TheZarosOne

tell me what i can fix pls

I started writing a while ago, but then i stopped for a long time, now i want to start again, but i would like some feedback/tips/etc.

I haven't been doing it for long, but i'm still not really that good. Tips would be nice please. :) If you want to see the rest of my stuff, and see new stuff when i do it, like my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-ZarosOne/174295565923384 I'm always happy to hear new feed back. :)