAYS:

8:00 - "Husseinfeld"

8:30 - "Mad About Everything"

9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"

9:30 - "The Brian Benben bin Laden Show"

10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

 

TUESDAYS:

8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"

8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right"

9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things"

9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"

10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

 

WEDNESDAYS:

8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

8:30 - "When Northern Alliance Attacks"

9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"

9.30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"

10:00 - "Veilwatch"

 

THURSDAYS:

8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"

8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"

9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils"

9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"

10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"

 

FRIDAYS:

8:00 - "Judge Laden"

8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"

9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"

9:30 - "Akhmeds Creek"

10:00 - "No-witness News"

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Guest got tha feva

Re: here's one i found...

 

Originally posted by Dusty Lipschitz

9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"

 

 

hahahahahahaha oh shit, why was that the funniest thing ever..

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...heh heshster about dropping a link or forwarding that osama movie on to yours truly.....share the laff....gracias dood....

 

...duty thats some funny shit...my fav

 

"just shoot everyone" and ""Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things" ....lol....

 

r.

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