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Swiffer Jet

Struggling to be a little more independent(?) part 2ski

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so yeah, i'm sure you all have seen my old thread about how my dad was being very strict with me and such.


november is coming up and there are so many events that i want to attend.


lets see...


i currently attend college.


i live with my parents


my dad says i lost all tradition and such because i hang out with my friends too much.


starting last night, i'm not allowed out unless i'm going over to a relative's house and talk to them for fun.


what fueled the flame?


well, he told me to print out pictures of his niece for him and for me to get a satellite system from ebay a few weeks ago. i procrastinated.


i waited almost three weeks to do both of them (i just got them done with earlier this week).


within that time period, he asks me why i tell my mom about anything and not tell him. he tells me that she's not in charge of the house and that i have to ask him for permission to leave the house.


he also tells me that i'm the reason why this house isn't happy. house as in my parents, me, and my younger brother.


he wants me to be more family oriented, talk to the relatives, sit next to the men and listen to the conversations during family get-togethers.


last week, he goes and grabs a wooden stick from the garage and starts poking me in the head asking me if i'm scared of him hitting me.


he also yells at me asking me why i don't do what he asks ASAP. i mean shit...getting (illegal) free satellite is important huh.


one night after hanging out my my best girl-friend's house, i walk in the door. he asks where i went. i told him i went out. then he says, "the next time you do this, fuck school. you won't live here anymore. you'll be going to be living prison." i don't know why he said i'm going to prison but whatever.


this past tuesday, i went to watch a movie with my friends (that are still in high school) afterschool with them knowing that i have to be at my grandmother's to eat at 5pm. i admit, it was my fault for not leaving a note. so i get there at around 5.40-6.00 because of traffic. that's cool, he didn't utter a word to me about going out without asking for permission. i find it slightly ironic...while i was sitting down in the living room, my aunt and grandmother both asked why i look depressed for the past couple weeks. "i don't know"


yesterday comes by. my dad eats dinner. i'm already done with dinner. i tell him i'm going over to 16's house to help her with her homework. he tells me to sit down. "if she wants help with her homework, she can come here." i tell him i offered to help her. "don't give me an attitude. pick up the phone and call her and tell her you can't go." i told him i don't lie to people. "then tell her your parents didn't let you go."


then he goes about telling me that in this world, people have to lie in order to get the job that they want. that may be true but i'm not like that. i said to him, i just got hired at ---- ---- and i didn't lie to them. what wrong with me?


"shut the fuck up. whatever i can get my hands on, it'll be thrown into your face." (i spy a bowl of rice, chopsticks, fish, bowl is soup in the corner of my eye)


so i just went in my room and called 16 and told her the story. she was also having a bad day. i tried to cheer her up but it seemed as if i was failing. with me not being able to help her, i felt bad...on top of what was happening in my home-life.


last night, my dad tells me that he'll let me go out again once he sees me "improve being good."


i really want to go to these shows and events so i'm thinking about saying fuck home and bounce the fizzle out. what sucks even more is that i told 16 about some of those events too. today she asks, "since you're not able to go, who am i going to go with?" i told her she could go with "hold the cup" & "sean daley." "but i want to go with you," she says. aWw i felt special. (she's my ex). but yeah, i just don't want this oppurtunity to pass since she's never seen aesop in concert or go to a kewl hiphop jam.


the original intention was to not make it into a poll.


anyway, i talked to friend and they said it's cool. they just have to talk to the owner of the place. since i just got hired at the new job, i can help pay some of the bills and give them discounts on items. i also plan to finish the rest of this semester. once i'm done with school (early december) i want to drop my the house and drop off the car.


god, i wonder if i left anything out.


well, thanks for taking a very long time to read this post.


any input is welcome. bad or good.

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