The Masturbating Ape

I doubt you will, mainly due to the fact that you're probably frightened of him. A friend of mine's mother once stuffed tinned tomatoes up her alko husbands arse whilst he was passed out drunk. Soft cunt was a bit of a hypochondriac and though he was crappin blood. Who's ever pissed themselves when in an advanced state of refreshment, woke up the next day, gone back out and carried on getting hammered without bothering to change? I have more than once, every now and again you catch the acrid whiff of ammonia as the aroma of drying urine rises from your clothes in order that it might fill your nostrils with that unmistakable pissy tang. It can be quite enjoyable in an odd kinda way.

Avoid being percieved as an uptight cunt with a broomhandle up his arse by not starting to cry because somebody has the sheer audacity to post something not entirely serious on your oh so precious worthy thread. Fuckin gimp.

Which means that puddle of yellow stuff must be crab-type creature jism.

That crab thing looks like it's got it's dick stuck up the salmon and it's claw held aloft in some kind of unholy nazi-type salute of piscine sexual domination.

Just got all his joeys to get their hands dirty? That's the way to go, I suppose. Mind you, it didn't do the cunt much good in the long run.

Avoid looking like the sort of nobhead who wears his coat on his bottom by not doing this.

Far too many things for a bloke to stub his toe on in that gaffe, though I'd still sesh round there - Mainly because I reckon any cunt who lets all his mates come round and get wrecked in his pad is a mug who's more than likely gonna get his sink shat in. I like the record covers on the wall, though whoever's sat on the front couch is sure to get their ears flicked.

Space travel's just for closet batty boys. Probably see the rocket as a guy's cock. Maybe.

Abject fear coupled with envy?

Anyone mentioned Manson yet? He was a fuckin part time turd burglar as well though, wasn't he? Mind you, weren't they all? Sad cunts the lot of 'em.