[So this guy comes in to where I work today]

never even heard of him

[Weight Loss Girlies]

ricki lake always talking about "back before I got thin"

 

uhhhhhhhhhh, what?

[getting old....]

so my birthdays sunday and im going to be 20

im starting to feel old counting the days down.....lame sauce

 

what, did you fall down and break a hip or something?

 

if not - then shut the hell up

[ive been at work for an hour and havent done shit...]

are you all cops?

[i am a cop]

aren't most cops maladjusted little weirdos that only go into police work so that they can unfairly exert and abuse authority to make ordinary citizens as depressed and angry as they themselves are?

 

can one of the requirements for employment be that you were hugged as a child?

[australia ahoy!]

are you going to the reef? port douglas or cairns?

[I just got my car stolen...]

omg if i put various pieces of all these stories together its exactly like when my car got stolen

 

police did nothing .. i figured it out on my own when the dumbass thief called me pretending to be the police and trying to get info from me

 

it was my neighbor across the street

 

mine too was impounded and when i told the cops who did it, they didnt even care

and this was a very nice, new car too

[The first things you'd buy]

a whole personal staff so that i can quit working forever and just be waited on and pampered while i out roaming the planet

[Every kid born today]

is mentally retarted

 

 

 

 

 

you mean as in.... they can't spell retarded?

[Has 12oz changed YOUR LIFE?]

it taught me to avoid creepy net nerds that spend all their time on a website trying to get nekkid pics of chicks

[me and the girl split]

breaking up and moving out is so uplifting!

 

you sound like a bad billy joel song

[Son or Daughter?]

son

 

named after grandpa so we can inherit all the money....

[Help me name my new dog.]

seriously - name the dog "Bitch"

 

you can say stuff like "Bitch, bring me the remote"

 

or

 

when you get mad at your wife you can say "Bitch, you make me want to hurl"

 

then pretend you were talking to the dog

[question of attraction]

I think love makes you see fat asses as chubby. when in fact, they are.. obese. I think. You know wha ti mean?

 

I like Fat pussy's though. skinny ones,,, eh, nothing to grab onto.

 

ummmm, do you mean the pubic area?

[question of attraction]

where do you draw the line on what is too large?

 

i mean i see women all the time that i think are enormous

 

and then bf threatens to leave me if i dont lose weight

 

and its like wtf?

 

im average

[Help me name my new dog.]

dint know johnny cash was on 12 oz

[Help me name my new dog.]

oh hey johnny! dint see ya there

[Help me name my new dog.]

bevo

[question of attraction]

i'm talking about chubby

 

but i guess chubby is relative

 

my boyfriend wants me to be a size 4, im a size 8- he gives me so much pressure im about to dump him

 

and damn, ive seen girls get picked up at the club that are skinny as shit but disgusting hair and zits all over while really gorgeous, but bigger girls stand alone

 

go figure

[question of attraction]

which is better......

 

pudgy pretties or skinny uglies?

[What do you do when your drunk?]

STREAK

 

it's very liberating

[anyone else sick of their grill?]

Re: anyone else sick of their girl?

 

"Chicks dig scars"

what movie is that from?

Fight club?

[i feel bald story]

i would have rolled her up in the mats and carried her out like a piece of carpet to save her from any further embarrassment

[i met trifey]

Re: i met wifey

 

get a penis stretcher?

[12oz Fashion Police (Show Me Your Threads)]

Re: 12oz Fashion Police

 

girl, you started a whole thread to show that off?

 

what a waste