1. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum...
    You are currently logged out and viewing our forum as a guest which only allows limited access to our discussions, photos and other forum features. If you are a 12ozProphet Member please login to get the full experience.

    If you are not a 12ozProphet Member, please take a moment to register to gain full access to our website and all of its features. As a 12ozProphet Member you will be able to post comments, start discussions, communicate privately with other members and access members-only content. Registration is fast, simple and free, so join today and be a part of the largest and longest running Graffiti, Art, Style & Culture forum online.

    Please note, if you are a 12ozProphet Member and are locked out of your account, you can recover your account using the 'lost password' link in the login form. If you no longer have access to the email you registered with, please email us at info@12ozprophet.com and we'll help you recover your account. Welcome to the 12ozProphet Forum (and don't forget to follow @12ozprophet in Instagram)!

THOSE AT WORK, WAYS TO HAVE PEOPLE STAY AWAY FROM YOU:

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by ETHREADZNY, Nov 21, 2002.

  1. ETHREADZNY

    ETHREADZNY 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2002
    Messages:
    3,129

    THOSE AT WORK, WAYS TO HAVE PEOPLE STAY AWAY FROM YOU:

    Discussion started by ETHREADZNY - Nov 21, 2002

    YEP< ANOTHER LONG ANNOYING LIST OF THINGS YOU CAN DO...

    ARE YOU AT WORK< AND WANT PEOPLE TO LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE?


    Insanity helpers

    Spend an afternoon riding in an elevator, grinning broadly at everyone who gets on. They will look puzzled and look away. When they look back at you and see you still grinning, announce "I've got new socks on!" (Thanks to Dan Quella)

    Run one lap around the office at top speed.

    Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

    Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

    Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

    To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

    When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

    Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

    Walk sideways to the photocopier.

    While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

    Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

    Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

    Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

    Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

    For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

    Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

    After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

    While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

    In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

    At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

    In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

    Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

    Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

    Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

    Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

    Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

    Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

    Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

    Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

    During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

    Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

    Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

    Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.

    Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

    At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

    Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

    Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

    Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

    Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

    Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

    Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

    Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

    Don't use any punctuation.

    As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    Ask people what sex they are.

    Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

    Sing along at the opera.

    Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).

    Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

    Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

    Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

    Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

    Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Hard'.

    When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"

    When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

    Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

    Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
     
    ETHREADZNY - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    3,129
    - Joined:
    Feb 11, 2002
  2. sneak

    sneak Guest

    sneak - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    01
     
  3. 455

    455 Guest

    455 - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    I am usually an asshole.......I drink every night so I never feel up to par the next day.......
     
  4. yoshy

    yoshy 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2000
    Messages:
    738

    yoshy - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    classic!


    Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
     
    yoshy - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
    738
    - Joined:
    Jun 23, 2000
  5. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
    Messages:
    14,905

    Weapon X - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    oh man...*gasping for breath* - shit is hilarious!
     
    Weapon X - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
    14,905
    - Joined:
    Sep 6, 2002
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- 12oz Veteran Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2000
    Messages:
    6,979

    --zeSto-- - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    haha!

    my boss does a few of these.

    He'll get on the intercom with his best Kermit the Frog impression.
    Make daily references to his schlong
    Changes your homepage to something really embarasing
    Orders lunch for the company then tell one person that they have to pick up the tab (he's usually joking)
    Act like he completely forgot it's payday, then says he blew all the paychecks on a game of pool.

    and this is the boss!
     
    --zeSto-- - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
    6,979
    - Joined:
    Jul 12, 2000
  7. yoshy

    yoshy 12oz Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2000
    Messages:
    738

    yoshy - Replied Nov 21, 2002

    you work for marl red? ^^
     
    yoshy - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
    738
    - Joined:
    Jun 23, 2000