CannahMontana

best story on here without a doubt!

im gonna share a few stories, fuck talking about how much a nigga can and cant drink, and fyi dsd is pretty big guy (nh), im sure the homie can handle 17 drinks, i havnt drank in over six months, i wasnt the alcoholic type either, i drank maybe 4 times out the week it that, and one night i had 3 four lokos, 2 40z of mickes, over ten cups of beer out of a keg, around 20 jello shots, and a few cups of jungle juice and i got homies on here that will clerify that, i was fine for a bit, and woke up the next day in the er, with a ticket in my hand for disorderly conduct, and that was the last time i drank. anyways time for a couple sex stories. about 3 halloweens ago, i was at a party for halloween at my cousins house, i went there with my friend Mike, we rolled a couple blunts, smoked drank a little and just chatted with random bitches i havnt seen in a while. then this bitch Britny (real dumb slutty broad, like seriously border line retarded) starts texting me, said she heard about the party and was on her way with her aunt, who i also knew. and the girl starts texting me shit like "wait till i get there, i wanna do something freaky to you" then she says, ill give you a clue, it involves me using my tongue ring. im thinking hmmm i wonder whats gonna happen, dumb bitch. so she gets to the party, shes not there not even 5 mins before she takes me outside, we go in my cousins backyard, ended up going into his neighbor's back yard, this bitch sits herself inside this tire swing and starts bobbin on my shit, for like half an hour this chick is going at it and finally i bust all inside her mouth. well i go back to the party, have my fun, everybody leaves i pass out on the futon, the next morning i wake up, this goofy ass dude Devonte is sitting in a sofa across from me, asks me if i had a cigar, i had like 2 left in my pack and roll a blunt, mike wakes up, and we start talking about lastnight, then mike says "dog i made out with britny lastnight, shes got some big titties dude" i replied "really? you made out with her?" he said yeah man why, i said "dude i skeeted all in her mouth lastnight hahaha" he gave me this stale ass look, then tried to front and say "oh na this was before she sucked your dick" and i said nope, cuz she wasnt here not 5 minutes before i had her out back slobbin. to this day i stay bringing it up just to fuck with him, matter of fact, last week we were on my porch smoking a cigg, and he says, "guess who i ran into at Krogers yesterday" i said who, he said Britny, i was like "oh the girl you made out with after i skeeted in her mouth" his was like, fuck you nigga. haha priceless. heres another one, super short, 19th birthday, fucking a bitch in a bed on ectascy, on the same bed next to me, my homie is fucking a girl also, (nh) the two bitches face eachother and make out while me and my nigga and smashing em from the back. pretty fun. this next one, isnt fucked up or gross or involve any type of std, or anything like that, not shameful, its fucking awesome. im 17 years old, momma dukes started making alot of money, which was awesome cuz i grew up dirt fucking poor, she tells me were going to the key islands for vacation, im pumped, we drive down to key largo just me and her, (sisters are grown married have kids, dont know why but bro didnt wanna go) we pass through a few keys, and we get to key largo, we stay in the hilton resort, this place was kick ass, private basketball court, fitness room, private beach, fucking anything you could imagine really google that shit, hilton resort key largo, well if you wanted to fish, you go to the front desk and ask em for a fishing rod and some bait, and they would give it you, shitty thing is, bait is like ten bucks, and if you dont use it all up, and try to save some for the next day, the shit will have your mini fridge (it was shrimp) stankin like a motherfucker, so one day i go to get some bait, and this sexxxxyy ass peurto rican girl Ivelisse worked the front desk, and i had my bengals jersey on, and shes all like "oooh bengals" in her sexy ass accent, we talk for a grip, like an hour or two, i ended up buying that bait and not even using it cuz i talked to her the whole dam time, over the next couple days i would talk to her everytime i was going out to swim, play ball, or do whatever, one day she gave me her number, and we were talking, she said she was getting off in a hour, i asked her if she wanted to come back and swim with me, she said sure she just had to go grab her bathing suit and come back. i honestly didnt think the bitch was gonna come back, like she was out of my league and shit, but sure enough she came back, we swam out in the ocean in the middle of the night, and then we went over to the hot tub, we made out in the hot tub, and the girl started sucking me, i couldnt fucking believe it. i wanted to take her back to my hotel, but i couldnt, moms was there watching tv, so im like fuck what are we gonna do, i asked her, you think you could get a hotel key to a vacant room? and she said no, that she could loose her job (like she couldnt loose her job sucking off a client in the hot tub), we ended up going out to the private beach, just chillin on these beach chairs making out for a bit, and when the coast was clear, this girl pulled her bikini bottoms to the side and rode the shit out of me, raw dog my nigga i didnt even give a fuck, even if i caught the clap from this bitch i wouldnt even be mad tho, that pussy was nice, herpes then ya nigga woulda been pissed, but i wouldnt of tripped if i got burnt from the girl or anything. i kept ol girls number, she would send me naked photos to me, all types of shit. the very next year, me and a friend went down to keywest, this chick drove around 90 miles or so from key largo to our hotel in key west just to fuck me again and hang out, and yes, i went raw dog in her again. if any of you guys ever get the chance, deff go to key west. Monday night football, go to a bar called Ricks on duvall street, everytime your team scores you get a free shot, and they have 5 cent drafts. a fucking beer for a nickle. fucking awesome.

