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whatever's crawling under your skin (time to bitch)


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I plan to paint myself to oblivion, but I doubt that a female writer is gonna be popping up for me. I don't even know any active male writers, and I live in a sizeable city.

 

I am starting to think that I have been hitched so long that I have forgotten myself...but it doesn't bother me....it was one of those "other half" relationships, but we grew apart as things popped up....God I need a remote control that regulates the flow of time. If I had one, I'd be laying next to her by the light of a pipe burning off the excess from an oil well....under a bridge in the city, right next to a construction site.....slipping malachite rocks into her pocket (I used to steal her three of them every time we went into a mall with one of those "nature stores"....three was her favorite number), and wondering whether or not we had time to take a nap....

 

I'll survive.

Thanks a lot for the support.

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meaning in life is arbitrary.

why ruin the universe with rigidity?

 

why do we make the choices we do? after all we do not have unlimited freedom to do things. we find ourselves constrained by our gender, our race, our economic circumstances, our personalities that were shaped both by genetics and the random processes of life. furthermore, we find that other people have their own ideas of what we should be doing, and they constrain us further.

 

*quotes from 365 TAO by Deng Ming-Dao

 

[This message has been edited by mudpuddle (edited 08-15-2001).]

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CRAWLING IN MY SKIN. THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL. i dont like linkin park but i hear the song all the time on mtv. anyway, im mad at myself for buying these jeans that are too long- the standard fit jeans from the gap. complained about them in the pants thread but going to complain some more. kinda of baggy but more tight so they look funny with all that material gathered around my ankles. i tried them on and thought they were alright but after ive washed them already, found out they arent alright. so ill probably never wear them now.

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dont get me started.

that "drops of jupiter song" by train.

 

that "you remind me" song by staind.

 

these headaches i get every hour and the doctors dont know whats wrong.

 

people who cant drive properly but have half assed souped up civics. anyone with a half assed car who thinks its fast should be shot.

 

people nagging me about stupid things that are not important.

 

my girlfriend always asking me to do everything for her, when she can do it herself.

 

having all my closest friends move away from me.

 

girls who wear wannabe skate clothes cause its the "cool" thing these days.

 

nsync.

 

getting carded at the movie theater by a kid whos no older than 15. i look about 25 and have a beard for godsakes, i think you can be sure i can handle a few bad words in a movie. i pay some crazy price for a movie, i want to relax and have a good time with my girl. i dont want to be hassled by some punkass pimple faced twirp. even if its policy, just think for a second.... do i really need to i.d this guy?

 

fuck, theres so many more. i dont want to fill up the entire screen with my useless babble.

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