Rude&InTheNude

A woman asked me if I knew how to get Margaret Cho tickets today. Gee, I wonder why she asked me? Believe me, soon as I got a car and a driver's license, I didn't hear the end of it from ALL my guy friends "oooh no, watch out!" even though I have pretty much a perfect driving record. There's almost never been a time when I was out and about and my race/ethnicity wasn't a question for someone I just met regardless of what race or sex they are. Then they relate me to EVERYONE they've ever known who was the same race as me. "Oh yeah my boss was like this" "My ex was like that" "I've been to your country and it was like this and that" yada yada yada... the worst is when they try to speak to me in the language... I just want to roll my eyes and say "I speak English, dumbass." You're right. Nothing you can say is gonna change anything. But living in a big multicultural city, I've learned to observe a lot of different behavior, but what surprised me the most is how many people were observing ME. I used to get pissed, but I've quickly built tolerance and learned how to take things with a little grain of salt. A woman AND a minority... me and those black girls in the library have more in common than you thought....

Yes! And it's so well deserved too! Those drunk hipster girls are the types that go on Myspace and call their friends "niggers" for fun, list their ethnicity as Black/African Descent as a joke, and have names like xTalkShitGetHitx or xDropKickingBitchesInTheFacex or xxxImaVeganThatDoesLotsofCokexxx.

Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen them fight? They'll grab a bitch by the hair with the left hand and sock the shit out of her face with the right. I've even seen one grab the back of a girl's head and smash her face right onto a locker. Oh, sweet high school memories...

Damn they're loud. They roll in packs everytime too. Never alone. Ever. Yeah, I know there's a cute guy in here, but do they have to laugh like hyenas to let their presence be known?

Fuck the Winter Olympics. Put Conan back on the air!! Can't wait to see Conan's footage from Finland.

I live in California... what do you expect? Everyone knows Cali has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy and STD's (excluding New Jersey). Duh.

1? 2? Are these responses for real? I don't even know guys with numbers like that since they were 14. You guys must be sweet little 16 years olds. Mmmm 16 year olds.

All brunettes. No blondes. No redheads. No Azns (shocker!) There is so much for me to learn.

Eww, fuck the hipster look. Someone give those chicken legs something to eat! And throw in a shower while you're at it...

I want to pimp the dudes. Lesson #1: Assertive and persistant. Don't be afraid to show attraction. Spark that chemistry, son. Lesson #2: Follow lesson #1, or else you'll fall in the indefinite "friend zone" unless you're uber-hot, (but you're probably not). So follow lesson #1!

I want to hook up Hesh with a fine ass girl. I'm friends with the cutest Filipina and Latina girls... too bad most of them are taken. And the ones that are not, they're pimpin' and playin' dudes slicker than any man I've ever known. I couldn't believe it at first. Women seem to be good at this trait called "deception." But they're not really into white boys very much. One of my friends (a fine ass Mexican girl) said the last time she kissed a white boy, it was weird because "he had no lips" haha. I highly disagree, but still funny as fuck. I want to be audience member also, but we gotta have a questionare for the participants. edited: bad grammar and spelling.

That guy has a white man's legs with a black dude's dill.

I would, but I'm friends with your ex. Sure, I may have done many heartless things in my life, such as making men feel as big a peanut, but hurting a female friend's feelings is something I just won't do. Especially over a man. Ever. But I will never hesistate to hurt a man's feeling. Ever. Haha.

"You Oughta Be With Me" is the shit (Ghostface sampled it) and "Call Me" is one of my favorite songs ever. I sing it off the top of my lungs driving in my car all the time. Too bad they never have those songs in karaoke...

Novelty. Shiny, new, and exciting conquests. I'm hooked to that adrenaline rush, which is also why I'm a kleptomaniac.

Come to Southern California. There is no winter here (82 degrees today). Seriously.

Six Pack!

Ink Lunatic El Mamerro Pilau Hands Seeking Mr. ABC Merojuana Hesh Uncle-Boy A couple of others... good times. Like time I got lost in the 'hood looking for Seeking's house, and finally found it thanks to a Bob Hope Oner tag on an electrical box. Yeeeah....

Question. I've been an Ebay seller and buyer for a couple of years now, but I've never bought electronics before. Do you think it's safe to buy an ipod on Ebay? Sometimes it's not worth to get stolen ipods because once they fuck up (which they tend to do easily), you can't take them back to the mac store to get 'em fixed. Opinions? Suggestions?

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200602/20...3_284_101.jhtml I wonder what she thought about her skit on his show?

Oprah was annoying. She was constantly interrupting him and trying to put words in his mouth.

It's not just women that are the problem... You can't forget about the creepy ex-boyfriends that still drunk dial after 4 years and monitor your every move and try to befriend your friends on Myspace.

Yep.

MILF = has to be old enough to be your mom! She's just a young woman who had an unwanted pregnancy.

I used to call my dad's friend Parker Lewis because he always wore funny colorful printed button up shirts.