I'm in the running for South Dakota's prestigious "Player Hater Of the Year" 2007 award, and would like 12 0z.'s backing on my election. I believe I'm the most vile, venoumous, vendictive, vicious, player hater. Why?
#1.- South Dakota's main export is livestock. I'm known in the farming community as "The Tenderizer" for the mean backhand slap I've laid across countless cattle in the area....
#2- I often go down to the YMCA just to pee in the pool while the elderly aquatic fitness class is in session.
#3- I've been physically removed from Applebees numerous times for hating on there pathetically weak "Megarita" to the point of taking off my belt and whipping it across the table while screaming "Even Ghandi could drink this shit!!"
#4- I got a list of student addresses from the local elementary and sent each students parents a letter stating "We don't want your child attending our school any longer. He/she is butt ugly. We're reporting your exessive use of "the ugly stick" to authorities, and suggest brown bagging the child before sending them into public. Thank you"
#5- I bought a parrot just to teach him how to say " I'll pull the weave out your skank head".. His name is "wellfare".
#6- I've broken my pimp stick over the heads of 7 different Mary Kay door to door saleswoman in the past 2 months for not having my shade of acne cover up on hand...That's a %100 average...
#7- I frequently go to the Dollar store just to scowl at the customers and shake my head and chuckle as they make their purchases... Cuzz their asses are poor.
So when you think of Haters in the 605, think of Cezr One. Thanks for your time... Poor ass.
And remember, Hate! Hate! Hate!