...the thread about beergoggles,bar hopping,missing time,and other adventures drunk..

[MOOGLE?]

....it all started on friday posting on 12 oz for a few minutes at 7 am.

 

i jumped on my longboard at 8 am and headed for the grocery store to cash my check. it was a cool fall morning with all the sounds of my suburban suroundings muted by the loud headphones on my ears blasting gwar as loud as possible with me screaming preteen prostitute at the top of my lungs between puffs off a black&mild as i headed 4mph across town to cash my check.

 

with cash in hand i decided to skip buying breakfast as well as going to ma bells bar wich would be followed by a few beers hitting on white girls heading to the bar for a few beers after third shift at whatever factory the worked at, then followed by a day of crate digging records at the many thrift stores in town..

 

no.. i had bigger plans

 

with haste i set forth to find my droogs who work third shift and go to a bar on friday mornings to start the weekends. 8:40 am and im flying downhill toward the bar. as i arive i hop off the bar and slide in with my usual look as though i have no idea of what is going on around me..but no luck they are not there, so i say screw it and set off to ma bells. but by chance i happend to see one of my friends sitting outside some noname bar rolling a joint. he invites me in to join in a game of pool and to my surprise the whole gang is there.

 

2:27 pm after twelve beers, two pitchers, one and a half glasses of jack and coke, three shots of rum. i sat at the bar looking around at everyone having a good time. as i looked across the room i came into direct eye contact with a woman who was of slim build teased bleached blonde hair. it was obviouse from her sun damaged skin and way she drunkenly tried to balance herself on the bar stool .that she was not only in her fourties,white, and really fuckin drunk...but she also gave me the eye ..that come hither and talk into my ear because the jukebox is blasting and nobody will know what was said eye .

so i slid off my seat making sure none of my friends saw me walk torward this woman. i stopped and leaned into her ear and told her to meet me in the mens room 2(this bar is also a club upstairs on weekends) .

 

3:40 pm after lots of drunken gropping,sloppy blowjobs, unbalanced screwing, slurred moaning, not to mention convincing her that condoms are a good thing. i slid back downstairs only to meet her husband at the bottom of the steps. so i acted as though i knew nothing. and kept walking on slinked back into the stool grabbed another bottle and lit a ciggarette. but as my luck would have it the woman decidedes to leave the side of her ..rather larger biker looking husband comes right over to me, and forces her tounge into my mouth. i thought about pushing her away but she managed to get her hand into my underwear. i look up and this big guy is readying himself for a punch to my head.

 

7:00 pm i wake up on my friends couch to the sound of his dog humping the hell out of its favorite giant stuffed ape in the center of the living room , and n.w.a blasting in the next room.

 

my head was pounding my body hurt and i had vomit in my dreads..

 

7:24

 

so after dry heaving for ten minutes with two of my friends laughing their asses off behind me. they decide to tell me what happened.

 

the guy decked me on the side of the head wich caused me to bump my head into the woman that was molesting me. i stood up called him some garbled bad words and tried to swing at him. he moves aside and i missed by two miles , three of my friends tackle the guy and beging beating the hell out of him until he's a bloody pulp( but for a reason i dont believe the triple teaming part). i wobbled to the car to get my board so i could beat the guy with it and passed out in the parking lot.

 

 

9:00 pm my system is full of codene, coffee, and dimatap...and i have a 20 winning streak on guilty gear x2.

 

 

12:16 am..we get to the keg party..lotsa white girls so i decide to play up the ghetto thug fantasy role that most suburban under 18 white girls never get to realize for lack of black folk in town.

 

 

1:00 am saturday... bumping and grinding breakdancing an poplocking i was a fool on the dancefloor

 

 

2:00 am... i was like "how old?" she said " 16 ." so i said " wanna fuck?"

