EastBay_Impersonator

Paris Hilton sent me a text message the other day. -EBPH

*You're -EBPH

No, but I knew him. He was the one that introduced me to that bitch Dina. Yeah, I fucked her. -EBPH

You should've posted a Tonka truck, and not that offbrand bullshit. The reason being is that I just so happen to know Tonka himself. Me, him, and Spider-Man used to kick it together at Camp Anawanna. -EBPH

People need to stop saying I'm a name-dropper or that I'm self-absorbed. First off, I told Jason Giambi to stop sending me free PS3's, I already have 15 of those consoles. I have no real relation to him, I just know him through my rich Dad but that's a whole different matter. The important thing is that Mario & Luigi stopped by and hooked me up with a Nintendo Wii before powering up on a shroom and getting the fuck out of my 5 acre mansion. They had to go because Vida Guerra and myself had to spend some quality time together, since she was spending the night. But we were rudely interrupted when Mark Cuban called me and asked me if I wanted to sign with the Dallas Mavericks, but I told him no because me and Dirk Nowitzki had a falling out and we don't get along anymore. I beat him in poker and that punk owes me 50 grand, and so does that other fucker the Dalai Llama. That nigga needs to stop using my orange bathrobe as his prayer gown. So fuck that. Why would I sign with the Mavs today when I have a meeting with Donald Trump on his private yacht tommorrow? You niggas complaining about the price of $400,000 yachts need to shut the fuck up and learn how to stack your paper, losers. I work at Best Buy as a side venture as a cover to my lavish lifestyle. It's a cover like that role in Training Day played by that nigger Denzel Washington, whom, by the way, is a cool motherfucker since he loaned me his bike the other day. Which was a Harley-Davidson, and I knew both Harley and Davidson. Truth of the matter is, I throw the "n" word around because I hate niggers, despite the fact that I kicked it with E-40 and other hyphy rappers the other day. It was crazy son, just like that time me and Peter Griffin did a cutaway scene together which had nothing to do with the topic being spoke about, just like now. Well that's all for now, oh yeah 2Pac, come holler at a nigga, we need to work on that album. Peace. -EBPH

First off, I told Jason Giambi to stop sending me free PS3's, I already have 15 of those consoles. I have no real relation to him, I just know him through my rich Dad but that's a whole different matter. The important thing is that Mario & Luigi stopped by and hooked me up with a Nintendo Wii before powering up on a shroom and getting the fuck out of my 5 acre mansion. They had to go because Vida Guerra and myself had to spend some quality time together, since she was spending the night. But we were rudely interrupted when Mark Cuban called me and asked me if I wanted to sign with the Dallas Mavericks, but I told him no because me and Dirk Nowitzki had a falling out and we don't get along anymore. I beat him in poker and that punk owes me 50 grand, and so does that other fucker the Dalai Llama. That nigga needs to stop using my orange bathrobe as his prayer gown. So fuck that. Why would I sign with the Mavs today when I have a meeting with Donald Trump on his private yacht tommorrow? You niggas complaining about the price of $400,000 yachts need to shut the fuck up and learn how to stack your paper, losers. I work at Best Buy as a side venture as a cover to my lavish lifestyle. It's a cover like that role in Training Day played by that nigger Denzel Washington, whom, by the way, is a cool motherfucker since he loaned me his bike the other day. Which was a Harley-Davidson, and I knew both Harley and Davidson. Truth of the matter is, I throw the "n" word around because I hate niggers, despite the fact that I kicked it with E-40 and other hyphy rappers the other day. It was crazy son, just like that time me and Peter Griffin did a cutaway scene together which had nothing to do with the topic being spoke about, just like now. Well that's all for now, oh yeah 2Pac, come holler at a nigga, we need to work on that album. Peace.