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sweet revenge hits the RIAA

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after finding their phone number....



JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?


RIAA: Hold on just a sec.


[There was a hold of about two minutes. I was desperately afraid they were tracing my call, and that Agent Smith would come smashing through my door at any moment, wielding the severed arm of Jimmy Carter. But I courageously waited it out.]


RIAA: Sir?


JH: Yes.


RIAA: The best advice I can offer you at this moment is to go to dub-dub-dub-musicunited.org and you can learn there how to uninstall your peer-to-peer software or file-sharing service.


JH: But I don't have a pee service. Someone just e-mailed me a song and I listened to it. Am I going to jail?


RIAA: Sir, I don't know. I'm not in a position to offer you legal advice on this.


JH: Legal advice? Do I need to get a lawyer?


RIAA: You might want to. As I said, your best possible route is to go to musicunited.org. Beyond that, I'm not in a position to offer you additional legal advice.


JH: Can I write a check to someone?


RIAA: Has your service provider told you that you've been subpoenaed?


JH: A penis?


RIAA: [Long pause] What?


JH: You asked if my service provider told me I have a penis?


RIAA: Have you been issued a subpoena?


JH: I just listened to it in my e-mail, is all!


RIAA: Sir, I can't give you any specific legal advice to assist you in your situation.


JH: My girlfriend listened to the song too. Is she going to jail? I'm really scared.


RIAA: I can't give you any specific advice beyond what I've said.


JH: How much do these songs cost? Can I just mail a check to you guys? I really don't want to go back to prison.


RIAA: Sir. I cannot have these conversations. You should consult a lawyer if you think you might be at risk.


JH: But I can't afford a lawyer! They're too expensive!


RIAA: What I can tell you is to visit musicunited.org, which will tell you ways to reduce the likelihood that you will be a target.


JH: A TARGET?! A target of who? Terrorists?!


RIAA: A target of legal action.


JH: You guys ARE going to sue me! I knew it! I never should have downloaded Beethoven's Ninth Symphony! Oh, NO!!!


RIAA: That's the best I can do for you.

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revenge eh?

i was thinks heads got severed stuck on stakes and planted in times square next to TRL all while being recorded in high quality MPEG format and now available on kazaa.

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