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Boris The Butcher

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    DODGED BULLETS

    in Channel Zero

    Posted · Edited by Boris The Butcher

    I have decided to drop this tale. Some may not like it, some will have their entire lives changed by it. But here it is. I lived in a small town. A lot of the folks were farmers and country. Back then, I was skinny as fuck and though I had about eight inches erect, no girl would ever have known because I had no mouthpiece and no game. Well in this town, there is a college and I went there. I was pretty shy and there was this white girl that came there once and I noticed that during class, she would be looking at your boy. Looked like her mouth was watering and shit as well. She was fine as fuck brehs, I wanted to holla, but I was frightened by her european sexuality brehs. Anyways, I had gone to the bathroom one day and I heard the door open and when I looked down at the floor, I noticed some hairy-ass hobbit feet standing in front of my stall. They were encased in timbs but with the toes cut out so the feet could breathe. The toenails were sharp like the fingers of warren sapp . I came out and she told me that we were going out that weekend. We did. We went to the putt putt golf and I had my arms all around her showing her how to hit and I noticed she had some hairy and strong forearms. Like vlade divac level forearms. And there was pro-level power in them as well. Like this one time, a bird flew towards me and she caught it in midair and threw it so far that it disappeared on the horizon. She had the throwing power of joe namath. Her senses and reflexes were off the charts brehs. Anyway, it was not long before she taught me the ways of the bedroom and though she was a bit rough and did not quite understand the concept of ‘safe words’ and ‘going beyond boundaries,’ I fell pretty hard for her. One time she tied me up and I had to talk her down from some pretty weird shit from my stomach like some kind of hostage negotiator. She had the fattest, most round ass that I’d ever seen. A true european ass, and some hooge tittons as well. She insisted they were real though I suspected otherwise. 

     

     

    Things went well but eventually there were urban myths of people having their chickens attacked and then someone robbed a bank and on the surveillance video it was some kind of teen-wolf like creature wearing a ronald reagan mask. All these things occurred on nights with a full moon. I cared nothing for this as I never walked around at night. Ever since this dude had gotten raped coming out of western sizzlin, I always carried a whistle. But this one time, I was out driving and my ford tempo broke down in a bad part of town. As I lifted the hood, a group of ordinary vagrants, not homosexual ones, approached me. They caught me with my guard down so I did not have my whistle. They told me they were mechanics and that I probably needed a new ‘pump.’ I told them that I had called the tow truck but they knew that to be a lie bc they’d seen that I had a tracfone and was out of minutes. All of a sudden they attacked me and I tried to fight them off and strangely, all of their attacks were like going for the ass and the groin area and shit. It was mad weird. But it was then that I noticed the moon. It was high and full brehs. Without warning, I heard a shriek and then there was something amongst us. I was thrown to the ground and saw a large bipedal creature that had been cursed by god. There was hair all over it, and the smell of mayonnaise or cool whip hung in the air. It had torn into the vagrants and they stood no chance. They would all have been killed if not for one thing that saved them. One of them was well-read in the literature of the paranormal and he produced a silver crucifix that he stabbed into one of the creature’s breasts. Instantly saline solution flew from there and the fake breast exploded. They slunk out and the beast fell paralyzed to the ground. In case you did not know, silver paralyzes them. The beast was being burned by the holy relic. As I turned to run away, I heard a familiar voice. 'Boris you must help me! I cannot move!’ ‘what? How can you speak english? How do you know my name?’ ‘help me and then we can be together for eternity.’ brehs, the next day the authorities found a puddle of ectoplasm with a silver crucifix sitting in it. The whole thing was not something that happens often in my town.

     

     

    I should not say that it was her, but stefaniuh was never seen again. But the thing was, when it was fucking up all them dudes, it had shrieked at me then turned its attention to one on the ground, I saw an image of horror, in its incredible rage, the beast had assumed the doggystyle position, and there was the same fat ass that I had been giving backshots to for the past six months. It was covered with about 200 percent more hair but I recognized it. And as well, it was the same ass that had mesmerized me into my current obsession with bringing salted and cured meats into the bedroom. A beast of the night turned me into a freak brehs which I still am to this day. There are those that will not and cannot believe, but there is another world beneath this one and if you go there brehs, you will be turned into a freak and degenerate of society.

    • Props 2
    • LOL! 1

    Brehs-------

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    So I was out at the space simulator with my girl lalinda and after I got out the zero gravity chamber, she went to the bathroom, this group of little college aged white girls came up to me and asked to take a picture with me. If you don't know, I have been told that I could be a serious competitor in bodybuilding, but I take my combat training far too seriously for that so there's no time. Also, I drive a honda civic on chrome. But anyway, these little white girls were asking to touch on my arms and all this shit, which I allowed them to, and a couple of times, some of them bent over and there was 'incidental' contact between pelvises, and when they left, Lalinda saw all of this go down and was pretty distraught so right then and there I broke it off. Then some middle-aged, balding scrub with a golden state warriors shirt on came up to me and was all like 'how can I get that kind of reaction from women sir?' I basically looked this dude up and down once, then turned my back on him and I could feel his presence behind me for a moment and then he walked off once he got the hint. 

     

    This guy was like 5'0 193 lbs of pure fat, not an ounce of testosterone in his entire bloodstream. And I looked out the window and seen he got in a prius also. But brehs, if you want to get these females like many of you do, you need to get in the gym or be doing some kind of physical labor every day------Discuss

    • LOL! 3

    Brehs-------

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    13 minutes ago, CALIgula said:

    How did lalinda feel about this butch slapping your ass though? 

    Next round might have to be the girls going at it breh.

    Broke up with Lalinda over an incident that happened at the space simulator on monday---------

    • LOL! 2
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