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The Fun Police

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Posts posted by The Fun Police

  1. Re: RHODE ISLAND PARTY THREAD FUCK YOU

     

    There's no beating them. They are too many... the best you can do is avoid them.

    You stay around them too long and before you know it you have some shitty second hand deep V cardigan over a local sports t shirt from a town you've never heard of and thick black rimmed glasses smoking a hand rolled cigarette outside a utterly tragic "noise" show talking about how much better it was at some other point in some other place. Fuck all.

  2. Re: RHODE ISLAND PARTY THREAD FUCK YOU

     

    Moses Brown: A school where rich faggots send their spoiled brats. It was founded at least 100 years ago by the guy on the Quaker Oats box. Students at Moses Brown receive a well-rounded edumacation in being an asshole, taking advantage of poor people, and sitting around being self-absorbed. The school claims to have after-school programs that are acclaimed state-wide, which isn't hard to do since Rhode Island is of the size and quality of my fungus-infested toenail.

  3. Re: RHODE ISLAND PARTY THREAD FUCK YOU

     

    Olneyville

     

    The great village ghetto is known for contributing 5 murders to Rhode Island every year. Oddly enough, and surely unrelated, there are only 5 murders every year in the entire state. Olneyville is filled with rodents, chicken, and cute little girls. Like any great ghetto, there are "turf" wars. However, unlike every other ghetto, the current war was started by really cool college students who are trying to take back land from the current owners and stick it to The Man. Several warehouses have been converted by unique individuals into underground music venues where underage drinking and child prostitution are common.

  4. Re: RHODE ISLAND PARTY THREAD FUCK YOU

     

    Rhode Island From Encyclopedia Dramatica

     

     

     

    Rhode Island is a small, dago-infested principality on the east coast of the United States. This makes it like an Americunt version of Monaco, but instead of hookers and blow and people who are rich and beautiful, Rhode Island is filled with faggots, Child Boxing, Liberals and fail. In terms of size, it's basically a suburb of Massachusetts, or a glorified county at best. It takes 17 minutes to drive through Rhode Island.

     

    Bluebug.jpg

    Everyone in Rhode Island thinks the Big Blue Bug is hilarious. That is because they are unfunny and boring

     

    People

     

    Rhode Island is entirely run by the mafia. The National Guard and police are solely composed of fat guys named "Vinny," "Tony," and "Vito" who wear leather jackets and chains, even in their uniforms. Ironically, there is no crime in Rhode Island, at least of the unorganized variety. This is because Rhode Island posts guards at its borders with Connecticut to keep out any niggers. Should any niggers or faggots slip in, it is these guards' duty to beat them into comas. Some niggers have slipped into Central Falls and Pawtucket; these places are best avoided at all costs.

     

    Rhode Island's capital Providence, like Washington, DC, has a boner for electing felons as Mayor. One of their mayors, Buddy Cianci, was sent to jail last Thursday. After he got out of jail, he was promptly elected as Mayor, only to be v& again a few years later. To make up for it, the good citizens of Providence then elected an admitted faggot in his stead. Said faggot then outlawed straight secks, excluding Barrington.

     

    Naturally, all of Rhode Island is composed of liberal ginzos. H.P. Lovecraft is also buried here. This means that at any given moment, you can find fat goffik chicks cutting themselves at his gravesite and attempting to practice Wicca with their fat, clumsy hands, while nervously keeping an eye out for the aforementioned police.

  5. He probably has dementia... and by probably I mean definitely. Though honestly when i visited my girls family in Puerto Rico I had to go to a home for old folks with Alzheimers and dementia and shit... oh my god was that depressing... her grandmother was there. Realistically you are giving this guy the one thing he wants which is to live in the comfort of his home until his end and all you have to do is exactly what a family member should do. It's gonna suck but it'll be fun for sure, you'll learn a ton and probably grow up a bit... not that i know anything about growing up. Roll with the punches dude.

  6. Re: gay gallery shit in an abandoned subway station

     

    There is absolutely NO reason for this to have taken place. Street art can be street art all it wants but it crossed a line with the subterranean invasion... Writers, I'm fairly positive, have been the only ones interested in spaces like that and as such are the only ones who have ever done anything with them. This "show" is fucking stupid and I hope everyone involved is bummed out on being a part of something so counter productive... especially revok and smith.

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