23578 Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 4:48PM Wed. November 20th, 2002: In a drastic move today the Government seized the stacks of the Philadelphia Public Library, stating that finally, after two hundred and fifty years of free book lending, the publishing industry has won it's battle against one of the biggest book lending institution in the country. "These people have been lending books out to anybody without charge, indiscriminately", says an unidentified spokesperson for a major book publisher. "I was just sitting at the check out desk reading the paper when the marshals arrived and told me we were to 'shut it down'", says 53 year old Ruth Billington, librarian, and once avid cheese steak luncher. "These books were my livelyhood, what will I do now, my cat is going to starve to death if mommy doesn't find something quickly", she laments. At 53, Ruth isn't prepared to enter the real world, "I don't remember the last time I was actually asked to make something, but if you want to know where to find the latest Sidney Sheldon novel, or the address for Peterson's Potash Supply in Wacachucka, Minnesota, just ask me." Whoa, no longer, the books aren't for just anyone anymore. When asked what will happen to all the books, the taskforce leader speculates, "they will probably be quarrantined for such and such a time, then maybe they will sit while we figure out their best possible deployment", a daunting task with libraries in every town in 50 states. When told of the event, the head librarian of the NYC Public Library System, Bill Sanderson, was openly defiant, "Yo, just let them come and try to take my books. . .we aren't going out that easy". No, Bill, I don't believe you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dyptheria Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 mmmm, okay. enough national enquirer crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23578 Posted November 20, 2002 Author Share Posted November 20, 2002 You know me dude, always with the National Enquirer crap, what can I say to defend myself there, um, screw you nerd.:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 bollocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 lemme guess... another gem from The Onion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 or perhaps, the govt actually shut it down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ctrl+alt+del Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 chew gum while reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dusty Lipschitz Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 thank god i have an book that was due back 2.5 years ago... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 Originally posted by sneak or perhaps, the govt actually shut it down yeah, adn gullable isn't in the dictionary.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intangible Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 Originally posted by !@#$% yeah, adn gullable isn't in the dictionary.. Since when!?!? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23578 Posted November 21, 2002 Author Share Posted November 21, 2002 Originally posted by !@#$% lemme guess... another gem from The Onion? ?guess again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Originally posted by !@#$% yeah, adn gullable isn't in the dictionary.. really? never knew that one... doh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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