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boogie hands

a boogie hands consumer report

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http://www.nmk.co.za/products/beers/more/graphics/grolsch-keg.jpg'>

 

grolsch....good beer right? so what would be the problem with a 5 liter keg? a whole fucking lot.....

i bought this thinking it would be the best thing on earth....kind of like the 2 and a half gallon water jugs you buy at the store. just open up the fridge, pull on the tap, fill your glass up and your done.....

not the case....

first off unless you want to crank the temperature in your fridge up to just above freezing the "keg" will not be cold, average temperatures in the fridge will not penetrate to the center of the "keg", leaving you with half cold beer....not cool

second the thing is a bitch to tap....according to the instruction you just pull up the tab...turn it counter clockwise and your ready to roll....this is false....the fucking thing will shoot a geyser all over your fridge for about 15 seconds....if you have to, twist the tab and slap a large rag on top of it....it makes a big mess....

third....even after you go through the ordeal of taping the "keg" you have to actually pour it into a glass, not only is it a pain in the ass to pull the tab out, twist it and get your glass full...then you have to go through pushing the tab back in while the pent up beer spills out of it and the "keg" slides to the back of the fridge (boogie tip: put a gallon of milk and an orange juice container behind it to prevent this). on top of this you have to deal with the tap dripping all over the bottom of the fridge for the next five minutes....do yourself a favor....slap some paper towels under it to absorbe the constant drip

fourth and finally....you basically have to drink all 5 liters during the span of the evening....within 24 hours the beer will be flat and disgusting, even if you take the time to seal the tap back up....boogie drinks 4.4 liters, wakes up the next day happy that hes going to have a glass of grolsch with his pizza...but oh no...it pours out like ass, bubbles for 30 seconds and then goes flat...what a blue ball

 

verdict: the though of the ability to fit a "keg" in your fridge will excite you....dont be fooled...while its shaped like a keg it is not...its an oversized bottle of beer that you have to drink within a two hour period...it could be cool if you were drinking with a few of your friends bu even then your going to have to clean your entire fridge the next day so its pointless, plus youll save yourself a few bucks just buying a 12 pack which basically equals one of these peices of shit...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

only when im drunk i make a post like this:D

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You would assume that when producing a "keg" the companys would make it as simple as possible to use, i meen how many drunk people are going to tolerate Labor when trying to incomapasitate themselves.. the nerve.

 

"not only is it a pain in the ass to pull the tab out, twist it and get your glass full...then you have to go through pushing the tab back in while the pent up beer spills out of it and the "keg" slides to the back of the fridge (boogie tip: put a gallon of milk and an orange juice container behind it to prevent this). on top of this you have to deal with the tap dripping all over the bottom of the fridge for the next five minutes....do yourself a favor....slap some paper towels under it to absorbe the constant drip

fourth and finally....you basically have to drink all 5 liters during the span of the evening....within 24 hours the beer will be flat and disgusting, even if you take the time to seal the tap back up...."

 

That shits ridiculous.

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even real kegs can be a bitch a lot of the time.....

 

i'll stick to my cheap, watery, american beer.

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Guest NATO

my mum bought me a couple of budwise mini kegs for my birthday last year. i just took them to some party, they seemed to go down well, the tap thing on it was pretty flimsy but wasn't too bad until some fat bastard moron snapped it clean off, cue fountain of beer over some girls kitchen! i threw the empty keg at this fool later that night when he was passed out, i got him good.

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