My homie John (rip) was smashing this girl in this dudes pool at the party once late at night, my homie gets done, goes to hop out the pool, and realizes the condom aint on his dick, this dude swims around the pool looking for this condom cuz he dont want it to get sucked into the engine or whatever and fuck up our homies pool, my nigga cant find the condom for shit, so he gives up. the next morning my dude told me when he woke up next to his bitch, he started kissing her neck, feeling on her clit wanting to fuck again, he goes to slide his finger in her, feels something, and pulls out the condom. bitch slept with that jimmy hat inside her all night long. how gorss, how much of a loose ass whore can you be that you cant feel a rubber up inside you.

^^your a faggot snitch, get out of this thread please. thank you.

:lol:

^^do it up. more people need to contribute then me you and dsd

wait wait wait...how the FUCK they even get that car on the back of his truck..

huh?

anybody know this girls name?

jesus christ whats up with all the hairy bushes on that last page

pretty cool to sit down and listen to if you aint got shit to do. Cincinnati's Police Radio you can peep all the crazy calls coming in and shit, also has columbus on there, and cleveland. just click on the lil speaker icon underneath "listen" http://www.radioreference.com/apps/audio/?feedId=2678

ol girl in the american eagle sweater had a fat ol ass! but, people are dumb, why jump on somebody that just got ran over by car, dumb bitch was laying on top of em, like you dont know what broken bones they got and shit, the fuck. black people sure can be retarded.

