Re: Dear ________, - no homo
Dear Landlord,
Thank you for your sage guidance on my job search. Sadly, I cant get a fast food job because i'm not bilingual, necessary in my west siyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed neighborhood. We also own a pit bull, so i DO meet all the qualifications to begin rollin'with the Latin Kings. However, I'm keeping my gang joining options open for now as a gal needs to choose her homies carefully, you know?
and no, i'm not bitter about Sam keeping my deposit, because i ''destroyed that beautiful wallpaper in the bedroom.'' even though anyone with the ability to see in general would consider it a mercy killing. In fact since you have such a twisted concept of beauty, i thought youd appreciate the lovely mosaics of shit my dogs produce on your lawn in front of your apartment!
Best wishes,
p.s. big ups on that newspaper you wont be getting and cant figure out why!