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mental invalid

early bird, gets no worm....but he does get ROB!

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two nights of radiohead and three day weekend!!







see you cats



Free Will Astrology

horoscopes for week of October 9, 2003







Aries (March 21-April 19)


"I've been practicing radical authenticity lately," my Aries friend Steve told me. "I'm revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It's been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it's been ultimately rewarding." I thought a minute, then said, "I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface, but I'm curious as to why you imply they're all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn't you also express the raw truth about what's right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn't you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?" Steve sneered. He thought my version of radical authenticity was wimpy. I hope you don't, Aries. You have an astrological mandate to be honest in both ways.




Taurus (April 20-May 20)


One of my favorite obscure holidays is International Moment of Frustration Scream Day. Observed every October 12, it's meant to release pent-up tension resulting from the gap between what we have and what we think we want. Given the fact that your gap is particularly gaping right now, you Tauruses would especially benefit from throwing yourself into this fierce enjoyment with all your angst unfurled. The holiday's founders, Thomas and Ruth Roy, suggest that everyone should go outside sometime during the day and yell for 30 seconds. I hope the sound of you bellowing Bulls will be heard around the world.




Gemini (May 21-June 20)


It looks like you're poised to put the finishing touches on something that will last a very long time -- an expression or creation that will be a defining monument to your essential self. If I'm right and you're really ready, let me offer a suggestion. This masterpiece should not only reflect what's excellent and successful about you; it should also acknowledge the role that your failures have played in growing your beauty.



Cancer (June 21-July 22)


This is one of those rare moments when laziness can be an asset. Fate is conspiring to rejuvenate you, and all you have to do is make sure you don't get in the way. I suggest, therefore, that you follow the advice of the Zen master who said, "Don't just do something, sit there!" I mean it, Cancerian. Empty yourself of ambitions. Burn your to-do list. Tell your monkey mind you're taking a sabbatical from its obsessive leaping and shrieking. Feel absolutely no guilt as you practice the art of making yourself a tabula rasa.




Leo (July 23-August 22)


According to author Colin Wilson, synchronicities are meaningful coincidences that are created by the unconscious mind to jar the conscious mind into a keener state of perception. They imbue us with a powerful sense that there are hidden meanings beneath the surface of everyday life; they lead us to suspect that a huge, benevolent intelligence is always working behind the scenes, weaving connections that are invisible to us in our normal state of awareness. I predict that you will be awash in synchronicities in the coming week, Leo. You will get concrete proof that everything is far more intertwined than you've ever dared to imagine.



Virgo (August 23-September 22)


If you want to place yourself in alignment with the current cosmic trends, you will seek out more than the usual amount and quality of your favorite physical sensations. My advice is to compose a list of your top five, then write out a proposed plan for getting those needs met and met and met. For instance, if you normally have a massage every once in a while, arrange to have at least two in the coming week, and make sure you enlist the services of the very best masseuse or masseur you know. Use the same approach to sex, food, sleep, aromas, beautiful sights, and any other experience that thrills your body.




Libra (September 23-October 22)


"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about," wrote Libran Oscar Wilde, "and that is not being talked about." You won't have to worry about the latter problem in the next two weeks. The number of discussions about your character and behavior will probably exceed that of any other 14-day period in the past five years. Fortunately, the astrological indicators suggest that a relatively high percentage of the gossip flying around will be benevolent and even flattering. It will be a good time, therefore, for a marketing campaign or networking blitz.




Scorpio (October 23-November 21)


You are potentially a genius. Maybe not in the same way that Einstein and Beethoven were, but still: You possess some capacity or set of skills that is exquisitely unique. You are a work of art unlike any other that has ever lived. Furthermore, the precise instructions you need to ripen into that glorious state have always been with you, even from before you were born. In the words of psychologist James Hillman, you have a soul's code. You might also call it the master plan of your heart's deepest desire; the special mission that the Divine Wow sent you here to carry out; the blueprint that contains the secret of how to be perfectly, gracefully, unpredictably yourself. Now here's the really good news, Scorpio: You're at a turning point when you have extraordinary power to tune in to and activate untapped areas of your soul's code.



Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)


Every year the Color Marketing Group (CMG) at www.colormarketing.org issues a report that identifies the new colors coming into fashion, as well as their symbolic meaning. From their long list, I have selected the specific hues you should surround yourself with if you'd like to be in harmony with cosmic forces during the rest of 2003. 1. Lemon Meringue. "Silver flirts with gold in this zesty confection reminiscent of vintage roadsters," says CMG. 2. Shimma. "A shimmer, a shake, a lustrous flake, this pearlized metallic adds a savvy crackle to your communications." 3. Iron Ore-ange: "The influence of copper on orange creates a sophisticated background with primal undertones." 4. Exploring Khaki. "This safari green recalls rain forest moss and buried treasure."



Capricorn (December 22-January 19)


Given how fresh and strong you've been feeling lately, you may not be in the mood to initiate a showdown with The Problem That Refused To Die. Why risk getting demoralized by that boring old energy drain when you're so peppy? I'll tell you why: You now have a new and unprecedented advantage over The Problem That Refused To Die. You may not be able to kill it off completely, but then again you might. And you will at least be able to dramatically limit its power to mess with you.



Aquarius (January 20- February 18)


"No work is more worthwhile than to be a sign of divine joy and a fountain of divine love." So says mystic and scholar Andrew Harvey, and I fervently agree. Not everyone is cut out for such an exacting career, of course. The pay isn't great, the hours are long, and the heroes who make it their main gig rarely get the appreciation they deserve. It's best to try it out for a while on the side without quitting your day job. Having provided those caveats, Aquarius, I'm pleased to inform you that this is the best time in years for you to work hard at being a sign of divine joy and a fountain of divine love.




Pisces (February 19-March 20)


Your flavor of the week will be ginger peach or vanilla clove or some other blend of piquant spiciness and smooth sweetness. The kitchen accessory that best symbolizes your special skills will be a thick sponge that has an abrasive surface on one side for scrubbing dirty pots. The recurring dream you're most likely to dream for the last time, triumphing forever over the past trauma that originally spawned it, is the nightmare in which you feel like a cornered animal. Your haiku of power will be "melodious struggle where the soul turns crap into fertilizer."

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Libra (September 23-October 22)


"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about," wrote Libran Oscar Wilde, "and that is not being talked about." You won't have to worry about the latter problem in the next two weeks. The number of discussions about your character and behavior will probably exceed that of any other 14-day period in the past five years. Fortunately, the astrological indicators suggest that a relatively high percentage of the gossip flying around will be benevolent and even flattering. It will be a good time, therefore, for a marketing campaign or networking blitz.

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> Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't

> know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone

> to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get

> mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good

> way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries

> can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever

> happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be

> counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done

> anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

> Trademark cocktails: Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the

> ruler of spicy food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers

> recommend they eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens. That's right,

> Aries, you were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules

> grapefruit, and they've been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea

> breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon liqueur

> in it.

> Drinking buddies: Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle

> Gellar, Al Gore, Thomas Jefferson, Elton John, Eric McCormack, Rosie

> O'Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon




> Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a

> mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated


> is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who

> spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the

> preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and

> barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the

> Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get,

> er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely

> amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

> Trademark cocktails: Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a

> Red Bull and vodka. They also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of

> drinks with names that sound like dessert (50-50 bar, mudslide). Sweetly

> caffeinated drinks, like Irish coffee or white Russians, are ideal. More

> macho Taureans will go for something unpretentious, like a Jack and Coke

> or whiskey sour.

> Drinking buddies: Cate Blanchett, Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher,

> Penelope Cruz, William Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand,

> Uma Thurman, Renee Zellweger




> Drinking style: Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much --

> they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just

> hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and

> allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of

> intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic ability

> to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with

> several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round

> -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks:

> beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

> Trademark cocktails: Easily bored Geminis need some stimulation in their

> drinks-- those with two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double),

> are particularly appealing. Otherwise, they'll drink all over the map,

> ordering frou-frou drinks to add to their collection of cocktail monkeys

> or going for whiskey rocks because they're feeling rather noir. Gemini

> rules the herb anise -- make some home-infused anise vodka as a gift.

