You're a small, sad little man dude. I gotta be real though it's a lot easier to both walk and network ever since I had the 200lb shit talking tumor surgically removed from my rectum. You go ahead and keep rolling with it, it's only a matter of time before your roommate sees through your bullshit and you've sucked him dry, all of your bridges are burned, and I'm tossing quarters into your cup downtown.
PS, from one father to another I'd recommend you kill that dumb shit about people dying unless you mean it, cuz I'm not goin anywhere yet.