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Jesus vs Sgt. Slaughter

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by OPIUM3, May 14, 2002.

  1. OPIUM3

    OPIUM3 Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2001 Messages: 1,315 Likes Received: 0
    Back in the day, I always got confused with what my parents told me about the lord Jesus Christ, and about what i knew as lord, Sargeant Slaughter. I mean, Seargant Slaughter was the best. He always saved the day and always made sure to blow tons of shit up. But my parents told me that jesus always saved the day too."But he never blew anything up" i replied. "Well blowing things up doesn't make him any better than Jesus." they said.

    Okay, just to let you know about the awesome power of Sgt. Slaughter, here he is showing off just how tough he is beating Hulk Hogans ass by kicking his ass out of the ring, and spitting on his face disgracing Hulk Hogan.
    http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingImagesS/slaughter_hogan.jpg'>

    take notice as to who is next to get their ass beat by the all powerfull Sgt. Slaughter. Is that... it is... Its none other than Saddam Hussein!

    Okay, now here is Sgt. Slaughter's autographed photo to me (mikey) taking out my uncle Aaron. This picture was taken right before he snapped uncle Aaron's neck in half with hardly any effort! That man used to whip me with his belt until Sgt. Slaughter got a hold of him. Now he's 6 ft. deep cause he whipped me one to many times.
    [img]http://www.eagle-sports.com/Photos/signings/carrollslaughter.JPG'>

    Now that you've seen how cool Sgt. Slaugher is, here is some of Jesus' tricks.

    Here is jesus showing off how he can shoot lasers out of his hands. I admit this is a cool trick, but Sgt. Slaugter would just absorb this energy, and shoot it right back at Jesus.

    [img]http://www.jesusredeems.com/images/jesus.jpg'>

    This is what jesus looks like after Sgt. Slaughter ripped his heart out and put in one of those army Glo-Sticks and gave it back to him. Being the pesky opponent Jesus is, he now uses it to his advantage and now Jesus has night vision. Night vision in use shown just below it.
    [img]http://www.catholic.net/RCC/Sacred_Heart/jesus1.gif'>
    [img]http://static.spiritweb.org/MyImages/HigherBeings/portray/Jesus-Sananda-4.jpg'>

    But night vision or no night vision, Sgt. Slaughter doesn't take no shit from nobody. Even if that nobody happens to be the son of god. Sgt. Slaughter had a few tricks up his sleeve when battling jesus the second time. (he ripped his heart out in the first battle.) Sgt. Slaughter turned jesus into wood, and therefore making him useless and will eventually be cut down and turned into paper, or a nice coffee table.

    [img]http://www.quebecweb.com/ancienscanadiens/images/jesus.jpg'>
     
  2. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
    haha thanks, that made me laugh on this shitty shitty nite.

    sgt slaughter is fucking ill. but i think oolong is probably better than him and christ.
     
  3. Stoney Blaze

    Stoney Blaze Guest

  4. Stoney Blaze

    Stoney Blaze Guest

    hey!

    i did'nt know you could post flicks from google....:idea:
     
  5. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    hulk hogan would kick srgt. slaughter ass.

    HULKAMANIA FOREVER!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. OPIUM3

    OPIUM3 Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2001 Messages: 1,315 Likes Received: 0
    Re: hey!

    no way, Sgt. Slaughter could balance pancakes on his dome just as easy as ooolong. He can also fight the powers of darkness by saying no to drugs!


    shhh...
     
  7. OPIUM3

    OPIUM3 Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2001 Messages: 1,315 Likes Received: 0
    no way. Sgt. Slaughter would never launch a pussy ass music career like Hulk Hogan.

    http://www.hulkster.co.uk/album_cover.jpg'>

    Does the word "SLAUGHTER" mean anything to you? Yeah thats right... Slaughter meaning he tore Hulk Hogan apart. I'm using past tense because as you can see in the picture above, he fuckin spit in Hulk Hogans face just before he tore him apart. Sgt. Slaughter beat the son of god TWICE! And later turned him into wood... And Hulk Hogan did a pussy ass music album

    [url=http://www.hulkster.co.uk/album.htm]http://www.hulkster.co.uk/album.htm[/url] <--- check this link to see his pussy song lists! ha ha ha Sgt. Slaughter Old, but not forgotten!
     
  8. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    what in the hell is SADDAM HUSSIEN doing in that first picture?
     
  9. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

     
  10. OPIUM3

    OPIUM3 Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2001 Messages: 1,315 Likes Received: 0
    ha ha, yes i'm a dork, but so is Hulk Hogan. Did you check out his play list??? I wish Sgt. Slaughter would have got to Hulk Hogan before he released that album. Oh well, Sgt. Slaughter is the man, and one day, we're going to "tag up again real soon" (not in a gay way) to beat up other people like Rick Flair, and Calista Flockhart, and maybe some of the Fraggle Rock Muppets. I'm gonna start eating nothing but raw eggs from now on and pumping iron like every day. Yeahhhh! this is going to be BADDICALLLL!!
     
  11. platapie

    platapie Guest

    slaughter has a bit more on jesus i think.
     
  12. pukey1

    pukey1 Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 10, 2001 Messages: 2,996 Likes Received: 0
    jesus... get it?
    :lol:
    good shit
    ~:crazy:puKE
     
  13. rip

    rip Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 10, 2001 Messages: 2,667 Likes Received: 0
    ahahahahah hell yes sgt.slaughter will murder jesus, the ultimate warrior an slaughter would make a good tag team yo.
     
  14. dai

    dai Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 30, 2001 Messages: 1,052 Likes Received: 0
    this thread was almost interesting.
     
  15. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
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