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Guest Eski

chain letters

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Guest Eski

i am incredibly bored . got this in an email today . :)


Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and

deadly >diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,

fear of being >kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and

guilt for not forwarding >out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent

to me by people who actually >believe that if you send them on,

then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in >Arkansas with a breast

on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to >have it

removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling

freak show. > >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going

>>to give you and everyone >you send his email to $1000? How stupid

>>are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I >scroll down this page and make a

>>wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny >in the magazine! What a

>>bunch of fucking bullshit. > >So basically, this message is a big

>>FUCK YOU to all the people out there who >have nothing better to do

>>than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe >the evil chain

>>letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize >me in

>>my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser

>>in 5 >A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on

>>the Mayflower and >if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the

>>Guinness Book of World >Records for longest continuous streak of

>blatant stupidity. > >Fuck them! > >If you're going to forward

>>something, at least send me something mildly >fucking amusing. I've

>>seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, >and this

>>poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a

>> >Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I

>>don't fucking >care. Show a little intelligence and think about

>>what you're actually >contributing to by sending out forwards.

>>Chances are it's your own >unpopularity. > > >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES

>>OF CHAIN LETTERS: > >Chain Letter Type 1: >(scroll down) > > >Make

>>a wish!!! > > > > >Keep Scrolling > > > >No, really, go on and make

>>one!!! > > > > > >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! >Wish

>>something else!!! > > > > > >Not that, you pervert!! > > > > > >

>> >STOP!!!! > > >Wasn't that fun? :) >Hope you made a great wish :)

>> > > >Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of

>all, if you >don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds,

>>you will be raped by a >mad goat and thrown off a high building

>>into a pile of manure. > >It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't

>>like those fake ones, THIS one is >TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it

>>goes: > >*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at

>>you for sending >them a stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 2-5

>>people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending >them a

>>stupid chain letter. > >*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will

>>be pissed off at you for sending >them a stupid chain letter, and

>>may form a plot on your life. > >*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20

>>people will be pissed off at you for >sending them a stupid chain

>>letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! >Good Luck!!! >

> >Chain Letter Type 2 > >Hello, and thank you for reading this

>>letter. You see, there is a starving >little boy in

>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, >and

>>no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every

>>time >you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little

>>Starving Legless >Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen

>>Fund. > >Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting

>>the emails sent and >this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go

>>on, reach out. Send this to 5 >people in the next 47 seconds. >

>> >Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6

>>people, you >will die instantly. > >Thanks again!! > > >Chain

>>Letter Type 3 > >Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence

>>since 1897. This is >absolutely incredible because there was no

>>email then and probably not as >many sad pricks with nothing better

>>to do. > >So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people

>>in the next 7 >minutes or something horrible will happen to you

>>like: > >*Bizarre Horror Story #1 >Miranda Pinsley was walking home

>>from school on Saturday. She had recently >received this letter and

>>ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the >sidewalk, fell into

>>the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of >poopie, and

>>went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,

>> >she died. This Could Happen To You!!! > >*Bizarre Horror Story #2

>> >Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and

>>ignored >it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his

>>boyfriend (hey, some >people swing that way). They both died and

>>went to hell and were cursed to >eat adorable kittens every day for

>>eternity. > >This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could

>>end up just like Pinsley >and Bip. Just send this letter to all of

>>your loser friends, and everything >will be okay. > > >Chain Letter

>>Type 4 > >As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. >Send it to

>>all your friends. > >FRIENDS: > >A friend is someone who is always

>>at your side. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you

>>stink of shit, and your >breath smells like you've been eating

>>catfood. > >A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as

>ugly as a hat full >of assholes. > >A friend is someone who cleans

>>up for you after you've soiled yourself. > >A friend is someone who

>>stays with you all night while you cry about your >sad, sad life. >

>> >A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really

>>think you >should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious

>>dogs. > >A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and

>>then gets the check >and leaves and doesn't speak much

>>English...no, sorry that's the cleaning >lady. > >A friend is NOT

>>someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his >wish of

>>being rich to come true. > >Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll

>>never have sex ever again! > > >The point being? If you get some

>>chain letter that's threatening to leave >you shagless or luckless

>>for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's >funny, send it on.

>>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a >leper in

>>Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27

>> >years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per >letter he'll receive

>>if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like >Miranda.

>>Right? > >Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise

>>you'll find all your >knickers missing tomorrow morning!

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