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Guest --zeSto--

**Virus Warning**

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Guest --zeSto--

VIRUS WARNING

 

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.

The following are damages recorded so far from the virus:

 

a.. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive,

but it will also delete anything on disks within

20 feet of your computer.

a.. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards.

a.. It reprograms your ATM access code, Screws up the

tracking on your VCR and uses subspace harmonics

to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

a.. It will program your phone auto-dial to call only 900 numbers.

a.. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

a.. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

a.. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??

a.. It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table

when you are expecting company.

a.. It will replace your shampoo with Nair

and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current

boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing

their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

a.. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way

that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

a.. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active

verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable

misspellings which grossly change interpretations of

key sentences.

a.. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98

environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave

your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from mattresses

and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

 

******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN **********

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oh jesus christ... i wondered how long it would take someone to post this piece of humorless humor...

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Guest --zeSto--

you dont think it's funny?

 

I'm sure there's AOL users running for the hills right about now.

now THAT'S funny!

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you know whats really funny? those pop up windows that you cant close without going into task manager....the ones that say "whores taking goats in all three holes" really really big....it funny to think how many computer illiterate dads got busted by one of those....yeah, those are a lot funnier than email forwards....

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Guest --zeSto--

no doubt boogie...

 

the best one though...

are the pop-up-goat-sucker-windows

that change your home page.

So Mom and little sis need to get help for a school project,

and instead of opening msn.com it opens japscat.com

 

I can picture some suburban Dad ripping the power cable out of the wall

because he doesn't know how to close the windows. har de har har

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