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letter of the day 9-19

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by beardo, Sep 19, 2003.

  1. beardo

    beardo Guest

    im so far out of the loop with all these candidates, but this seemed like something that could stir some convo amongst those in the know.

    holler @ it

    Subject:
    I'm John Kerry and here's my record of lies as a public servant. Did I mention that I'm a member of the SKULL and BONES?

    To:
    Sen. Dianne Feinstein

    September 18, 2003

    Here is a letter from Anytown , WA:

    "Hi, I'm John Kerry.

    I went to Yale. Like Bush.

    I am a member of The Order of The Skull and Bones. Like Bush.

    I refuse to discuss my membership in a secret society who’s agenda is acquisition through global war.

    I went to Vietnam. That makes me look better than Bush who hid in Texas and then went AWOL.

    But I decided after I got back from Vietnam, that the protesters who were wrong when I went, were right after all because America seemed to agree with them and ended the war.

    So I made a big show of throwing away my medals in front of the media. But I lied, they weren't actually my medals I tossed into the water. That makes me deceptive. Like Bush.

    I'll do anything to side with what I think is a majority at the time. Like the war against Iraq.

    I voted to give Bush the right to attack Iraq at any time he decided.

    I parroted all the same false claims that Bush made about Iraq: Weapons of mass destruction, having a nuclear weapon very soon. I knew it wasn’t true then, but the important thing was that I had no way of knowing just how hard it was going to be to win the war or plant the weapons.

    Now that the war has turned out to be a gigantic mess, and is rapidly losing the support of the American people, and now that it looks more likely than not, that by November of 04 it'll be an even bigger, less popular mess, I am going to accuse Bush of being an idiot for doing what I gave him permission to do after I agreed with each and every false charge he leveled against Saddam.

    And being a guy who went to Vietnam because it was right, but who came back and decided that because you all said it wasn't right, that it was really wrong, and being a guy who like to put on a great big show of how high I can stick my finger in the wind, I decided that when Bush made a big show in front on an aircraft carrier, he was a disgrace because so many of you all were condemning it.

    So I condemned George W. Bush for using an aircraft carrier to boost his image.

    But in looking at the polls, it seems that I may have been wrong about that aircraft carrier promotional; It seemed to work after all.

    So I announced my running for President, right in front of a great big aircraft carrier.

    I need to be your new President so I can end Bush's ruinous deceit of the American people. That means that you’ll be better off if I am the one lying to you every day; I am slightly better at it.

    Let me summarize everything I stand for:

    Veitnam was right.
    FLIP
    Veitnam was wrong.
    FLOP
    I threw away my war medals.
    FLIP
    I didn't throw away my war medals.
    FLOP
    Bush was right to attack Saddam.
    FLIP
    Bush was wrong to attack Saddam.
    FLOP
    Photo ops in front of aircraft carriers are disgraceful.
    FLIP
    I'm going to create a photo op in front of an aircraft carrier.
    FLOP
    Bush is a liar. I am.....
    I am a member of The Order of The Skull and Bones.
    That was the TRUTH. Don’t get used to this and try not to pay attention.


    I'm John Kerry. Whatever that is.

    John! Why the long face?

    HOWARD DEAN IN 04
    Anytown , WA


    Garden Grove , CA
     
  2. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    humorous but scary.
     
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