my girlfriend that's 'in love with me' hasnt made time for me in 3 weeks, and i've tryed making time for her but something comes up, or she blows it off and changes the subject when i ask her about it. i think she's cheating on me too, with more than one person, and today she told me "right now my friends are more important than a boyfriend"...so now im entitled as a 'boyfriend'. ever since my 18th birthday, which most of who i would call 'my closest friends' forgot it was my birthday, and half of them decided not to show up at my hotel. my dad has been up my ass about getting a job, he's a complete asshole. i try to get along with him, but it doesnt work. he's always bitchin, and he's a real bad alcoholic. if you know me, you know how my pops is. i act like it doesn't bother me, but it eats at me, i'll never have respect for him like a son should have for a father. im behind in my courses, i've been really unmotivated and have no ambition at all lately. i feel like im gonna go nowhere in life. i dont know what to do anymore, i just ride the days out as they come at me. i think im becoming an alcoholic, and i've been doin alot of valium too. i dont know what it is, i really think i have emotional problems, but i dont know about seeing a psychiatrist. oh well, life goes on, nobody ever said it would be easy.