Dear RED
good luck homie, wish I could make some serious cash!
Dear UK People
Don't be such ignorant fucktards, please don't vote for far right idiots like UKIP/BNP/EDL/BritainFirst, they will destroy the country.
Dear Birthday
I know I don't care about you, but why do you always make me feel like shit for the run up to it, old age problems!
Dear writer from my town
Fuck you, you jumped up little twat.
Dear Phone
Why you gotta die, I can't be bothered getting you fixed as I hate phone shops, back to 90s no phone steez! Just gutted about all the photos of my son so might have to go to a shop and get it fixed.
Decy