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Boris The Butcher

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Posts posted by Boris The Butcher

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    So, you are obviously the big dick.

    The men on the side of ya are your balls.

    Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls,

    and there are little mincey faggot balls.

     

    Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever.

    They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action.

    And you thought you smelled some good old pussy,

    and have brought your two little mincey

    faggot balls along for a good old time.

    But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here,

    just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman.

    Like a prick, you are having second thoughts.

    You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you.

    and the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...

     

    And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"

    Written down the side of mine...

     

    Should precipitate your balls into shrinking,

    along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade,

    I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.

    In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs

    and I blamed it on the dog...

    When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids

    and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...

    But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then

    I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then,

    t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -

    and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience.

    And then, this was horrible, all the people started

    getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!'

    So I want you to get up now.

    I want all of you to get up out of your chairs.

    I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it,

    and stick your head out, and yell,

    'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!'

    I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows,

    open them and stick your head out and yell -

    'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

    Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!...

    You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

    Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis.

    But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:

     

    I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

    • Like 1

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    I'm not guilty. You're the one that's guilty.

    The lawmakers, the politicians, the Columbian drug lords, all you who lobby against making drugs legal.

    Just like you did with alcohol during the prohibition. You're the one who's guilty.

    I mean, c'mon, let's kick the ballistics here

    Ain't no Uzi's made in Harlem. Not one of us in here owns a poppy field.

    This thing is bigger than Nino Brown. This is big business. This is the American way.

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.

    For instance tomorrow morning

    I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and...

    walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll...

    crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank.

    And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail,

    hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma.

    And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid.

    I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

    HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah,

    you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you...

    but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing.

    I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

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