i got a phone line chat story too DSD funny you bring that up my dude, well lets get into it. One night im just chillin, watching some old school dragonball Z smoking a bowl of some chronic just chillin, well i get super bored, its about 1 am, and i have nothing to do, tons of chronic, a flask full of that kickin chicken, nobody to kick it with nothing, everybody was either sleep, at work, already out doing something, well a commercial for one of those phone chat lines comes on, if im not wrong i remember it being "Live Links" phone chat or something like that, said try it free, so im like word, well lets see what this hype is all about and see if i can find some shortys to fuck with, so they give you like 30 free minutes to hear girls adds send em messages and connect live with bitches that live in the same city you live in, or cities near by, well im skipping through the adds (hella old bitches looking for love, and casual disscussions and whatnot well fuck all that) i come across this add, a bitch wanting a guy or two to come over and get bossed up, sounds like shes in her thirties, but sounds sexy though, and even better the bitch said she was residing in Westwood. hell yeah, same hood as me, well she says serious replies only, so i send her a message and say "hey serious reply here, bored horny as hell looking to get sucked up, heres my number 513 bla bla bla hit me up, well like 2 minutes go by and i get a phone call, and its that bitch. So i answer we start talking and stuff, i ask were she stays and she tells me such and such street, so im like cool, only like two blocks from me, bitch tells me shes slim, 31, long brown hair, pretty smile, c cup titties, and i describe myself and whatnot and shes like cool, (im only 19 at the time just thought id toss that in) well i ask her if she smokes weed she says hell yeah, so i start picking a few lil nice size nugs out my stash, and i tell her ill head over shortly give her a ring when im on her street. now Cincinnati is fucked up, not like Detroit but we have a fare shares of robberies, murders and whatnot, so im no dumb nigga, i never get caught slippin so im starting to think..hmmm like what if this bitch is setting me up, what if i get there walk in, and boom theres to masked men beating me down till i give up the goods, so i start thinking to myself, should i bring my burner? then again its late out, and in westwood, cops creep the streets like no other at this time, then i think well fuck it i pack it alot why not now when your meeting up with some chick you never met up with, and then im thinking, well what if you go to smash ol girl, and you have to take the burner off your waist and lay it on the night stand, whats old lady gonna think? gonna scare the bitch, so im having this war with my self on what choice ima make, finally im like fuck it man just leave it here, this bitch sounds legit. since its like two blocks away, i just walk, it feels good out. i get on her street give her a ring, she comes out on the porch, turns out her bitch lives directly across the street from one of my crew mates, im like hmmm..this is ironic. well bitch was 31, and looked 21! omg, fine broad, top notch milf, im thinking to myself, damn gotta fuck with these chat line numbers more often. well we go inside, and right away i notice family photos hanging up, bitch has 2 young kids, and a husband, looked like a pretty swolle dude not the guy you wanted to fuck with or get on his bad size, and i ask her bout the pictures, said her kids are at the grandmas for the night, hubby is at work, so im like ehh cool, but at the same time having images of this big ass nigga coming in the door and beating me down, but i just say fuck it, we sit down on the couch and i ask if she wants to smoke, so i roll up a nice little stoagie, me and her sit there watching tv for a sec puffing this L just talking bout random shit, well i throw the roach in a ash tray, and no lie this chick looks at me and flat out says "well you want your cock sucked or what hun" just hearing a sexy lady tell me straight forward like that gave me a hard on in like 3.5 seconds, so i say hell yeah, i stand up unbuckle the belt slide down the levis and she starts bossin me up. Yo you ever stand there getting head while a girl is toppin you off and your getting tired of holding your shirt up so you just take it off? well thats what i did, i took off the polo and threw it on the floor, (yes another night wearing polo, im a lo fanatic) im just standing there getting bossed up, and i hear the keys hit the door, im like fuck, instantly im thinking oh shit, macho man randy savage is here to beat my ass fuck!, i go to pull up my pants the door opens up and he sees me, i look at him, No lie, homeboy has the Sheriff uniform on, (dude is a C.O downtown at county) i thought dude was gonna pull his strap and tell me to freeze and shit, i run for the kitchen hoping theres a back door, there isnt, i go to climb through this window, this fucking window is tiny as fuck, and as im trying to squeeze through, frank the deputy is grabbing onto my leg, i start kicking as wild as i can i break loose and fall to the ground outside, i jump up, i only have one of my shoes, im shirtless, belt is still unbuckled i grab ahold of my pants and run like the wind, i cut through this back yard, and i come out on a main street were this school is, i run into the playground of this school and duck down by this bush to catch my breath, smoking heavy amounts of weed and ciggs is not a good thing when it comes to having to run for your life, im weezing, feels like my chest is tight, got that lump in my throat no homo, just sitting there like fuck, i see a pick up truck pull of her street im like fuck thats him, i crawl under the bush, and lay there, shirtless, bush is all prickling me and shit, im pissed, breathing hard, my fucking polo is in ol girls crib, and one of my sneakers, im just over all pissed about the whole thing, i lay there for about an hour, dude is circling the blocks looking for me, finally i get up and creep back to the crib. a few days later im over my homies crib, sitting on his porch drinking a couple 40s and theres a uhaul truck out in front of this bitches crib, hubby was packing shit, and i was just cracking up, i told my homie the story, and we just sat there getting weak at the whole thing, to this day i pray if i go to county again, the guy booking me in is not this dude, that would really suck.

