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the troubled words of a troubled mind i try to understand what is eating you......rob

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Aug 15, 2003.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!






    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of August 14, 2003

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    If you're single, this is the most favorable time in many moons to try creating a harem for yourself. You're even more attractive than usual, and the cosmos has decreed that what might have been greedy in the past is just right now. If you're in an interesting monogamous relationship, on the other hand, don't mess it up with fantasies of polyamory. Instead, brainstorm with your partner about how you could provide more variety for each other. Dress up in different roles, for instance. Speak with funny accents, invent new names, or pretend you're living in another historical period. How would you do your love dance if you were members of the French Resistance in World War II or escaped American slaves headed for freedom circa 1863?



    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    If you're typical, your memory is not very efficient; by tomorrow at this time you will have forgotten much of what you learned today. But you cannot afford to be typical during the next ten days, Taurus. It's crucial to the ultimate success of your long-term dreams that you remember far more than you usually do. I don't care how you do it: Intensify your perceptiveness, try memory-strengthening exercises, take massive doses of ginkgo biloba, or all of the above. Become as aggressively receptive and absorptive as you have ever dared to be.


    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    Can you be a dissatisfied rebel and exuberant lover of life at the same time? Can you identify all the things that are wrong without losing your bemused tolerance? I think you can, especially this week. You won't have any role models to draw from, though, so you'll have to trust your intuition and the following advice: Be a happy bitch! A playful protester! A sweet-tempered complainer! The goodies will come to you if you overthrow the status quo with inventiveness and compassion.



    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    I'm sure you've had the experience of a song popping into your head and refusing to leave, as if it had taken one of your brain circuits hostage. Usually it's a catchy tune you've heard recently on the radio, but now and then it's an old song you haven't thought of in a long time. The former is a nuisance, but the latter may be an oracular message from your unconscious mind -- a helpful hint, like a vivid dream, that can clue you in to a not-yet-fully-bloomed truth. I predict you will be the lucky recipient of such an oracle at least twice in the coming week.



    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    Just assume you're a prime example of F. Scott Fitzgerald's belief that "If you're strong enough, there are no precedents." You have permission from the cosmos to make that assumption. You'll also be perfectly justified, Leo, in expecting the fire in your belly to grow bigger and hotter. Given the exceptional amounts of willpower you'll be able to channel in the coming days, it may even make sense for you to wear a ring with a symbolic thunderbolt and refer to yourself with the royal "we."



    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    Pablo Picasso had a difficult birth. When he finally popped out after a long labor, he wasn't breathing. The midwife decided his face was so blue he'd be impossible to revive. She declared him dead and left. But Picasso's uncle, who was in attendance, got up close to the infant and puffed cigar smoke up his nose. That was the shock that brought him to life. I expect that a metaphorically analogous wake-up call will resurrect you from your soul numbness in the coming week, Virgo.



    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    Give yourself a treat you've been denying yourself far too long. Get a friend to give you a ride in a wheelbarrow. Use one of your so-called flaws strategically. Have a staring contest with a snake. Take shopping lessons from an expert. Using a felt-tip pen, inscribe a sacred poem or symbol on a new pair of underpants, thereby transforming it into your special magic underwear that will make intriguing things happen whenever you wear them. Whisper a taboo secret while moving very fast, preferably on a roller coaster. Say a rowdy prayer each time you lick a Tootsie Roll Pop, and don't stop until you reach the center. Round up someone –- pay him or her if necessary -- to be your yes-man or yes-woman for 24 hours.


    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    After studying the cosmic omens, I realized I'd be unable to glean your oracle until I was standing on holy ground. I left immediately for Spirit Rock Meditation Center, a Buddhist sanctuary near my home. There I sought out the outdoor prayer wheel, a brightly painted wooden cylinder inscribed with noble phrases like "wise speech" and "wise intention." Buddhists believe that when this ritual device is spun on its axis, spiritual blessings are cast in all directions. As I reached for one of the handles to give it a whirl, I spied an awesome sight: Four salamanders had arrayed themselves on the section of the wheel that read "wise livelihood." I knew I'd found my message for you, Scorpio. This week, do everything possible to get closer to making your money by serving your highest ideals.


    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    In 1977, English professor Coleman Barks had a dream that changed his life. In the dream, he was relaxing on a riverbank near his childhood home in Georgia. A ball of light floated towards him. It contained a man with his head bowed and eyes closed, sitting cross-legged and wearing a white shawl. The man raised his head, opened his eyes, and said, "I love you," and Barks answered, "I love you, too." Some time after this dream, he met the same mysterious figure in waking life. It was a Sri Lankan holy man, Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, who ultimately set Barks on the path to becoming a translator of the dead mystic poet Rumi. Today Rumi's books are bestsellers, largely due to Barks. I predict you will soon have a dream with equally potent possibilities for your fate, Sagittarius. I hope to God you remember it and write it down.



