Guest beardo Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 According to sources close to CRMP news, Geraldo Rivera has reportedly had his colon and parts of his large intestine transplanted to the outside of his body in a shocking, radical reconstructive surgical procedure. According to sources, his healthy 6ft long colon has been transplanted such that it wraps around his head, not unlike a large turban. Portions of his large intestine reportedly extend from his anus, wrapping around his neck several times like a little scarf, and then up across his upper lip and finally extending to meet the coiled turban-like colon at his crown. Asked why he decided on such a radical reconstructive procedure, Rivera said, "Number 1, it looks good. Number 2, I can now poop on my own face." The procedure has been gaining in popularity over the previous several decades, but to date, Mr. Rivera is the first celebrity to receive the unusual body alteration. It remains unclear how Geraldo fans will react to the "new" Geraldo or whether his television career will be affected by the decision. When asked whether he was concerned that the presence of a large 6 foot section of his colon atop his head would negatively impact his career or repulse viewers of his cable program, Mr. Rivera shot back with a confident, "Not at all." -THE POOPER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRONOLOGIK Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 HAAHAHAHAAHA! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 i wanna shoot the shit with the pooper........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pissdrunkwhat?! Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! at first i thought it was real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyLawrence Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 FUCK THE NEWS.... I AM THE INTERNET. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Originally posted by beardo Rivera said, "Number 1, it looks good. Number 2, I can now poop on my own face." thats comedy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swif1 Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Originally posted by WALE!pd HAHA!! at first i thought it was real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest drunken phil Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Originally posted by WALE!pd HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! at first i thought it was real it's not?!?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest socrates Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 It took me way too long to figure out that it was a fake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Are2 Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 the onion?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 nope, no onion. just a guy who likes writing funny poetry and stories about all things POOP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveAustin Posted September 24, 2002 Share Posted September 24, 2002 Originally posted by Are2 the onion?? I'll admit, the onion was the first thing that popped into my head as well. I still remember that Al Capone's vault thing. Can't believe he had a career after that. funny shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahighlifdhl Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 i still think its real Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uncle-boy Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 Originally posted by KRONOLOGIK HAAHAHAHAAHA! :lol: and eeeww thats gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meone Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 thats awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wilt Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 that was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 On this fair 25th day of September, I take a vow. A solemn oath to the moon and sky; the earth and stars. I swear before almighty Garschk and Vishnu and Indra and Jesus and Allah and Joe Smith and Krishna and L. Ron Hubbard and Siddartha, the ultimate physician. I take my vow before Brahma the Creator and Shiva the Destroyer. Before all creation, with all my being, with every ounce of energy I possess, with a single-pointed mind, with all my concentration, with my undying will, with an unwavering sense of purpose, and with a full colon and an open anus, I swear that I shall POOP forcefully all over your Mom's face. Never will she be able to expunge the mighty crump cacophony that I shall unleash upon her benevolent face. To exfoliate the impending holy assmask shall be a distinct impossibility. Of that, I am certain. For I invoke the names of Nodens and Brahma and Abraham and Tina Yothers for help in my all-important mission. And they shall not foresake me. May the Great-Forces-that-be see to it that this crucial task be taken to full fruition. And may the fruit of my colon find its way to its proper receptacle - your Mom's mouth. Sincerely, THE POOPER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 ^crump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zemdoe sc Posted September 25, 2002 Share Posted September 25, 2002 mad me laugh.potty humor gets me every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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