lmao, neither, whole diff bathroom, whole different house. i dont ever wanna step foot in that bathroom again, let alone her crazy redneck family's household.

here ya go. Olivia, aka Poop Shooter Extraordinaire [ATTACH]159435.vB[/ATTACH]

okay well heres my doodoo anal shit story....fuck. I use to work with this girl Olivia, real hot white chick, one of those kinds that love rap, talks shit, and likes the fight, but not the wigger type of chick though, just raised in the slums. bad ass body man, i mean ass for days, i can upload a pic on here, and actually you know what, i will after this story, we had just got back in touch, and right away she started sending me pictures, bitch loved the pipe, had her strung, aint talking that crackhead shit either, na meeen. but anyways, here in Cincinnati we got a radio station called WEBN and every year they have this huge firework show down on the river, shoot off big shits off a boat and shit. one night she calls me and says "hey what ya doing for the fireworks" i knew she wanted to chill for em, and i knew she would end up wanting to fuck me. she tells me were going to her aunt and uncles who lives next to the ohio river, we can watch the fire works from there balcony, i got there and instantly im uncomfortable. her aunt is this big fat redneck, bitch has on shorts made from jeans, you know the kinds were you just cut the legs off, a flannel with the sleeves cut off, and a coyboy hat on (she ended up showing me her tattoo later in the night, bitch had "bite me" right above her hairy ass puss i almost threw up) her uncle was a redneck covered in shitty tattoos and had long hair and had a short ass temper. well we start drinking, but she says before we get drunk i need to know if you need a ride home or not cuz ill take you no if so, i wanted to leave cuz her redneck ass family was creepin me out, but at the same time i wanted to smash so i stayed. so i bought a 24 case of bud light thinking this bitch would get drunk with me, but she had already got trashed quick drinking tequila with her aunt, well fast forward, i remember going to the bedroom, i wanted to fuck straight up, was sucking on the tits and trying to get wet, thats when the bitch hits me with that "im on my period shit" fucking bummer, but she must of wanted the dick bad cuz right away she considered anal, so man, drunk as fuck, no lube, no rubber, nothing, i remember hitting her in her ass for like half an hour, man.... i must of have gotten the case of the whisky dick and i went soft after a bit, and i was pissed cuz i didnt even get to nut, but from what i remember i didnt nut, i remember her stopping me and saying "fuck it lets just go to sleep" well i wake up freezing, bitch had the ac on full blast and was hogging all the blanket, so im laying there ass naked cold as fuck, i turn to grab the blanket and i pull a lil on top of me and i feel something cold and mushy, i look down, bitch had shitted all on the blanket, all over the bed and all over me...i wake her up and she looks at me like what, "bitch you fucking shatted all over the place" she gets up and i can see all the butt mud on her booty, she showered downstrairs and i showered upstairs, thank god we was both butt naked, i dont know how id feel if she got shit on om polo shirt and polo boxers, be going home in her uncles redneck gear. we still havnt spoke about that night, we both acted like it has never happened.

^^^fag

that tag is basura

Merje hedake. bump

:lol:

thats what i saying, i would have got missin on those fuckers

that hedake hand is blingin! bling bling yall

genre kills this whole thread

this looks nothing like big pun, more like an over weight asian dude

weres the unkle pics, lets see em