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I can't fucking sleep


bodice_ripper

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Man i was on the shitter this one time and a spider dropped from the vent above me into my fucking pants... i took off my pants and boxers and started like slamming em into walls and shit and i never did get the nerve to put em back on again... or i was camping this one time and in the middle of the night my buddy starts screaming and jumping around and punching himself in the crotch and then he opens up his pants and theres a tick like half burried into the tip of his dick... scared the shit outa me...

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