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Tavaruawon

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Posts posted by Tavaruawon

    Underground Apocalypse Porn Bunker

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    My 30th birthday is December 18th of 2012 and also happen get off that five year felony probation shit. I had an end of the world rager siesta planned but... I'm making a pilgrimage to this place with some babes and my SHTF pack instead. My giant dick and lack of STD's will guarantee me entry.

    The Skateboard Thread

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    This thread is like...

     

    Aww shit you know what. I had a rant keyed out and ready to delivar. No go.

     

    Lots of gossip and pointless posturing in this thread though. I get the feeling that most of you suck, and cant push mongo.

     

    :lol:

    MLB 2011.. never to early thread!

    in Entertainment

    Posted

    Says Bacardi.

     

    My head is going to implode.

     

    Money Ball comes out tomorrow. I am going to see it for sure. It's all us A's fans have to remember this season by.

     

    Got free vouchers for being an extra. I hear I'm in the stands in a few scenes. Also, my boy Paul Keck is playing Rafael Palmeiro in the movie. Random fact.

    • Like 1

    The Nonsense thread

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    DEAD MILKMEN RANTS. GOTTA LOVE IT.

     

    You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here

    in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good

    Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and

    Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're

    good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing

    to the soil.

     

    You know that Johnny Werzner kid - the kid who delivers papers in the

    neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes

    crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he

    wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow

    owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy

    breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10:30 the other night I

    go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I

    said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow

    owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a

    burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they

    call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that

    is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

     

    I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy

    Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year?

    Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep

    your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a

    daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey

    everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found

    his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open

    up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And

    it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the

    queers are doing to our soil?"

     

    Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big

    underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example.

    Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you

    can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming.

    But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers.

    They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay

    Martians. I swear to God.

     

    You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here

    in the trailer park.

    • Like 1

    Official Jameson appreciation thread

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    Left my phone at a friends spot last night.

     

    So basically -- that means I got nothing to do, nowhere to be and no buisiness to attend to all day. Me and this fifth O' James were thinking about partying.

     

    I'm going to try that Ginger Ale concoction, sounds like a good way to ease into my whisky coma for the day. Seeing as it's 9:40 in the fucking AM.

     

    I don't even feel like putting on shorts. Just going to rock penny-loafers, boxers and a big foam hat all day.

     

    This is going to be awesome.

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