i found my path to sobriety easiest when i was angry at my own behavior.
i mediated on what i was doing that was creating problems for me until it made me WANT to stop doing it.
i'm not sure it's ever easy for anyone though... no matter what
when the rough patches come my mind drifts to the warmth some of those highs can provide
but it never lasts and i'm not sure it's worth the trouble
people fuckin suck.
right now we're at a very conflicted point in our culture. so much violence and hatred everywhere.
best of luck to you.
i'm glad you have a lady to lean on.