 

2:30 am on a dirty couch in whoknowswherethehell wisconsin at a kegger thrown by highschool kids with my finger inside the netherlips of jailbait....and all i could think about was where i left my longboard

 

3:00 ..i get a ride home to get some condoms and steal my roomates car keys

 

 

4:00 am ..in back of a super walmart sitting alone with this girly from the party in my roomates minivan with my pants down condom on...and she say's " well..................i'm a virgin"

 

 

6:57 am i drop her off across town home and whisper promises in her ear that i'll call her and that i think i'm falling in love with her.

 

7:10 am get back to the pad and decide not to clean the blood off the car seat......its not my car anyway

 

7:11 am ...call up the homey fleck and ask him what the gameplan is tonight..he say's " bethany is full fledged budded!!" and i thought a second because its somthing i had not done in over a year , so i replied "well fleck its 4:20 somwhere in the universe, grab a stem off bethany and dry it out . i'll be over in ten minutes."

 

8:00 am..... still looking for my longboard

 

 

10:43 am...end up walking over to flecks house.

 

11:00 am ..stoned off my ass playing halo

 

 

11:20.....could swear its been two hours

 

12:00 noon...got started on a eighteen pack of bud light

 

2:00 pm got started on flecks' jager and kessler

 

 

4:00.....realized i sucked at halo.....stupid banshees..also out of liquor

 

 

 

4:30 pm get to the gas station ..buy two twelve packs and some gum.

 

 

4:56 walking back to flecks we bump into an aquaintance who just so happened to owe me a large sum of money. deals where struck, we took a detour .

 

 

6:00 pm got back to flecks with 300$ worth of (no drug talk so i will call it) super mario's power ups.

 

 

6:25....so my rashionale isnt so good at the moment...

 

 

7:13 pm..fleck and i came to the conclusion that 9 caps and two stems for each of us was a bit much....

 

 

8:00 pm.....flecks poster of a naked carmen elektra kept telling me " kick,punch its all in your mind if you wanna test me i'm sure your fine,,the things i teach are sure to beat ya..now kick!"

 

 

 

 

9:00 pm....as i finish the last beer while looking at the poster i realized that fleck was playing parappa the rapper.

 

 

10:17 pm...we get a call....lets go clubbing

 

 

1:00 am sunday i walk outsidefelling really fucking out of place with reality and i walk into the parking lot of the same bar i was at friday. i keep walking torward the nearby train tracks and i see my board laying in the brush.

 

 

3:39 am.. i wake up on the trampoline in my backyard with my board on my chest my headphones on but not plugged into anything, and a bag of gummi worms ripped open next to my shoulder.

 

 

4:30 i get out of the shower and pass out on my bed.

 

 

 

so how was your weekend?

[Emett_Ray]

eh, got drunk and shot a bunch of rats at the dump.

[Evil Dee]

Originally posted by MOOGLE?

....it all started on friday posting on 12 oz for a few minutes at 7 am.

 

8:00 pm.....flecks poster of a naked carmen elektra kept telling me " kick,punch its all in your mind if you wanna test me i'm sure your fine,,the things i teach are sure to beat ya..now kick!"

 

 

 

 

9:00 pm....as i finish the last beer while looking at the poster i realized that fleck was playing parappa the rapper.

 

I've had that before.

 

Sounds like an awesome weekend. Party on Wayne.

[jenoz]

just woke up...

i love pharmaceuticals

[MOOGLE?]

yea but i wish i knew how i found my longboard in that spot...and when the hell i bought gummi worms

[Gunm]

moogle, yours truly was the standout of weekends. i did nothing more than host my gf up here where i live in (blank), got drunk, ate some Lorazepam, saw Kill bill, hit my gf doggie style in the shower while i drank screwdriver from a thermos friday night, got drunk with gf all day saturday, ate some more Lorazepam and went to see School of Rock, and today i have been crashing from all that excess while catching up on a shitload of reading. yah.

[Guest imported_El Mamerro]

Hahahahahaha, pretty fucking sick stuff. My weekend was shit.

[Guest sneak]

haha, great story..

now if only there were flicks...