    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    The "problem" you now face is unprecedented: You are seeing too clearly, thinking too crisply, and speaking too forthrightly. Normally I would celebrate this state of affairs, but right now it's preventing you from even discovering, let alone taking advantage of the subtle opportunities that life is offering you. These opportunities will only make themselves known if you relax your piercing gaze and invoke what we might call fuzzy logic. You know how at night you can see better if you look out of the corners of your eyes?



    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    I've rarely seen astrological aspects so favorable for sublimating your libido in the quest for sublime truth. You will have cosmic law on your side if you attempt to do what a few mystics have claimed to accomplish: fall in love with the Divine Wow. Please note that the right kind of human partner can facilitate this erotic breakthrough; the wrong kind will distract you from it. Now read what the Indian saint Ramakrishna had to say: "Mad! One must become mad with love to realize God. When one attains ecstatic love of God, all the pores of the skin, even the roots of the hair, become like so many sex organs, and in every pore the aspirant enjoys the happiness of communion with the supreme universal self."



    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    You remind me of that rare hybrid known as the puwo, a cross between a poodle and a wolf. When the poodle part of you is dominant, you're nervous, elegant, and beautiful in a fragile way. When the wolf aspect is in control, you're wild, restless, and ferocious in a style that's enigmatic and potentially dangerous. Sometimes, when the two facets are equally balanced, you're an unpredictable X factor: nervous and wild, elegant and restless, fragile and ferocious. How much longer can you sustain this crazy-making drama? I hope and predict you'll finish no later than August 20, since after that you won't be able to get away with it.
     
  2. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    "This week, do everything possible to get closer to making your money by serving your highest ideals."

    yea.
    i'm going camping on a small island for the next week.
    no money schemes allowed.
     
  3. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  4. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    i hope so virgo, i hope so..
     
  5. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    my underwear now say ultraman...in silver.
     
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    onionscope

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    Things suddenly get awkward when your coworkers notice your resemblance to the Easter Island statues and put two and two together.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    You'll be damned if you know what those guys on the Spanish-language station are saying, but they're definitely having a much better time than you are.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    It's time to acknowledge that your "trusty right-hand man" is really just a little face you drew on your thumb and forefinger.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    When the credits roll at the end of your life, the words "Directed By Henry Jaglom" will go a long way toward explaining things.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    This week's events will give you cause to reconsider the wisdom of the phrase "Never give up."

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    Stop telling everyone you are popular with the ladies. Only your magnificent body is popular with the ladies.
    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    There is nothing morally wrong with anal sex, but your failure to exercise sufficient precautions has gotten you ass-pregnant.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    You will abandon your attempt to make the world's largest pancake after finding out how depressingly serious other people are about it.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    There's nothing wrong with waiting tables while waiting for your big break, unless you're that girl Annette at the corner diner.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    You are the very picture of goodwill, honesty, and social grace. Note that use of the word "picture" also implies a certain two-dimensionality.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    You have many thoughtful questions about fate, destiny, and the future. It's a shame so many concern the Red Sox.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    Sometimes, there are things a friend is too nice to tell you. Luckily, you don't have any friends like that.
     
  7. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    It's time to acknowledge that your "trusty right-hand man" is really just a little face you drew on your thumb and forefinger.


    HAHAHA!
     
  8. beardo

    beardo Guest

    damnit dude, where did this thread title come from, i know it, but i cant place it
     
  9. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  10. beardo

    beardo Guest

    i keel yoo mon
     
  11. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    Black Star

    i get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown
    well what am i to do?
    i know all the things around your head and what they do to you.
    what are we coming to?
    what are we gonna do?

    blame it on the black star
    blame it on the falling sky
    blame it on the satellite that beams me home.

    the troubled words of a troubled mind i try to understand what is eating you.
    i try to stay awake but its 58hours since that i last slept with you.
    what are we coming to?
    i just don't know anymore.

    i get on the train and i just stand about now that i don't think of you.
    i keep falling over i keep passing out when i see a face like you.
    what am i coming to?
    i'm gonna melt down
     
  12. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    if there is a god, i will hear that live and in person before i leave this rock floating in space
     
  13. beardo

    beardo Guest

    jesus christ, its from my favorite song on that album even :freak:

    id kill to hear it as well

    MSG msg MSG msg
     
  14. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
  15. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    He called me a happy bitch! Everytime I read his horoscopes it feels like I'd be sitting on the can and all of a sudden this ominous voice reverbrates through the room "Hey, hey ob, it's me rob, I just wanted you to know, that I know what hand you wipe with dude..." And I'm like "WTF! ROB!?!".
     
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