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Guest BROWNer

...MORE QUOTES

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Guest BROWNer

"...you find out how full of shit everything is, whether its rap,

punk rock, or graffiti. It's all full of shit. There's hardly any real sincerity in any of

that stuff."- Revs

 

thats it for now...

if you want, add more at a leisurely pace...

 

*edited cuz the other quotes were too stiff

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Originally posted by BROWNer

"...you find out how full of shit everything is, whether its rap,

punk rock, or graffiti. It's all full of shit. There's hardly any real sincerity in any of

that stuff."- Revs

 

I've been pondering pretty much that exact same thing quite a bit recently...

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

"the best place to hide a lie is in between two truths" -CANIBUS

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Guest ctrl+alt+del

"big gulp ey?" jim carrey - dumb and dumber

CANT FUCK WITH THAT QUOTE

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Guest imported_Tesseract

"I would never want to be member of a club that has people like me as members" WOODY ALLEN.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

"Chocolate makes me horny, masturbation keeps me thin" TESSERACT

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Guest imported_Tesseract

http://www.lifeisajoke.com/Images/Woody_Allen.jpg'>

A hell of a director and a great sense of humor.

Imagine looking like this and having the women Woody had:crazy:

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

(Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex)

 

That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.

(Annie Hall)

 

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you

love.

(Annie Hall)

 

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good empty experience.

 

 

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

 

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

 

I'm such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own.

 

The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life.

(Annie Hall)

 

And if it turns out that there is a God, I don't believe that he is evil. The worst that can be said is that he's an underachiever.

(Love and Death)

 

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

(Play it Again Sam)

 

 

 

My brain - it's my second favorite organ.

(Sleeper)

 

Eternal nothingness is OK if you're dressed for it.

(Getting Even, 'My Philosophy')

 

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

(Getting Even, 'My Philosophy')

 

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

(Without Feathers, 'The Scrolls')

 

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

(Death)

 

 

My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.

 

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

 

I do not believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

 

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

 

 

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

 

The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.

 

More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

 

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

 

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

 

94.5% of all statistics are made up.

 

Why ruin a good story with the truth?

 

Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?

 

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light and certainly not desirable, as ones hat keeps falling off...

 

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

 

 

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

 

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

 

 

 

dont sleep.

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