> Drinking buddies: George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett, Boy

> George, Allen Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie

> Minogue, Morrissey




> Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with

> dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it,

> Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must

> guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret

> parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood

> style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and

> emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than

> swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your

> favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. Keep in mind

> once started, a Cancer never stops... drinking.

> Trademark cocktails: Ruled by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea

> of moonshine -- any booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey and soda to

> grandpappy's special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like

> comfortingly warm and sweet drinks, like hot toddies and hot buttered

> rums. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you

> served up a vanilla vodka and soda. Though a six-pack of bud will do.

> Drinking buddies: Pamela Anderson, George W. Bush, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise,

> Harrison Ford, Sean Hayes, Lil' Kim, George Michael, Princess Diana,

> Prince William




> Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous

> dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding

> dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're

> darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit,

> probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get

> over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one

> what brung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so

> just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish Lion to

> make it up to you the next day.

> Trademark cocktails: Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical

> concoctions festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more

> common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often have a taste for

> the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next

> Manhattan. Their sense of drama lends itself to a kir royale, of course.

> Drinking buddies: Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton, Monica

> Lewinsky, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha

> Stewart, Andy Warhol




> Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their

> bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less

> than other signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat,

> to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get

> fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the

> intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it

> loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one

> Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level

> of intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!

> Trademark cocktails: Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks

> like vodka tonic or a real margarita, though you'll find 'em drinking

> anything -- from unflinchingly downing Cuervo straight to smirkingly

> ordering a dirty virgin. They also tend to like bitter, low-alk guzzles

> like Campari and soda. They rarely change their drink once they've found

> it, however.

> Drinking buddies: Cameron Diaz, Hugh Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael

> Jackson, Freddie Mercury, Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe,

> Keanu Reeves, Lily Tomlin




> Drinking style: "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht

> that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle

> and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with

> Insta-Friend device set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they

> are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room.

> Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control,

> however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing

> their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their

> best friend's beau or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!


> Trademark cocktails: Aesthetic Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a

> pink lady or a brandy Alexander. That's the influence of Venus, their

> ruling planet, which also gives them a horror of crudely named potions

> like Sex on the Beach. They're fine with "normal" guzzles like apple

> martinis, but every Libra secretly just wants Champagne, and lots of it.

> Drinking buddies: Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane

> Garofalo, Hugh Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar

> Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones




> Drinking style: Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll

> smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're

> hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and

> screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as

> something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool --

> though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But

> generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists

> and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you

> did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

> Trademark cocktails: Just as a Scorpio can look you in the eye and smile

> while secretly plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger's

> sweet taste hide a potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal,

> serve them a scorpion -- they may not love tropical drinks, but it shows

> you're paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break out the

> blender and fix a pitcher of watermelon margaritas to seduce 'em -- though

> red wine will do the trick just as well.

> Drinking buddies: Truman Capote, Hillary Clinton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie

> Foster, Bill Gates, k.d. lang, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore, Sylvia Plath,

> RuPaul




> Drinking style:: In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze

> blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of

> their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink

> with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from

> the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole

> Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then

> persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or

> a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including

> a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty

> call).

> Trademark cocktails: A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be intrigued

> by drinks like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long

> Island iced tea (not a bad option, given how much Sag can put away and

> still stay vertical). Party monsters that they are, they're attracted to

> shots, like the ever-popular lemon drop. Sag rules pears, and could use a

> nice pear cider right about now, come to think of it.

> Drinking buddies: The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Noel Coward, Betty Ford,

> Lucy Liu, Brad Pitt, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Anna Nicole Smith,

> Britney Spears




> Drinking style: Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast,

> money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the

> astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and

> Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star:

> independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please.

> And if they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just

> like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they

> generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after

> party, especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.

> Trademark cocktails: Old-fashioned Cap would probably like an

> old-fashioned just fine -- or a dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a

> gimlet -- or any other no-nonsense quaff. They prefer drinks that taste

> like alcohol and generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients.

> However, they like the flavor of cranberry and will order a cosmo if they

> can handle the wait for it to get mixed.

