alkaline Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 I don't claim to know everything. But I do know that the scariest part of having an alcoholic parent is waking up every day and realizing that you could turn into the same person. My dad drank when I was a kid. He hasn't had a drink in nearly ten years, but I still think about it. I've been hit before. I've been embarassed by him. I've been mad at him. But I forgive him for all the things he's done. He raised me. I haven't seen my mother since I was 8. She basically decided that she didn't want my brother and me anymore. She stopped writing and calling. It's hard for a child to understand something like that. Hell it's still hard as an adult to understand. And yes it does effect me. Every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaztieGirl Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 ...who has younger siblings that grew up pretty much with no parenting ...what's the most likely route parents who only know how to scream if they are anything but drunk (no talking in this house)........they blame everything on you and everything becomes your responsibility especially if you're the oldest....they waste money that could be paying the bills.......they drive drunk.......they blackout and don't remember shit........they forget to think about the realism of their actions when they tell the fucking pitbull to attack you, they're just playing but the dog doesn't know that and you can't run you can't do anything about it because they pinned you in a chair........ They decide to seek help and go to their first aa meeting on your 21st birthday and they ask you to come for support and you do because you love them and you want it to stop........and they're in a bar 2 days later. I've been embarassed, hit, lied too, ashamed, scared I'll turn out like them........and I wouldn't change one moment of my life because I got the perfect example of how not to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaztieGirl Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 ..and every blue moon..one child is born..and they are so determined to break that pattern.. .......and blessid be for those blue moons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 blah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobobi11 Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 Okay, here is a little bit from my own personal history. Not nearly as bleak as the stories above and for that I am grateful, but maybe this will give you a different view from the other side. I was born into an upper middle class family, spoiled rotten, all that "rich" kid bs. My parents were nearly 40 when I was born and my older siblings were 12, 14, and 16 years older. My parents had a terrible marriage that they stayed in for the kid's sake. I was given just about everything I wanted except attention. I don't ever remember my mother saying she loved me. Dad was cool and we hung out with our horses. 5th grade, dad's business goes bankrupt, and so does the marriage. Turns out it was more for the money that had my mom sticking around not the kids. Fast forward to an ugly divorce and custody case. About a year later I decide during a visitation weekend that I want to live with dad. Mom fights, I go to 5 or 6 schools that year, live with my sister for awhile and then end up with my dad. Since that time I have seen my mom once or twice, and talked to her on the phone once. It was not me she was fighting for, but the child support that came with me. There were other issues there as well, but basically after 6th grade I went from being a "rich" kid to being a poor one. I have struggled financially ever since. I have made very poor choices in my life that led me to get married very early, separate, have a child, get back with 1st hubby, divorce, no college, crappy jobs, etc. I am finally starting to get my shit together, but I still notice things all the time. My dad died unexpectedly about 5 years ago, this still bugs me all the time. Still haven't talked to mom. About 3 years ago my grandma died and no one in my family told me for three months, so no further contact with siblings. This makes it hard sometimes with my own family. Being able to show them I love them is important. But it is hard to show them the family stuff, wehn I really have no contact with my own. I just keep hoping that they will grow up realizing that the love and support is so much more important than material things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jah Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 holy shit..... ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alkaline Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 I hear you on that, bobobi. I had a pretty big fight with my fiance this past weekend about lots of things, but what it really came down to was that I'm scared that I'm gonna commit to her 100% and she'll leave me wrecked and broken hearted. It all goes back to my mother leaving me when I was little. All the things I dealt with as a child have effected my judgement, thought proccess and my ability to let other people in. I keep a very small circle of friends. I don't talk much, and when I do, usually something pecemistic (sp?) comes out of my mouth. It's not that I'm a negative person ... I just have a hard time expecting good things out of the world. We talked for a long time, and things are good again between us (my fiance and I), but she realized that I'm not always going to see things the way that she does. Sometimes I wish that things had been different, but I know that I wouldn't be the same person that I am today. A lot of people don't understand how I can be happy with my life when I'm so stoic and closed off, but it's all I know. I don't feel complete unless there is something in my life that I can work to make better ... like that song "Everything Falls Apart." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobobi11 Posted January 3, 2002 Share Posted January 3, 2002 On the other side of the coin, I have been attracted to the "broken ones" all my life and have been involved with many people who lived the rough life described by others above. Some of these have gone on to bigger better things and are live well adjusted lives. The majority still have major problems, some of which are readily apparent and others that you have to look a little closer to see. I think that maybe 1% of the nation is happy and satisfied with their lives. The other 99% of us are pretty dysfunctional in one way or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wild turkey Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 my mom was a junkie. that sucked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeaztieGirl Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 If any of you are kids that still live at home and are subjected to alcoholism on a daily basis as so many of us were my heart goes out ot you. You're not alone. Just get mentally buff! Cause that shit is ruff and tuff and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 Shit, now that I'm sober enough, I realize what a sad thread this became... so never mind what I said before. Beer, El Mamerro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wakassOATH Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted January 4, 2002 Share Posted January 4, 2002 my parents weren't alcoholics, they were invisible. i'd see em for like an hour a week when i was growing up. always working or doing shit. so i kept myself busy writing my name on stuff and got myself a serious drug habit for my 14th birthday. i finally got clean and got my shit together at the age of 21, and now shit is peachy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wakassOATH Posted January 5, 2002 Share Posted January 5, 2002 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking Posted January 5, 2002 Author Share Posted January 5, 2002 after being lured out of my room by the strange sound of pounding, i walked into the kitchen to find mom attempting to open a bottle of wine with a hammer and a screwdriver. it seems conventional means were too difficult(?) to be bothered with. after taking that bottle and the rest that i could find lying around the kitchen, it was back to the bedroom. 10 minutes later, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, GOT IT!!!!! go and retrieve bottle number two. spend the next 3 hours opening my door to find an outstretched hand with an arby's wine glass at its end, asking for just one more glass, thats all she wanted. slam. repeat. slam. repeat. im by far old enough to were at this point, its more anoying than it is hurtful. why should i have to be the parent? im going through the same shit, wheres my security blanket? oh yeah, its in the top of her closet, concealing the other 3 bottles she has stashed... yeah for todays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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