You know you are bound to get crits whenever you post your stuff. Dont take them personal.
I like what you were aiming for, but some parts are too sloppy. And you always seem to over-do the 'L", which in my opinion kills the flow of the piece.
That Vossy fill is nice.
And REAM. I think you should quit using ironlaks and montanas, and stick to some Rustos.