> Drinking buddies: Orlando Bloom, David Bowie, James Dean, Marlene

> Dietrich, Martin Luther King Jr., Jude Law, Annie Lennox, Marilyn Manson,

> Richard Nixon, Elvis Presley




> Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except

> for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism,

> and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain

> or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however,

> they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they

> make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually

> capital drink-nursers. They also make the them before they start raising

> their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of

> holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

> Trademark cocktails: Aquarius is likely to order stuff most people have

> never heard of: a capirinha, Satan's whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur

> Tompkins. They like to stump the bartender. This sign rules the color

> electric blue and would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao.

> They also rule the olive tree, so pour the juice into that dirty martini.


> Drinking buddies: Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Matt

> Groening, Ashton Kutcher, Ronald Reagan, Christina Ricci, Justin

> Timberlake, Oprah Winfrey, Elijah Wood




> Drinking style: If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you

> share a sign-- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza

> Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the

> dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a

> mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other

> hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or

> in crime.With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of

> margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive

> personality" can be read two ways, you know.

> Trademark Cocktails: Pisces rules fresh mint, and they do love a mojito

> or three -- though a julep will do just as well. They also like punches,

> like sangria or the oh-so-aptly named fish house punch. (Pretty much

> anything will satisfy a Pisces in a pinch, though -- "drinking like a

> fish" is an idiom pulled out of the zodiac, not the deep blue sea.) Pisces

> is a chocoholic and loves creme de cacao (and spiked cocoa).

> Drinking buddies: Drew Barrymore, Chastity Bono, Chelsea Clinton, Kurt

> Cobain, Edward Gorey, Queen Latifah, Liza Minelli, Anais Nin, Sharon

> Stone, Liz Taylor



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boxcars thats fucking awesome!



George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett, Boy George, Allen Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie Minogue, Morrissey



can you imagine that conversation?!



id be all up on kylie and angelina.....while versing with ginsberg

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From the booze-o-scope:


This sign rules the color electric blue and would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao.


That's wild!

I did drink a bunch of Blue Curacao a few months ago just because

my Dad moved to that Island and I wanted to get in the carib spirit.



----onion scope-on-a-rope


Aries: (March 21—April 19)

You'll slip a notch in the estimation of your peers when they find out that the Statue of Liberty was a gift from the French, not from you.


Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)

Your eyes will soon meet the tender gaze of a handsome stranger, thanks to your decision to check the "organ donor" box on your driver's license.


Gemini: (May 21—June 21)

There is a time and place for everything, except for your loud and incompetent scat singing.


Cancer: (June 22—July 22)

Whether or not the pig learns to sing, you should keep trying to teach it. You have ample time, and no one cares about the pig's annoyance.


Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)

You're never fully dressed without a smile, but in this era of office casual, a nice pocket square will do.


Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)

Some will say you're incapable of loving anything in this world, but they've forgotten about the little baby ducks.


Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)

You'll be able to cross "See the Mona Lisa" off your list of things to do before you die, but that's about it.


Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)

You knew that girl on the billboard wasn't real, but you still hoped it was at least a picture of an actual 40-foot-tall woman.


Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)

Being able to understand the language of the birds and the beasts sounded great, before you knew what self-centered little shits they all are.


Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)

You're finding it harder and harder to sleep at night, knowing that Wilford Brimley and his horse are still out there somewhere.


Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)

No one at the public library will be able to answer your question about whether anyone in America has normal old sex anymore.


Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)

It turns out that Andy Warhol overestimated the duration of your fame by about 14 and a half minutes.

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

[bLibra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)

You'll be able to cross "See the Mona Lisa" off your list of things to do before you die, but that's about it.



Hmmm...looks like my time is almost up. I guess I know why I'll be talked about for the next 14 days....hey at least most of it is favorable.

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Guest WebsterUno



Oooohh...this one comes with a treat!


Jimmy Carter, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco, Janeane Garofalo, Hugh Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones



damn, that would be crazy to drink up with these folks.

Getting shit faced with Wolverine....woo hoo!



BigBlue-my b-day is within the next 14 days.

"party all the time, party allllll the tiiiime"

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