Re: 1980 HEIST 2005 rest in peace!!!
I wrote this yesterday for my blog, but wanted to share it with our friends....
One year ago
You spoke on the phone. You ate, you walked, you watched tv, you laughed, you cried, you drew, and you breathed.
Not to me, but I am certain my face ran through your mind.
Maybe some stupid joke, or a memory of me passed by.
You could have called me you know. But I'm not mad. You knew that if you would have told me your plans, I would have talked some sense into you... or at least delayed you for some time... maybe even a moment. But it would have been one more moment that you could be here.
One year ago
I still held some anger.
But looking through all of that, we were friends again.
Not as close as once before, but able to share a laugh, or grab a bite to eat. Or call each other on the phone to shoot the shit for a minute. Close enough to start calling each other names again - in that one way. Where it was funny each time... long after it should have gotten old. "Dickhead", "Slappy", "Goofy Bastard", "Mook Bastard"... just another way of saying... hey man, I'm glad to be your friend. It's funny how calling my friends names has brought a new meaning. It's something I took from our friendship. And so did others.
One year ago...
I know you passed through my mind. I don't know what for, and I don't know why. But I was different then. Little did I know that the following day... it would be the first day my world would flip upside down. I didn't know that in two days, Danny would call us to say you were missing. I didn't know that by the end of the week, I would be calling friends to break the news. I didn't know that in the following week, I would be taking off of work to be close to our friends. I didn't know that I would be seeing people cry when your name was brought up, or your picture was looked at. I didn't know that in a week and a half, I would be dressed in a shirt and tie celebrating and mourning your life with close friends and strangers... looking at pictures of you as a kid. I didn't know that in less than a month, I would hear my best friend cry for the first time. I didn't know that in a year, I would be writing this. I didn't know that this could change me forever.
As far as I knew, I was certain I'd be talking to you soon.
I didn't know how much you influenced me until you were gone. I didn't know how many lessons I had learned about life, graffiti, and people in general until you were gone. I didn't know what it was like to truely lose something until you were gone. I didn't know how important friendships were until you were gone.
If it has ever crossed anybody's mind that your life was wasted by this, it is untrue. You had your purpose in life, and you ended it without realizing your purpose. For me, part of your purpose was to change the way I viewed my life. To change the way I viewed EVERYTHING. To give me memories that I will never forget. To cherish every minute with my friends. To keep good memories, and not hold grudges. As far as everyone else goes, I'm sure that in one way or another... they feel the same way.
The point of this letter is to say that 365 days ago, you entered my mind for some reason, and have not left since. I don't think of you as "HEIST". That wasn't your name, it was just a part of you. You were my friend. And I will always remember you as that.